职场五大终极难题的沟通技巧

“我想加薪”

    即使确实需要、而且也应该涨工资，要求加薪前人们仍很容易自我质疑：如果老板认为不值得给自己加薪怎么办？如果老板有一阵子没给人加薪了怎么办？或者，让老板觉得你总爱抱怨又该怎么办？

    畅销书《关键对话：高效沟通的技巧》（Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High）一书的作者约瑟夫•格雷尼指出，争取更好的待遇或者津贴不应该威胁到一个人的工作，但前提是你要采用正确的方法——特别是在得到赏识的时候。

    那么得偿所愿的关键是什么呢？格雷尼的建议是，忠于事实。

    他说：“首先，上网研究一下薪酬情况，弄清楚本地区和自己从事类似工作的人拿多少工资。然后，准备有力的证据来说明为什么你的工作表现值得加薪。”

    格雷尼还建议，不管做什么，都不要说自己出于个人原因而需要提高工资（无论有多么紧急）。

    他说，为了让公司高层更容易接受你的观点，“你要让老板觉得这是他在了解情况后做出的商业决策，而不是在搞慈善捐款。”

“我的业绩考核不公正”

    约瑟夫•格雷尼是一位经理人教练，他所在的领导力开发机构VitalSmarts设在犹他州普罗沃市。他说，如果年终考核没有真正体现出你的出色之处，不要保持沉默。

    即使最善意的领导在提交工作报告前也可能因为过度繁忙而忽略你的工作成绩。或者，他们可能因为某个问题责怪你，但出现这个问题确有理由，而且这个问题可以得到补救。

    格雷尼说：“沉默不语的风险可能比有话直说还大。”

    他指出，如果人事档案中的考评结果为一般（或者更差），那就可能不公正地妨碍你在今后的工作中得到更好的机会。因此，“你需要冷静地说明”，你认为哪些评价或批评并不公允。

    同时，你要请上司详细说明他（她）对你有什么样的要求。格雷尼说，要设法弄清楚上司如何定义出色地完成工作，还要准备好多听少说。

    他还建议：“你要请对方更频繁地提供反馈，甚至可以每周一次。这样你就可以在需要的时候作出调整，而且这种调整要远早于你的下次正式考核。”

“有人正在做可疑（或者非法）的事”

    但愿你永远不会碰上伯纳德•麦道夫这样的上司。但如果你发现自己的公司里出现了不端行为，你能做些什么呢？对老板守口如瓶有可能让你背上和坏人串通一气的罪名，检举揭发则可能让别人认为你“不可共事”，这个标签同样可怕。

    格雷尼说，幸运的是，你可以在不影响自己工作的情况下发出警告，但你需要像外交官那样行事。

    格雷尼建议：“首先你要说明自己是出于善意，同时强调你考虑的是老板的最佳利益。然后解释一下，你认为如果这样的行为继续下去会产生什么样的不利影响。”毕竟，人们都知道蒙蔽客户、欺骗投资者以及其他不诚信的行为能毁掉一家公司，进而造成数千人瞬间失业。大家应该还记得安然（Enron）事件吧？  

'I want a raise'

    Before asking for a raise -- even if you need and deserve it -- it's easy to let self-doubt take over: What if your boss doesn't think you're worth the extra money? What if your boss hasn't had a pay bump for a while, either, and labels you a complainer?

    Lobbying for a better salary or perks shouldn't jeopardize your career, though, if you do it the right way -- especially if you're a valued employee, says Joseph Grenny, who wrote the bestselling Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High.

    The key to getting what you want? Stick to the facts, Grenny advises.

    "First, research salary data online to find out what other people get paid for jobs like yours in your geographic area," he says. "Then, be ready to give solid evidence for why your performance merits more money."

    Whatever you do, don't say you need more money for personal reasons (no matter how urgent), says Grenny.

    To make it easier to sell the idea to higher-ups, "you want your boss to see this as an informed business decision, not a charitable contribution," he says.

'My performance review was unfair'

    If your annual review didn't reflect your true wonderfulness, don't stew in silence, says Joseph Grenny, an executive coach at VitalSmarts, a leadership development firm in Provo, Utah.

    Even the best-intentioned leaders are so overworked in these lean times that your achievements may sometimes slip past them. Or they may blame you for a problem when there are other, fixable reasons why it's occurring.

    "Saying nothing may be a bigger risk than speaking up," says Grenny.

    Since a so-so (or worse) appraisal in your HR file could unfairly block you from bigger career opportunities down the road, "you need to calmly set the record straight" about specific comments or complaints you believe are inaccurate, says Grenny.

    Also ask your boss to go into detail about what he or she needs from you. Try to get insights into how this manager defines a job well done, says Grenny, and be prepared to do more listening than talking.

    Grenny also advises: "Ask for more frequent feedback -- maybe even once a week -- so you can make course corrections if needed, long before your next formal evaluation."

'Something shady (or illegal) is going on'

    Let's hope you never work for a Bernie Madoff type. But if you discover bad deeds are happening in your company, what can you do? Say nothing to your boss, and you risk seeming complicit in the wrongdoing. Speak up and you could earn that dreaded label, "not a team player."

    Luckily, you can be a whistleblower without blowing your career, says Grenny. You'll need to be diplomatic, though.

    "Start the conversation by sharing your good intentions and stressing that you have the boss's best interest in mind," Grenny suggests. "Explain the negative consequences you think will follow if the behavior continues." After all, bilking customers, deceiving investors, and other dodgy practices have been known to destroy companies, taking thousands of careers straight down the tubes. Remember Enron?