不伤感情，10种拒绝别人的方式

    本文为与《创业者》杂志的合作内容。下文最初发表于Entrepreneur.com网站。

    我认识的每一位创业者，都说自己在一天中找不到足够的时间去做自己想做的事情，但他们经常会答应新的请求。或许这是因为他们天生就是乐观主义者，或许是因为他们不愿意让别人失望，但最终的结果是，他们无法实现自己做出的每一个承诺，进而损害了自己的健康、信誉和效力。

    除了过于频繁地说“是”之外，在压力之下，有些创业者也会以非常糟糕的方式说“不”，他们可能会攻击请求者，或是避免明确的回应。而这两种方式经常是火上浇油，往往会造成负罪感或者随后的妥协。

    成功的创业者必须对自己的所有承诺负责，管理对实现承诺的预期。笔者多年来从强有力的领导者那里学到了下面这些经验，或许能帮助你在拒绝他人的时候，不会伤害当前的商业关系或未来的机会：

    1. 设定让所有人都知晓的界限，并坚决执行

    让相关人士清楚你需要优先解决的事情和界限。在何时有空或哪些请求可以接受等问题上，不要总是破坏你自己设定的规矩。你必须言行一致，如果你内心想拒绝，就不要说“是”。

    2. 先查看日程表，再给明确答复

    在给出回答之前查看一下日程安排或与其他负责人进行沟通，是可以接受的商业行为。不要马上同意你无法做到的事情，也不要当场拒绝，因为这可能破坏双方的关系。无论如何，务必承诺一个给出最终决定的日期或时间。

    3. 相信你的第一直觉

    要意识到，你的大脑和身体所记下的信息，通常比乐观的情绪反应，或者在辛苦工作一天之后所做的负面情绪反应更加准确。在做出任何回答之前，深呼吸，清除大脑中的外部干扰，分析你的直觉反应。

    4. 向值得信任的同事说出两种选择的利弊

    大声说出自己的考虑，可以保证你能全面了解接受和拒绝请求的影响。接受请求将增加你的工作量，而拒绝可能让你未来的机会变成泡影。说出自己的顾虑，也可以为你赢得缓冲时间。

    This story is in partnership with Entrepeneur. This post was originally published at Entrepreneur.com

    Every entrepreneur I know can’t find enough hours in a day to do the good things they want, and yet they often find themselves saying yes to new requests. Perhaps because they are optimists by nature, or they just hate to disappoint others, they end up hurting their health, credibility and effectiveness by not being able to deliver on everything they promise.

    In addition to saying yes too often, some entrepreneurs under pressure say no poorly, by attacking the requestor or by avoiding any definitive response. Either of these approaches always make a difficult situation worse, often leading to guilt or a later accommodation.

    A successful entrepreneur must be accountable for all commitments, and manage expectations to make this possible. So here are some tips I have learned over the years from strong leaders that can help you say no without damaging current business relationships or future opportunities:

    1. Establish boundaries and honor them for all to see

    Let your constituents know your priorities and limits. Don’t continually break your own rules about when you are available or what requests are acceptable. Your actions must match your words, so don’t say yes when you mean no.

    2. Ask for time to check your calendar

    It’s an acceptable business practice to review your schedule or converse with other principals before committing to an answer. Don’t respond with a quick yes that you can’t deliver, or a quick no that will ruin a relationship. In all cases, it’s important to commit to a date or time for a final yes or no.

    3. Give credence to your initial instinct

    Recognize that your brain and your body often register information that is more accurate than an optimistic emotional reaction, or a negative reaction after a long hard day. Take a deep breath, clear your mind of any external distractions, and analyze your gut reaction before providing any answer.

    4. Voice both the pros and cons to a trusted cohort

    Speaking the considerations out loud will help you make sure you understand the full implications of either a yes or a no answer. Every yes answer increases your workload, and every no answer may cut off an opportunity you need down the road. Talking it out also buys you time.