硅谷红娘牵线忙

    艾米•安德森最近和一位风险投资家约了一次会。她的一个朋友帮她安排了好几场相亲，这只是其中的一场。光看介绍，这人好像还真不赖：30多岁的年纪，风趣幽默，外表英俊，体格健壮。他们是在旧金山太平洋高地的哈利酒吧（Harry's Bar）见的面，这个用樱桃木装修的酒吧是体育爱好者喜欢去的地方。但当他们坐下开始聊天之后，这个夜晚的气氛就变得不那么让人愉快了。金发碧眼的美人儿安德森解释说：“他东看看，西看看，一直在打量其他对象。”当安德森问他在干什么时，他笑道自己在寻找“BBD”——也就是更大、更好的生意，就这次约会而言，就是个更棒的女人。“这可把我吓坏了。”

    这种令人发指的故事可能并不稀奇，但就安德森这个例子来说，却有一些正面启发。这位36岁的创业家创立了Linx Dating。这是一家位于门罗帕克的婚姻介绍所。成立十年来，她在技术公司高管、创业家、投资者和公关专家当中赢得了这么一个名声：当代硅谷红娘。她的750位“活跃”客户——也就是最近两年内注册的个人用户——包括来自各大科技公司的员工，比如苹果（Apple）、Facebook、谷歌（Google）、亚马逊（Amazon）、甲骨文（Oracle）、Salesforce。他们中间既有二十岁出头的创业者，也有六十多岁的退休技术高管和投资人。他们有可能和目前并未积极寻找约会对象的250多个客户配对，或者 和安德森数据库里的19,000多人交友。数据库里的人既有别人推荐来的，也有注册了Linx Dating的通讯邮件或是参加交友会的用户。她的活跃客户中，至少有90个人现在建立了正式的情侣关系，其中38人结了婚（而且没人离婚）。

    囊中羞涩的人可不是她的服务对象。一套基本服务可能就要价2,500美元，而定制的VIP服务起价就是5万美元。基本服务是在两年里给你介绍人数不定的对象。VIP服务则增加了大量额外内容，包括如何购买行头，以及社交礼仪课程。安德森说：“这些客户什么都不缺——不管是教育背景还是工作经历，他们都完美无缺——但说到社会资源就未必了，或者在某些情况下，他们也缺乏吸引心仪对象的社交礼仪。”

    比如有这么一位离了婚的VIP客户。他二十出头，是游戏公司的程序员，有严重的社交焦虑症。安德森整整花了16个小时调教他。他们把他破破烂烂的牛仔裤和臭烘烘的运动鞋扔掉，给他买了一身全新的行头，还给他搞了场模拟约会，帮他准备好谈话要点，教他怎么保持眼神交流，甚至教他怎么得体地拥抱，而不是在人家背上生硬地拍一下。另外，因为他是骑车上班的，所以她还特地安排了一辆车去接他的约会对象。

    Linx在很多方面与Match.com和OkCupid.com等在线约会服务业巨头形成了鲜明对比。在线约会改变了人们的求爱方式，行业总价值已达到12亿美元。尽管在线交友已经成为情侣们互相认识的第二大方式，但安德森却坚持认为，在很多情况下，像OkCupid这样的公司采用的配对算法并不能真正解决问题。在线约会可能帮了一部分人，但却也给另一些人造成了障碍。它助长了一种挑挑拣拣的风气，弄得好像买东西一样，好像更好的对象只需要点一下鼠标就能找到，或者就近在眼前似的。

    这种BBD心态正是安德森所厌恶的。她解释道：“有时候当我和客户在一起时，我不得不重新训练他们。我必须告诉他们，让脑子转得慢一点儿。尤其是他们已经非常习惯于“候选对象无穷无尽，还会有更好的”那种心态。在这种心态驱使下，数量似乎胜过了质量。”要说清这个差别，也就是她的服务凭什么比在线服务要好，可能颇具挑战性。不过安德森发现，来找她的客户要么是已经因为在线遇人不淑而心灰意冷，要么就是成天加班加点的技术牛人，他们想要更直接的线下约会方式。

    Amy Andersen was on a date. It was one of several with a venture capitalist that a friend had set her up with. On paper, he seemed ideal: mid-30s, funny, good-looking, athletic. But as they saddled up at Harry's Bar, a cherrywood-lined sports haunt in San Francisco's Pacific Heights, the evening took a wrong turn. "He was looking around the room and surveying," she explains. When Andersen, a striking blonde, asked him what he was doing, he smiled and confessed he was scouting for the "BBD:" the bigger, better deal, or in this case, woman. "I was horrified."

    Such horror stories may be commonplace, but in Andersen's case, something positive came out of it. The 36-year-old entrepreneur founded Linx Dating, a Menlo Park-based matchmaking service. And in the decade since, she's fashioned a reputation among tech executives, entrepreneurs, investors, and publicists as a modern-day Silicon Valley yenta. Her 750 "active" clients -- individuals who have signed up just within the last two years -- include employees of companies such as Apple (AAPL), Facebook (FB), Google (GOOG), Amazon (AMZN), Oracle (ORCL), Salesforce (CRM) and run from early twenty-something entrepreneurs to retired tech execs and investors in their sixties. Those clients may be potentially paired up with the 250-plus clients who aren't actively seeking a date at the moment or the 19,000 additional people in Andersen's database, a mix of referrals and people who signed up for the company's newsletter or mixers. Of her active clients, at least 90 are in exclusive relationships, and 38 are now married. (None have divorced.)

    Her services aren't for the cash-strapped. A basic plan may cost $2,500, while a customized V.I.P. service starts at $50,000. The former nets an unspecified number of introductions over the next two years. The latter adds a slew of extras, including wardrobe shopping and long lessons in proper social etiquette. "They have the resources -- they have everything lined up in their life, academically and professionally speaking -- but not the social resources, or in some cases, the social graces to meet the right one," says Andersen.

    In the case of one V.I.P., a divorced twenty-something coder at a gaming company with extreme social anxiety, Andersen spent 16 hours coaching him. They tossed his ratty jeans and smelly sneakers and bought new outfits. She walked him through a mock-date scenario, prepped him with talking points, taught him how to maintain eye contact, even how to properly hug vs. a stiff slap on the back. And because he rides a bike to work, she arranged for a car service to pick up his date.

    In many ways, Linx is the antithesis of online dating services like Match.com and OkCupid, a $1.2 billion industry that has transformed the way people court. While online is now the second-most popular way couples meet, Andersen argues that in many situations, a matching algorithm, like the one OkCupid employs, doesn't cut it. Online may help some, but deter others, fostering a pick-and-choose shopping philosophy that someone better is a click away or just around the corner.

    It's this so-called BBD mentality that Andersen dislikes. "When I sometimes work with clients, I have to retrain them," she explains. "I have to tell them to slow down their thinking, especially when they've become very used to that high-volume, grass-is-always-greener sort of mentality where it's quantity over quality." Explaining that difference, how the advantages of her services trump online, can be challenging. But Andersen finds many of the clients who come to her have either become disillusioned by their online misadventures or, in the case of many tech types who work long hours, seek a more hands-on approach.