改变习惯的秘密

    夏天来了。到目前为止，你可能已经放弃了自己的新年计划，或者是成功地将其融入到日常工作和生活之中。

    如果是前者，那么你就非常幸运。现在正是培养新习惯，改掉旧习惯的绝佳时机。原因在于，改变习惯的重要因素与季节无关。此外，未能成功改变习惯的过往经历，也可以让你获得关键信息，确保下一次尝试取得成功。

    开始改变之前，首先要经历社会科学家们所称的“懵懂期”，即认真思考当前状况的利弊，你为什么坚持当前的坏习惯，改变能够带来哪些好处。这种思考可以帮助你发现可能阻碍你改变的因素。

    著有《心灵健身房：求异思维为你带来更多》（Mind-Gym: Achieve More by Thinking Differently）一书的纽约作家塞巴斯蒂安•贝利表示：“人们之所以失败，往往是由于他们直接进入‘深思阶段’——反思自己的个人信念和能力，开始想：‘我可以做这个，我可以换工作，我可以更新简历。’但他们并没有充分认识现状，以及继续当前行为的后果。”

    如果你在下定决心做出改变时，有足够的时间进行规划，而不是在每年一月一日这个最终期限的驱使下，冲动地做出决定，你便可以为将来可能遇到的障碍做出更充分的准备。假如你决定在工作时远离Facebook，只要你知道有哪些问题会妨碍你实现这个目标，你就可以精心制定一个计划，在未来避开这些问题。这便是改变习惯的第三个阶段，即贝利所说的“准备阶段”。

    在《习惯的力量》（The Power of Habit）一书中，记者查尔斯•杜希格将习惯解释为一组提示我们按某种方式行事的触发点或信号，以及一种让我们通过坚持这种习惯最终获得回报的惯例。如果我们有吃下午点心的习惯，信号可能是看到同事去自助餐厅，随后便形成了与他一起吃意式脆饼和咖啡的惯例，我们得到的回报是咖啡因和甜味刺激。

    一旦形成了某种习惯，我们便无法清除与这种习惯相关的大脑神经通路；我们只能通过培养新的习惯取而代之。重要的是仔细审查你的习惯，了解这种习惯背后的动机；例如，你真的喜欢糖果和咖啡因带来的刺激吗？或者，你只是希望在下午短暂的休息时间拓展人脉？这种思考可以为你的改变提供有力的工具。

    如果你在上班无聊的时候习惯查看微博，可以尝试做几个俯卧撑、散步、与同事聊天、阅读一些期刊文章，或玩填字游戏，来代替这种习惯。只要这种活动能够分散你对微博的注意力，它便可以最有效的解决对社交媒体上瘾的问题。杜希格表示，有效的活动是可以夹在信号与回报之间的最佳新惯例。

    在开始改变一种习惯之前，贝利建议拿出时间，完成“懵懂期”、“沉思期”和“准备期”这三个阶段。认真想想自己需要做出什么样的改变。你可能会发现，更小幅度的变化或许才是最佳选择。贝利回忆称，有一位女士迫切想在另外一家公司找到一份工作，但当她开始挖掘这种想法背后的动机时，她意识到自己只是对目前的职位感到厌烦。如果她在一家不同公司找一份类似的工作，她还是不会高兴。因此，这位女士进行了一次横向调动，获得了更高的工作满意度，既没有遭受职业空白期，也没有给雇主造成破坏性变化。

    你需要激发自身的情绪，找出迫使你做出改变的最强烈的动机。在办公室墙上的视觉提醒，可以帮助你坚持自己的目标。要想方设法让自己相信，你可以改变。

    贝利说道：“要改变个人行为，你必须了解问题和与之相关的情绪。如果人们对问题的感受足够强烈，他们就会想办法去解决它。”

    It’s summer. By now, you’ve either broken your New Year’s resolutions or successfully integrated them into your routines.

    If you’re in the former group, you’re in luck. This is actually a terrific time to create new habits or to shed old ones. That’s because the important elements of habit change aren’t tied to a season. Moreover, the experience of failing to change can actually give you crucial information that will ensure victory the next time around.

    For one, it’s important to begin the change process with what social scientists call “pre-contemplation,” or really thinking through the pros and cons of your current situation, what is keeping you in the bad habit, and what would be the benefit of changing. Such thinking helps make you aware of factors that might hold you back.

    “People tend to fail because they start directly in the contemplating phase—they rethink their personal beliefs, capabilities, they start thinking, ‘I can do this, I can change jobs, I can update my resume.’ But what they haven’t done is become fully aware of the current situation and the consequences of continuing with what you’re doing,” says Sebastian Bailey, New York-area author of Mind-Gym: Achieve More by Thinking Differently.

    Indeed, if you resolve to change your behavior at a time of year when you have time to plan—as opposed to when the Jan. 1 deadline encourages you to impulsively make resolutions—you’ll be better prepared to handle bumps in the road. When you know what made you falter in your resolve to stay off Facebook at work, for instance, you can craft a plan to sidestep that problem in the future. This is part of the third stage of habit change, which is preparation, according to Bailey.

    In The Power of Habit, journalist Charles Duhigg explains habits as a combination of a trigger or cue that prompts us to act in a certain way, followed by a routine that culminates in a reward we receive from engaging in that habit. For example, if we have a habit of eating an afternoon snack, the cue may be seeing a colleague headed for the cafeteria, followed by the routine of joining him for biscotti and coffee, which give us the reward of a caffeine and sugar rush.

    Once a habit has been established, the neural pathways in our brain associated with that habit cannot be eliminated; we can only form new ones by replacing the habit with a new routine. It’s important to examine your habits to understand what your motivation is; for instance, do you actually like that sugar and caffeine jolt? Or are you seeking social connection during the afternoon lull? That insight will give you the tools to change your habits.

    If you have a habit of checking Twitter when you’re bored at work, try instead to do a quick set of pushups, go for a walk, chat with a neighbor, read a stack of piled-up journal articles, or do a crossword puzzle. Whichever of these activities helps distract you from Twitter is most closely addressing the need you’re trying to meet with a social media fix. The winning activity is the best candidate for a new routine that can be sandwiched between the cue and the reward, according to Duhigg.

    Before you leap into habit change, Bailey recommends taking your time in the pre-contemplation, contemplation, and preparation stages. Think through what you need to do differently. You may discover that a smaller change is best. Bailey says he remembers a woman who was dying to find a job t another company, but when she started to explore her motivations, she realized she was simply bored with her role. If she took a similar job with a different employer, she would likely be just as dissatisfied. Instead, that woman made a lateral move and found greater job satisfaction without losing tenure or making a disruptive change of employer.

    You need to arouse your emotions and connect to the strongest motivation you have to change. Perhaps a visual reminder on your office wall will help you stick to your goal. Find a way to believe that you can change.

    “For personal change, it’s about understanding the problem and understanding the emotions around it. If people feel the problem strongly enough, they’ll do anything to solve it,” Bailey says.