女性成功学：要坦诚不要攻击

    这个话题到现在这已经是老生常谈了：科技公司的董事会（或者任何公司董事会）中难觅女性影踪；财富500强的首席执行官中女性比例低于3%；女性收入只有男性的77%。没错，这些我们都听说过了。职场一直都存在“女性问题”最近几个月愈演愈烈。我们知道这样一个鲜为人知的研究：有远见的公司会吸收女性加入决策层，而这些公司往往拥有更好的盈利、更快乐的员工、更具社会责任意识。那很好，但在其它公司的女性状况如何？你知道，并不是所有公司都会看重领导团队的多元化。

    2008年我第一次作为分析师参加麦肯锡（McKinsey）的会议却没有发言。我保持沉默的原因是怕说错话。我觉得自己没什么可说的，我甚至不确定他人是否在意我的观点。这种不安全感从何而来？

    女性在向权力顶峰攀登的过程中阻碍重重，而且这种阻碍不仅仅存在于最后几级。希拉里•克林顿的前顾问安妮-玛丽•斯劳特的文章《为何女人依旧无法内外兼顾》（Why Women Still Can't Have it All）所关注的女性觉得她们为了成家只有牺牲职业。当然，我目前只有26岁，不会假装明白兼顾职业和下一代是什么感觉，但身为一个单亲身业女性（更不用说她还是位社会学家）的女儿，我还是可以说我了解将来所要面临的艰难选择。最重要的是我明白，不要轻易评判其她女性的人生决定。斯劳特的文章和“女性空间”里的很多其她声音也给出了补救措施，例如广泛的社会变革，共同分担养育子女的责任和灵活的时间安排等。

    这些建议把责任推给体制。如果这是个完美的世界，做到这一点就足够了。但社会文化的改变其实就像冰川移动般缓慢。我们不能再自我欺骗，以为凭借几位女性的大声疾呼和猛烈攻击就能迫使公司就范，就能让更多女性获得顶级职位。确实，看看我们如何改变自己所在的公司，这是往正确方向迈出的一步，但我们需要更多地与各行各业的职业女性展开合作性的对话。我们需要更专注于可行的方案和容易获得的技能，如此，才能对抗阻碍女性向上爬升的制度偏见。

    泛泛而谈事业和家庭的平衡当然是有益的，但它将一大批女性排除在了外面：单亲母亲、没有子女的女性和刚刚开始职业生涯的女性（下一代还远未提上议事日程）。我们应该更多地注重向女性提供全过程的职业战略建议，这样她们就能为成功做好准备。而它包括坦诚地探讨成功和失败的例子，抛开通常的虚伪外表，勇敢面对失败。（没有人十全十美。）

    It's a broken record at this point: the dearth of women on boards of tech companies (or on any boards for that matter); that less than 3% of Fortune 500 CEOs are women; that women make 77 cents to a man's dollar. Yes, we've heard. There are "Women's Issues" in the workplace, and they have taken a new turn in recent months. While less publicized, we know the research: Companies that are forward-thinking enough to include women in decision-making tend to flaunt better bottom lines, happier employees, and more socially-conscious businesses. That's all great, but what about women at the other companies? You know, the companies that aren't as focused on creating diverse leadership teams.

    In my first meeting as an analyst at McKinsey in 2008, I didn't speak. Afraid that I would sound stupid, I sat there quietly. I didn't believe that I had anything worthy to say, and I didn't know if anyone would care about my point of view. Where did this insecurity come from?

    Women face barriers when climbing to the top, but it's not always on those last few rungs. Former Hillary Clinton aide Anne-Marie Slaughter's article "Why Women Still Can't Have it All" focused on women who feel like they must bow out of their careers to start a family. While at 26 I can't pretend to know what it will be like to have a child and a career, I can say as the daughter of a working single mother (a sociologist to boot) I know I will face tough choices down the line. And most importantly I know the importance of not judging other women's life decisions. Slaughter's article and many other voices in this "women's space" suggest remedies like broad-based social change, 50/50 parenting, and flexible hours.

    All of those things place the responsibility on the institutions. In a perfect world, that would be enough. But cultural change often runs at a glacial pace. We need to stop pretending that getting more women to the top is going to magically happen by relying on several women asking for change and launching fiery attacks at companies that don't. Sure, it's a step in the right direction to look at how we change the institutions that employ us, but we need to shift toward collaborative conversations with businesswomen of all types. And we need to focus more on actionable solutions and skills that we can build to combat the institutional biases towards women's ascent to the top.

    The typical work-life conversations are helpful, but they exclude huge numbers of women: single mothers, those without children, and those just starting out their careers (with babies not even a blip on their radar). Focusing more on providing career strategies to women throughout their careers will set them up for success. That involves honestly discussing the approaches that work and those that fail -- beyond the usual veneer -- and without being ashamed of failure. (Nobody's perfect.)