升职失败意味着你该辞职吗？

    领导力内部网络是一个在线社区，最有思想、最具影响力的商界人士将在此回答关于职业与领导力的问题。今天我们的问题是：如果错过了一次升职，接下来应该怎么办？以下为Axonify公司CEO卡洛尔·利曼的回答。

    没有比错过一次升职更令人失望的事情了。遭遇这种事，人们必定会感觉自己受到了伤害，还会产生许多其他情绪，诸如失望、屈辱、愤怒和怨恨等。

    等到你获悉这个坏消息时，你可能已经连续几周激动地展望如何在新职位上大展拳脚，得意洋洋地准备迎接更高的关注度和更多的责任。突然之间，晴天一声霹雳！公司短短的一句话让你不知所措：“我非常抱歉，你没能获得升职。”你马上开始拿自己与得到升职的那个人进行对比，想弄清楚“他们有哪些我不具备的条件？”

    我管理员工已有些年头，坦白说，一个人得不到升职会有无数个理由。比如基本经验，个性/领导素质，以及公司有大批优秀的候选人可供选择等等。所以，如果你面临这样的情况，我能给你的最好建议是：不要纠结于自己没有得到升职的原因。即便公司的理由非常充分，你也很难超然地看待这些理由。因为你根本做不到。相反，你应该马上做下面几件事，当下一次机会来临时，增加自己成功的机会：

    深呼吸

    如果可能的话，请一天假为自己减压。允许自己在私底下感受那些糟糕的情绪，但要抵挡住意气用事的诱惑，不要跟其他员工说一些没用的废话。因为你这样的表现，会令其他同事处在一种非常不舒服的境地，并且进一步证明作为一名潜在领导者，你无法应对失败。而这些都无助于你获得下一个升职机会。

    和上司谈谈

    在最失望的时刻过去之后，问问你的上司：如果我想提高未来成功的机会，你认为我需要在哪两个方面努力改进？然后真正努力在上司建议的领域做出改变。一定要让你的上司知道，你并不想听到一些无关痛痒的建议——你想要的是真相。不要争论为什么你认为自己已经达到了他们的标准或者遵从了他们的建议；你要做的就是倾听。

    要有风度

    没有什么比真心祝贺得到升职的人，更能体现一个人的领导力和成熟度。对方理所当然地会担心未来如何处理与你的关系。直接向他或她表明，你会像以前一样敬业和乐于助人。如果你有这样的态度，他们对你的感激将超乎你的想象，而且在下一次机会来临时，他们会成为你最强有力的支持者。

    用长远的眼光看待问题

    生活中的挑战和失望，就是为了帮助我们成长。想想过去几年发生在你身上的各种糟糕事，以及你是如何克服它们的，并从中总结出生活经验。其中大多数可能都发生在遥远的过去，你甚至已经不记得最初的感觉有多么糟糕。而这一次也只不过是其中一个而已。

    坦诚对待自己

    最后，仔细看看镜子里的自己，扪心自问：我真正做好升职准备了吗？现实是，大多数人并没有做好准备。任何机构里的明星员工（或称为独立贡献者）都会受到所有同事的关注，他们非常受公司器重，备受所有人的尊敬，并且尽管没有头衔和下属，他们依旧展示出优秀的领导力。如果你认为自己可能是其中之一，你可以仔细想想为自己设定其他哪些目标，能让你得到人们的注意，获得更高的薪酬，为你带来巨大的个人满足感。

    不要让错过一次升职变成你生命中一件具有决定性意义的负面事件——未来你还会遇到很多类似状况。你要做的是认清它的本质——这只不过是人生旅途中的一瞬。（财富中文网）

    译者：刘进龙/汪皓

    审校：任文科

    The Leadership Insider network is an online community where the most thoughtful and influential people in business contribute answers to timely questions about careers and leadership. Today’s answer to the question: When you get passed up on a promotion, what’s the next step? is written by Carol Leaman, CEO of Axonify.

    There are few things more disappointing than getting passed over for a promotion. It’s virtually impossible not to feel personally offended and a host of other emotions — disappointment, humiliation, anger and resentment among them.

    By the time you get the bad news, you’ve already spent several weeks feeling excited about what you’d do in the new role and chuffed about additional visibility and responsibility. Then boom! You get the wind knocked out of you in one short sentence: “I’m really sorry, but you didn’t get the job.” You instantly start comparing yourself to the person who did get the promotion, wondering “What did they have that I didn’t?”

    As a person who has managed employees for years, I can truthfully say that there are a million possible reasons for not getting promoted. They range from basic experience, to personality/leadership qualities to having a lot of excellent candidates to choose from. So here’s the best piece of advice I can give if you find yourself in this position: Don’t dwell on the reasons why. Assume the reasons were good and that you simply don’t have the ability to see them from a third party perspective. Because you really don’t. Instead, do the following things immediately to increase your chances of success the next time this opportunity comes around:

    Take a deep breath

    If at all possible take a day off to decompress. Allow yourself to feel those rotten emotions in private, and resist the temptation to act impulsively by trash talking to other employees. You’ll put your co-workers in a really uncomfortable position and reinforce the idea that as a potential leader, you can’t handle failure. None of these things will help you get the promotion the next time around.

    Talk to your manager

    Once you’re over the worst of the disappointment, meet with your manager to ask: If there were two specific things you could suggest that I work on to improve my chances in the future, what would they be? Then really put in the effort to make these changes. Make sure your manager knows you don’t just want to hear the easy stuff — you want the truth. And don’t argue about why you think you already are or do their suggestions; just listen.

    Be gracious

    Nothing says leadership and maturity more than offering genuine congratulations to the person who did get the job. That person will naturally be anxious about their ongoing relationship with you. Show him or her immediately that you are as committed and supportive as ever. They’ll appreciate it more than you know, and become your biggest supporter in your next bid.

    Keep it in perspective

    Challenges and disappointments in life are simply put in our way to help us grow. Think about all the crappy things that have happened to you over the years, and how you got past them having learned a life lesson. Most are in the distant past and you can barely remember how bad you felt. This will be one of them.

    Be honest with yourself

    Finally, take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself: Was I honestly ready of the promotion? The reality is, most people aren’t. Stellar individual contributors in any organization are visible to everyone, incredibly valuable and command respect and demonstrate leadership without titles and direct reports. If you suspect you might be one of them, consider what other goals you can set for yourself that will get you noticed, additional compensation and give you tremendous personal satisfaction.

    Don’t let being passed over for a promotion be a defining negative event in your life. See it for what it is – a moment in time. There will be lots of others.