怎样把差评变成进步的阶梯

    没有人会喜欢负面的反馈。不管口头上自称有多么愿意接受的诚恳批评，它们还是会刺痛人心。

    但每年这个时候，也就是人人下决心提高自己的时候，或者也可能正是接受绩效评估的时候，我们更有可能遇到负面的反馈。大家不要把负面反馈当作暴饮暴食或采取“购物疗法”的借口，而是要把它看作一次改变的机会。

    乔治•布拉特说：“没有人会喜欢负面的反馈。他们会对提供反馈的人产生糟糕的印象，排斥对方和他们的意见。”乔治•布拉特是一位高管教练，还著有《新官上任》（First-Time Leader）一书。他认为反馈对个人的提高至关重要。

    收到负面反馈的环境决定了我们的反应方式。人们在与上司一对一绩效评估中听到负面反馈时的反应和听到顾问360度绩效评估结果时的反应截然不同。

    要将负面反馈转变成积极的措施，第一步是认真倾听，理解对方所说的话。从批评中找出真相。提出跟进问题，深入探讨具体的案例，确保自己完全理解了出现问题的各种情景情形。然后，考虑一下下面三个途径，看看是否有适合自己的办法。

提高自身的表现

    有时候，听到负面反馈、经过自我反省之后，你会意识到自己确实工作效率不高，或者说并没有尽到全力。这个问题的解决办法就是下定决心提高自己的绩效，做出某些改变，并在问题解决之后虚心询问批评者的意见。

    德州奥斯丁数字营销公司T3的首席执行官兼创始人盖伊•加迪斯说：“我们有时候会收到客户或员工的负面反馈。我的应对方式是直接面对。但你首先要接受挫折，不要试图跟对方辩论。要知道，行动比语言更有说服力。”

    听到批评之后，加迪斯会“加倍努力”，在下一个项目中给出最出色的表现。你必须让挑刺的人相信，你已经做出了改变，或者他们从一开始就搞错了。

深化关系

    负面反馈可能是一个很好的机会，可以用来改善、加深与批评者的工作关系。面对提出批评的人，我们的本能的反应可能是避开他们，但你也可以把它看作新的开始，与对方建立更牢固的关系。

    纽约高管教练米歇尔•弗雷德曼的一位客户就收到过负面反馈。她的360度绩效评估所收到的负面反馈令她感到震惊，这些意见指责她在最终期限快要来临的时候变得非常苛刻，给同事带来了巨大的压力。这位客户从来没有认真考虑过自己的优点和缺点，所以，这样的反馈令她措手不及。弗雷德曼建议她保持亲切；毕竟，参加评估的人全部由她自己指定，而且大家在评估过程中也付出了时间、精力和思考。

    Nobody likes negative feedback. No matter how much you claim to want an honest critique, it stings.

    But this time of year -- when we're resolving to improve ourselves and perhaps undergoing performance reviews -- we're more likely than ever to encounter negative feedback. Instead of viewing it as an excuse to binge eat or resort to retail therapy, see it as an opportunity to change.

    "No one likes negative feedback. It makes them think less of the person giving the feedback and leads to them rejecting the person and the feedback," says George Bradt, an executive coach and author of First-Time Leader, noting that feedback is critical to any improvement.

    The context in which you receive negative feedback shapes your response. You'll act differently during a one-on-one performance evaluation from your boss as opposed to hearing the results of a 360-degree review from a consultant.

    The first step in turning negative feedback into a positive step is to listen carefully and understand what's being said. Look for the truth in the criticism. Ask follow-up questions and dive into specific examples to make sure you have a firm handle on the scenarios in which there's been a problem. Then, consider whether one of these paths is the right one for you.

Up your game

    Sometimes you hear negative feedback and -- after some soul searching -- you realize that, in fact, you've been working inefficiently or haven't been at the top of your game. The solution to that problem is to resolve to improve your performance, make some changes, and follow up with the critic once you've turned the issue around.

    "We get negative feedback sometimes from clients or staff. My way of handling that is to hit it head on. You take your licking and don't try to argue with people," says Gay Gaddis, chief executive and founder of T3, an Austin, Texas-based digital agency. "Actions are a lot more convincing than words."

    After criticism, Gaddis will "double down" and seek to do the best job possible on the next project. You've got to convince the faultfinder that you've changed or that they were mistaken in the first place.

Deepen the relationship

    Negative feedback may be an opportunity to improve and deepen your work relationship with the critic. Our natural impulse may be to withdraw from someone who is critical, but you might consider it a fresh start and build a stronger connection.

    One client of Michelle Friedman, a New York-based executive coach, was shocked by the negative responses to her 360-degree review, which faulted her for being demanding and pressuring colleagues around deadlines. The client had never thought seriously about her strengths and weaknesses, so she was unprepared for the blowback. Friedman advised her to be gracious; after all, she herself had nominated the individuals who devoted time, energy, and thought to the review process.