救命！老板快把我逼疯了！

    亲爱的安妮：我们过去的工作团队非常融洽，但后来我们的老板换成了一个从另一公司挖来的经理，他总是想控制我们的每一个行动。他老是坚持详细地告诉每个人该做什么、应当怎样做（尽管我们多年来在自己的岗位做得都很好）。哪怕再小的细节也逃不脱他的仔细检查，而且他还不断颁发新的规则指南，有些规则自相矛盾。

    因此，有些同事就干脆采取消极进攻的方法，故意惹恼他，这就意味着，他对整个团队施加的压力更大。我可以举几个让你毛骨悚然的例子，但重点是，目前的情况快把我们给逼疯了。我们可以采取什么措施来改变他的行为吗？又或者我们只能咬咬牙，坚持到下一位老板上任？——咬牙切齿（Gritting My Teeth）。

    亲爱的GMT：呃，控制狂的老板。我们可能都曾遇到过这样的老板。艾伯特•J.伯恩斯坦(Albert J.Bernstein)博士(www.albernstein.com)从事临床心理学已有35年，最近出版了一本非常不错的新书，名为《我是办公室里唯一的正常人？——101个妙招攻克办公室心理病》（Am I The Only Sane One Working Here?: 101 Solutions for Surviving Office Insanity）（麦克劳希尔出版社（McGraw-Hill），16.95美元）。他说：“控制欲过强的领导是让员工造反的主要管理人类型之一。”

    向伯恩斯坦进行咨询的客户很大部分来自高管层，下属员工要求他们撤换控制狂，这些高管完全不知该相信哪一方。所以他们把伯恩斯坦叫来帮忙想办法。伯恩斯坦说：“即使是最差劲的微观管理者通常也意识不到自己有点控制过度。他们还以为自己控制的程度刚刚好。”

    造成这种错觉的原因是什么呢？伯恩斯坦说：“这是因为他们都非常害怕。他们害怕犯错误，也害怕其他人的错误会为自己带来坏影响。所以，自觉或不自觉地，他们都这样认为：如果我不能控制到每一件小事，就肯定会出什么乱子。”

    伯恩斯坦说，认知这种恐惧情绪是问题的关键。他建议你和你的同事们可以尝试以下措施：

    1. 不要显露出你的不快。伯恩斯坦说：“把某人叫做控制狂，或者他一靠近你就明显地表现出恼火，只会让他觉得他要对你更加小心提防。”

    而且决不要以为通过交流，就能把问题解决：“永远不要以为可以通过谈话交流，就能让一位微观管理者改变他的管理方式。即使是经验丰富的心理治疗专家，要想让患有控制癖的人相信他们的行为可能会适得其反，带来更多的麻烦，也会遇到问题。”

    Dear Annie:We used to have a great team here, until our boss was replaced by a manager brought in from another part of the company who is now trying to control our every move. He insists on telling everyone what to do and how to do it in minute detail (even though we've all been excelling at our jobs for years). No detail is too ridiculously tiny to escape his scrutiny, and he's constantly issuing new rules and guidelines, some of which contradict each other.

    As a result, some of us are just taking the passive-aggressive approach and ignoring him, which means he bears down harder on the whole group. I could give you examples that would curl your hair, but the point is, it's driving us nuts. Is there anything we can do to change his behavior, or do we just grin and bear it until the next boss comes along?-Gritting My Teeth

    Dear GMT:Ah, the control-freak boss. We've all had one, at one time or other. "Overly controlling managers are one of the main types who make employees rebel," says Albert J. Bernstein, Ph.D. (www.albernstein.com), a clinical psychologist for 35 years and author of a terrific new book called Am I The Only Sane One Working Here?: 101 Solutions for Surviving Office Insanity (McGraw-Hill, $16.95).

    A big chunk of Bernstein's consulting practice comes from senior managers, urged by teams like yours to get rid of a control freak, who just don't know whom to believe. So they call Bernstein in to sort out the situation. "Even the worst micromanagers usually don't realize they're overly controlling," he says. "They think they're just controlling enough."

    The cause of their delusion? "These are very frightened people. They are terrified of making a mistake, or of having someone else's mistake reflect badly on them," says Bernstein. "Consciously or not, how they view the world is, 'If I don't control every little thing, something terrible is going to happen.' "

    Recognizing that fear is the key to taming it, Bernstein says. He recommends that you and your colleagues try these steps:

    1. Don't let your annoyance show."Calling someone a control freak, or getting visibly irritated when he leans on you, will only make him think he needs to keep an even closer eye on you," Bernstein says.

    And don't even think about trying to discuss the problem: "Forget trying to talk a micromanager out of being one. Even seasoned therapists have trouble convincing the control-obsessed that their behavior might be causing more problems than it's solving."