办公室有人哭了，如何应对？
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众所周知，职场可不是适合放声大哭的地方。但这种事有时候难免发生。你的愤怒或沮丧会变成泪水夺眶而出。或者有同事会突然闯进来，趴在你的办公桌上啜泣不已。 不论是自己流泪，还是看到别人流泪，面对这种意外情况，你该如何应对？ 人们为什么会在工作中哭泣？ 首先，我们需要找出人们在办公室哭泣的原因。有时候，激烈的争论或冲突会导致一方因为愤怒或沮丧而流泪。在面对压力或感觉无能为力的时候，哭泣或许是一种很好的减压方式。或许，你只是因为个人的困难或生活中的损失而感到伤心。 有时候，我们会因为别人颇具同情心的表情或倾听而忍不住流下泪水。华盛顿特区律师猎头公司Garrison & Sisson的合伙人丹•宾斯托克就曾遇到过这种情况。宾斯托克为一个新工作岗位招聘的律师来到他的办公室。这位律师此前刚刚通知现在律所的合伙人他要离开，并为此深感内疚。不一会儿，那个人便哭了起来。 宾斯托克回忆道：“看得出来，他经历过一番折磨。这种令大家失望的感觉和其他人对他的反应，深深影响着他。当时他已经极度敏感，因为要跳槽而面临巨大的压力，这种情绪令他精疲力竭。” 几年前，盛德国际律师事务所（Sidley Austin）投资管理业务部的全球联席主管劳林•布鲁门塔尔•克莱曼，收到一个糟糕的通知：她第二个儿子就读的学校拒绝在秋天继续给他提供上学机会。儿子的特殊需求让她很难找到合适的学校，而且当时再去找其他学校已经为时已晚。克莱曼回忆道：“我们本来认为他会在那里取得成功，根本没有备选方案，结果却被抛弃。” 于是，她找老板请假，去解决孩子的择校问题和一些必须参加的会议。她说道：“他看起来非常关心我的事，所以我禁不住哭了起来。” 如何应对泪水 加州大学哈斯汀法学院（University of California Hastings School of Law）教授乔安•威廉姆斯建议，如果你因为工作问题导致的沮丧而哭泣，不要忽视这种情况。相反，要说出来：“我之所以在哭泣，是因为我很生气。这就是我真正愤怒时候的样子。” 如果可以的话，把问题摆在桌面上进行讨论。如果做不到，也不必道歉，但威廉姆斯表示，要告诉对方：“下面我们先中断讨论吧，因为我发现情况有些麻烦。如果我做好了继续谈话的准备，我会告诉大家。” 关键是要承认导致自己情绪爆发的情感或环境，但没有必要道歉。宾斯托克表示：“如果你开始道歉，对方会感觉不舒服，这样会让两个人都难受。”事实上，如果你是因为对方的同情反应而哭泣，“更没有理由因为有人让你宣泄自己的情绪而向对方表示歉意。” |
We all know the workplace isn’t the best place to cry. But sometimes it just happens. Your anger or frustration boils over into tears. Or perhaps a co-worker bursts in and sobs at your desk. Whether you’re on the giving or receiving end of unexpected waterworks, how do you handle this situation? Why people cry at work First, let’s address why people might cry in the office. Sometimes a heated argument or conflict will push one party to the point of tears, from anger or frustration. Or the sobs could come as a welcome release of tension from stress or feeling powerless. Maybe you’re simply sad because of a personal struggle or a loss in your life. Often, the tears bubble to the surface because someone gives a sympathetic look or ear. That’s what happened to Dan Binstock, a partner at attorney search firm Garrison & Sisson in Washington D.C. A lawyer whom Binstock had recruited to a new job came into the office after giving notice to his current partners and being subjected to a guilt trip for leaving them. In just a few minutes, the man started crying. “I could tell he had been through the wringer,” Binstock recalls. “It was that feeling of disappointing everyone and how they were manipulating him. It wore him out at a time when he was already extremely sensitive and had a lot of stress from moving his practice.” Some years ago, Laurin Blumenthal Kleiman, global co-head of Sidley Austin’s investment management practice, received the unwelcome news that her middle son’s school wouldn’t offer him a place in the fall. Her son’s special needs had made finding the right educational fit a challenge in the first place, and it was a time of year when it was too late to find another school placement easily. “He was being tossed from the one environment where we thought he could succeed and there was no alternative,” Kleiman recalls. She approached her boss to ask for time away from work so she could manage the school search and mandatory meetings. “He looked so concerned that I just started weeping,” she says. How to respond to tears If you’re crying because of frustration with a work issue, don’t ignore the situation, advises Joan Williams, professor at the University of California Hastings School of Law. Instead, say, “When I’m crying, it’s because I’m pissed. This is what it looks like when I am really outraged.” Continue speaking about the issue on the table if you physically can. If not, don’t apologize, but say, “now we’re going to discontinue this discussion because I find what happened just that troubling. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to continue this conversation,” Williams says. The key is to acknowledge the emotion or the circumstances that led to your outburst, but don’t apologize for it. “When you start apologizing, it takes one person’s discomfort and makes two people uncomfortable,” Binstock says. Indeed, if you’re crying because of a sympathetic response, “there’s no reason to apologize that you feel comfortable enough with someone to let your emotions out.” |
