好妈妈更是好CEO的八大理由

值此妇女节到来之际，我们应该认真讨论一下许多职场女性一直在思考的问题：我们能否拥有一切——成功的职业、完美的婚姻、优秀的孩子，亲密的朋友？我完全理解这个问题，但为什么人们总是会有这样的疑问？看看周围。虽然结婚生子并非成功的绝对先决条件，但多位杰出的女性CEO都已身为人妻，身为人母，比如通用汽车的玛丽·巴拉，百事可乐公司的卢英德、杜邦公司的艾伦·库尔曼、惠普公司的梅格·惠特曼和亿滋国际的艾琳·罗森菲尔德。

所以，在今年的妇女节，我们不想让年轻女性们疯狂地决定能否该同时拥有高管职位和孩子。相反，让我们谈论一些显而易见的事情，这也是笔者自己的经验：作为妈妈（或者爸爸）并不会影响你进步的机会。事实上，你反而会从中受益。

以下是我作为一名母亲学到的八条经验。这些经验帮助我变成更好的同事和上司。

谈判无处不在。

作为一名母亲，我学会了在面对任何人和任何事情的时候，如何成为更出色的谈判者。我每天都在利用这些技能，无论是为公司赢得有利的合同条款，还是让11岁的女儿穿裙子去教堂（这是今年的事情——但只是因为她要搭配自己最喜欢的亮粉色Dr. Marten靴子）。

你不必知道所有问题的答案——问题本身便有巨大的作用。

每天都要面对无止境的问题，让我掌握了好奇心的力量，我将提问和探索变成了一种管理技巧。如果你像我一样经常更换市场和角色，你肯定不可能知道所有问题的答案。

在职业初期，这种情况让我毫无安全感。但经过十多年不间断的“打击”，无论是精通技术的丹麦丈夫询问我的IT需求（我一直都分不清软件与硬件的区别），还是16岁继子提出的嘻哈音乐问题（你真的以为我能告诉他Death Row唱片公司有哪些签约歌手吗？），我已经能坦然接受不知道所有问题的答案这一现实。

即便我对手头任务的直接经验或知识有限，我依旧可以领导团队，增加价值。那么，我是怎么做的？明确自己“知之”和“不知”的领域，然后深入探索。你会惊奇地发现，只要你能提出有见地的问题，你便能发现强大的见解和潜在的议题。

与众不同再好不过，它不是坏事。

作为妈妈，我学会了与众不同是好事。在有孩子之前，我通常会创建“小我”的团队。现在我知道，你挑选的团队成员看待事物的观点，不一定与你完全一样，团队成员应该有互补的（而不是雷同的）能力和性格，这才是更合理的做法。透过别人的眼睛去看世界，就像我经常从孩子们的角度思考问题一样，可以帮助我想出新的想法，更好的解决方案，实现更好的结果。

耐心指导、悉心培养和以身作则，强于说教。

最优秀的领导者（和最好的妈妈）都知道，你不能只是告诉人们应该做什么。你要耐心指导，悉心培养，精心指导，以身作则。最困难的是如何让人们在没有你的情况，完成自己的事情。

在家里，我每年秋天都要面临的最简单但也最艰难的考验之一，是让当时只有9岁的女儿每天自己遛狗。多年来，我一直在告诫她陌生人的危险。我会亲自给她演示，当有人靠近她时应该如何应对。我会不厌其烦地告诉她，不要因为“可爱的小狗”或者“受伤的父母”这些套话而上当受骗。但相信我，每当她蹦蹦跳跳地领着我们家可爱的小狗走出家门，跑到街上，消失在我的视线之外时，我都会忐忑不安。

在工作中，最大的挑战更有可能是如何培养继任者。我基本上也会做同样的事情。我不会只告诉他们应该做什么；我会以身作则。我带他们一起参加会议。我帮助他们进行内容开发——并不是直接参与，而是提出一些建议或问题。我帮助他们练习产品交付。之后，我会让他们自己去CEO或董事会前进行第一次个人展示。这种做法并不痛苦，因为我希望他们获得成功，另外，也是因为这是他们唯一可以真正学习的途径，能够证明他们已经做好独自飞翔的准备。

不要为小事担心

身为母亲，我学会了，要担心或防止每一件事情都不出错，这是不可能的。请相信我，我曾经尝试过！。所以，我现在尽量专注于真正重要的事情，将其他事情放到一边。在家里的规矩是“不能有永久伤害”。所以，对我的女儿来说，染蓝头发是可以接受的，但不能给身体穿孔。而对于我的下属，我关注的是结果，而不是产出过程。只要他们的方法是有效的，并且符合公司的政策与价值观，我就不会强迫他们“按照我的方式去做”。相反，我只关注他们取得了怎样的成果，而不是中间的过程。

没有情商，仅有智商是不够的。

身为人母让我学会了“情商”与“智商”同样重要。我算是个聪明人，但我总是有一种紧迫感，以至于无法与周围的人建立联系。但毫无疑问，我现在更能理解他人。让人们知道，我在他们身上投入了私人的情感，不仅有助于建立更深入的理解，也能培养信任和团队精神。

人际关系很重要。

作为母亲，我学会了长期成功取决于建立关系，但不能仅看关系的数量。我以前总是忙于“把事情做好”，没有真正关注过别人。现在，我知道数量与质量同样重要。人际关系并非可选元素，它是成功的关键。

你不能只想自己。

最后但并非最不重要的一条是，身为母亲让我学会了，领导者不仅要追求职业成功，也要努力实现个人价值。最初，我们很容易忘我地投入到工作之中，从不考虑其他所有事情。我认为，有几年时间能完全专注于工作是好事。但归根结底，我之所以认为身为人母有助于培养出更优秀的CEO，是因为尽管她们对工作有强迫症（相信我，在一定程度上，优秀的CEO都有强迫症），但她们也知道除了做一位CEO，生活中还有其他事情。我给大家讲讲我在卡夫食品公司与艾琳·罗森菲尔德共事6年期间经历的一件事。

在这六年间，我非常敬佩艾琳。我发现她非常聪明，能力突出，勇于承担责任。除此之外，她将卡夫食品拆分成两家独立的上市公司的决定，证明她能够将公司利益置于个人利益之上。将一家公司一分为二，现在已经很常见，但在2011年艾琳决定拆分时，这种做法可谓开创之举。当时，并非每一位CEO都愿意“缩小”公司规模（按照当时流行的“越大越好”的标准，他们更不愿意职业地位受影响），即便这样做是正确的。我想，正是由于她的为人，以及担任卡夫食品CEO并非她的全部生活这个事实，才使得她能够后退一步，问自己：现在怎么做才是正确的——不是我自己，而是为公司？

这种让你全力以赴，并将自我放在一边的能力，或许才是身为人母让我学会的最宝贵的经验。这也是商界领袖最重要的一课，因为领导者最终必须清楚，“他人”比我们自身更加重要。

妈妈们都深知这一点。所以，你可以想象这种能力在管理中的作用。（财富中文网）

本文作者佩里·耶特曼是Perry Yeatman Global Partners LLC 公司CEO，著有《走出去，取得成功》（Get Ahead by Going Abroad）一书。此外，她还在致力于测量社会效益的Mission Measurement公司担任主合伙人兼首席营销官。

译者：刘进龙/汪皓

审校：任文科

As Women’s Day approaches, it’s a good time to take a closer look at a question on the minds of many working women: Can we have it all — great careers, great marriages, great kids, great friends? I fully understand the question but not why we keep asking it. Look around. While it’s not an absolute prerequisite to being successful, all of these very prominent female CEOs – Mary Barra at General Motors , Indra Nooyi at Pepsi , Ellen Kullman at DuPont , Meg Whitman at Hewlett-Packard and Irene Rosenfeld Mondelez – are married and have kids.

So this Women’s Day, instead of making our young women crazy trying to decide if they can possibly have C-suite jobs and kids, let’s celebrate what the evidence – and certainly my own experience – suggests: Being a mom (or a dad for that matter) doesn’t have to hurt your chances of getting ahead. In fact, it can help.

Here are 8 lessons I learned as a mom that have made me a better colleague and boss.

Everything is a negotiation

Being a mom taught me how to be a better negotiator — with anyone and about anything. I use these skills daily – on everything from securing favorable contract terms for my company to getting my 11-year-old daughter to wear a dress to church (it happened this year – but only because she got to pair it with her favorite hot pink Dr. Marten boots).

You don’t have to know all the answers – questions are powerful

Being barraged by endless questions taught me the power of curiosity and to use questioning and probing as a management technique. When you change markets and roles as often as I have, it’s a given that you won’t have all the answers. Early on in my career, that made me feel insecure. But after more than a decade facing a barrage of questions about my IT needs from my tech-savvy Danish husband (I barely know the difference between software and hardware) or inquiries from my then 16-year-old stepson about hip-hop music (do you really think I could enlighten him about people who sing for Death Row Records?), I’ve grown comfortable not knowing all the answers. I can now lead teams and add value even when I have limited direct experience or knowledge of the subject at hand. How? By being clear about what I know and what I don’t know and by probing deeply. You’d be amazed how often you can uncover powerful insights and potential issues just by asking intelligent questions.

Different isn’t bad – it’s better

Motherhood also taught me that different is good. Before I had kids, I often created teams of “mini-MEs.” Now I know that it’s far better to pick people that don’t necessarily see things exactly as I do and have complementary – not identical – skills and temperaments. Looking at the world through other’s eyes, like I do through the eyes of my children, helps me come up with new ideas, better solutions and better results.

Coaching, nurturing and role-modeling get you further than lecturing

The best leaders (and best moms) know that it isn’t just about telling people what to do. It’s a lot more about coaching, nurturing, guiding and role-modeling. And then, toughest of all sometimes, it’s about letting them go do their thing without you. At home, one of the simplest but most difficult tests I faced last Fall was letting my then 9-year-old daughter walk the dog by herself. For years, I’d told her all about stranger danger. I’d role-played with her on what to do if someone approached her. I went into detail about how not to fall for the “cute puppy” or “hurt parent” routine. But trust me when she went bounding out the door, down the street and out of sight with our little white ball of fluff of a dog, my heart was in my throat.

At work, it’s more likely that I’m grooming one of my people to become my successor. There, I basically do the same things. I don’t just tell them what to do; I show them. I take them to meetings with me. I help with their content development – not by doing it but by suggesting edits or asking questions. I help them practice their delivery. I do all this and then I send them in for their first solo presentation to the CEO or the Board. It’s nerve racking, because I want them to succeed, but I do it anyway because it’s the only way they can really learn and prove that they are ready to fly without me.

Don’t sweat the small stuff

Being a mom taught me it’s not physically possible to worry about or prevent every single thing that could go wrong (believe me, I have tried!). So, now I try to remain laser-focused on what really matters and to let the rest go. At home, the rule is “no permanent damage.” (So for my daughter, blue hair is okay…body piercings, not so much.) With my direct reports, it’s about focusing on outcomes, not outputs. As long as their approach is efficient, effective and in keeping with company policies and values, I’ve given up trying to get everybody to “do it my way.” Instead, I look at what they achieve much more than how they achieve it.

IQ without EQ isn’t enough

Having kids taught me that “EQ” (emotional intelligence) is as important as “IQ.” I was always smart, but I was so driven I wasn’t always connecting with my people. Now I am undoubtedly more empathetic to others. And their knowing that I’m personally invested in them helps not only build better understanding but also trust and team spirit.

Relationships matter

Tied to that, having kids taught me that long-term success depends on building relationships, not just hitting your numbers. I used to be too busy “getting it done” to really invest in others. Now I know you must do both. Relationships aren’t optional; they’re critical.

It’s not just about you

Last but certainly not least, being a mom taught me about how important it is for all leaders to not only strive for professional success but personal fulfillment as well. Early on, it’s so easy to get caught up in your career at the expense of everything else. And I think some years fully focused on work are good. But at the end of the day, the reason I think moms make better CEOs is that they realize that as compulsive as they are about their work (and believe me leading CEOs are all compulsive, in the best sense of the word) they also know that there is more to life than being CEO. Let me share one example from my six years (2006-2012) working with Irene Rosenfeld at Kraft Foods.

During those years, I grew to respect Irene tremendously. I found her super smart, highly capable and utterly committed. But even beyond that, her decision to split Kraft Foods into two separate public companies demonstrated that she could put company interests ahead of her own. It’s more common now, but back in 2011 when Irene announced the split, it was almost unheard of. Back then, not every CEO would’ve willingly “shrunk” their company (and by the prevailing “bigger is better” standard of the time, their professional stature) even if it was the right thing to do. But I think that because of who she is as a person and the fact that being the CEO of Kraft Foods wasn’t the only thing in her life (she has a husband, two daughters and many important commitments beyond her “day job”), it was possible for her to step back and ask herself: what’s the right thing to do here – not for me, but for the company?

This ability to give it your all but also put your ego aside is perhaps the most valuable thing motherhood teaches us. It’s also the greatest lesson business leaders can learn because in the end, leaders must understand that it’s not about us, it’s about them.

Moms know this. Think about the power of that in the C-suite.

Perry Yeatman is the CEO of Perry Yeatman Global Partners LLC and author of Get Ahead by Going Abroad. She is also a principal and chief marketing officer of Mission Measurement, a company that measures social outcomes.