Facebook女高管学会享受影响力 

    本周的《纽约客》（New Yorker）刊登了有关谢丽尔•桑德伯格的特写文章。谢丽尔有多个头衔。作为社交网站Facebook的首席运营官，她协助首席执行官马克•扎克伯格将一个初创业务打造成一个盈利可观的企业。现年41岁的桑德伯格还是《财富》杂志年度“最具影响力女性”榜单（Fortune's annual Most Powerful Women list）上一颗迅速升起的新星。桑德伯格曾相继在世界银行（the World Bank）、麦肯锡(McKinsey & Co. )、美国财政部（the U.S. Treasury）、谷歌(GOOG)和Facebook就职。随着她开始与公众分享自己的职业生涯经历，她成为了那些坚信自己能与男性做同样事情的年轻女性心中的最佳榜样。

    但桑德伯格并非总是对自己的影响力感到自如，正如该特写作者肯•奥莱塔在文章中所写道的：

    桑德伯格表示，当《财富》杂志资深主笔帕特里谢•赛勒在2005年邀请她参加该杂志举办的汇集数百女性的年度盛事“最具影响力女性峰会”（Most Powerful Women Summit）时，她的反应是一声惊叹——“啊！”。桑德伯格出席了峰会，但她认为该称号让她觉得难为情，不愿意将此写在她和公司同事共享的网络日历上。她表示，赛乐之后曾责备她过于腼腆。赛乐回忆道：“我告诉她，自我们于1998年开始评选“最具影响力女性”以来，在该榜单上的大部分女性，包括卡莉•菲奥莉娜、梅格•惠特曼和奥普拉•温弗瑞等等，都在起初听闻这个词后都不太适应，但后来都逐渐改变立场，她也应该这样。拥有个人的影响力有什么不好吗？”

    奥莱塔的特写文章的主线是，桑德伯格正学会接受自己的影响力。由于我曾撰写过有关桑德伯格和其他女性领导人的文章，我对这一思路有诸多想法。在桑德伯格告诉奥莱塔有关“啊！”一事后，奥莱塔通过电子邮件询问我是否真的曾“斥责”她不要像个小女孩一样表现扭捏时，我答复如下：

    肯—当我们于1998年推出《财富》杂志的“最具影响力女性”榜单并于随后一年推出“最具影响力女性峰会”时，美国的大部分顶尖商界女性都不愿意被称为“具有影响力”。奥普拉告诉我，她害怕这个词的一部分原因是，她认为宣称自己具有影响力会将她与大众隔离开来。卡莉•菲奥莉娜在榜单推出第一年就登上《财富》封面，当时她还在朗讯(ALU)就职，并且在电信业界之外默默无闻。此后，我每年询问她有关影响力的问题时，她为难得直咬牙。有一次她这样回答我“我的能力是我的优点，但也可能是一个缺点”。

    卡莉很快发现，炫耀自身影响力的女性遭遇的逆反作用可能会十分强烈。当时谢丽尔在谷歌时羞于对大家承认自己的影响力，不愿意将“最具影响力女性”写在共享日历上时，我认为，这是她在对顶尖女性受到的评判比男性更为严苛的现实作出的反应。女性的能力也可能是她们的“缺点”。我认为，像谢丽尔这么具有战略性的人肯定很清楚，她必须在承认自己“具有影响力”之前先证明自己的价值。

    我曾就此事与她联系，并且正如你所言，可能曾“斥责”过她，因为我在当时认为她是一个理想的人选，并且可以成为年轻女性和众多商界女性的良好榜样。我很清晰得记得那个时刻。谢丽尔和我于某天接近傍晚时分在位于第八大道50街的餐厅Thalia首次见面。我们一边喝着苏打水，一边讨论了谷歌的组织结构和盈利模式(她随手在纸上涂写，寥寥数语就对所有问题给出了精辟的解释)。我们还谈到了《财富》的“最具影响力女性峰会”，当时她打算第一次参与这次活动。

    当她告诉我她无法将此事写在日历上，原因是谷歌高级管理人员对同事公开日历，而“具影响力”一词令人反感...甚至可能带来不好的影响时，我觉得十分错愕的和好笑。我告诉她，自我们于1998年开始评选“最具影响力女性”以来，在该榜单上的大部分女性，包括卡莉•菲奥莉娜、梅格•惠特曼和奥普拉•温弗瑞等等，都在起初听闻这个词后都有些心理障碍，但后来逐渐想通了，她也应该这样。假如你以正确的途径使用影响力，那么拥有个人的影响力或是说你具有权力又有什么问题？

    This week's New Yorker includes a profile of Sheryl Sandberg, who is many things. She is the Facebook COO who is helping Mark Zuckerberg turn his startup into a very profitable business. She is, at 41, one of the fastest-rising stars on Fortune's annual Most Powerful Women list. And as she has taken to talking publicly about her career--from the World Bank to McKinsey & Co. to the U.S. Treasury to Google (GOOG) to Facebook--Sanberg has become the top role model for young women who refuse to believe they can't do everything a guy can.

    But Sandberg didn't always take comfort in her clout, as author Ken Auletta writes in the story:

    Sandberg says that she had an "Aha!" moment in 2005, when Pattie Sellers, an editor at large at Fortune, invited her to the magazine's Most Powerful Women Summit, an annual gathering of several hundred women. Sandberg attended, but she thought the title was embarrassing, and refused to list it on the Web-based calendar that she shared with her colleagues. She says that Sellers later chided her for being timid. Sellers recalls, "I told her that most of the women on the Most Powerful Women list—Carly Fiorina, Meg Whitman, Oprah, and many others—had a hangup about the word when we started ranking them in 1998, but they've come around, and she should, too. What's wrong with owning your power?"

    This thread of Auletta's profile--Sandberg learning to embrace her power--is one that I've thought plenty about as I've written about her and other women leaders. After Sandberg told Auletta about that "aha!" moment and he emailed me to ask if I actually did "shame" her to stop acting like a girl, here's what I replied:

    Ken--When we started MPWomen in the magazine in 1998 and the MPW Summit the year after, most all of America's top businesswomen loathed being called "powerful." Oprah told me she feared the word--partly because she thought declaring herself powerful separated her from real people. Carly Fiorina--who we put on the cover of Fortune that first year when she was at Lucent (ALU) and practically unknown outside telecom--gritted her teeth every year after when I asked her about power. One time she answered me this way: "My strength is my strength, but it also can be a weakness."

    The backlash against women who flaunt their power can be fierce, as Carly learned quickly. When Sheryl shied from publicly embracing her power--at Google, by not putting Most Powerful Women on the shared calendar--she was, I think, reacting to that reality that top women are judged more harshly than men. That strength can be a "weakness" for women. As strategic as Sheryl is, I think she knew she had to prove her worth before calling herself powerful.

    I called her on it--and as you say, maybe I "shamed" her--because I saw then that she is the real deal and could be a great role model for young women and businesswomen in general. I so remember this moment. Sheryl and I were meeting for the first time, late afternoon at Thalia, a restaurant at 50th and 8th Ave.. Over sparkling water, we talked about Google's org structure and how it makes money (she brilliantly explained it all, scribbling on scraps of paper) and the Fortune Most Powerful Women Summit, which she was planning to attend for the first time.

    I was stunned and amused when she told me that she can't list the event on the calendar--because Google execs share their calendar and the word "powerful" is a turnoff...maybe even toxic? I told her that most of the women on the MPWomen list--Carly Fiorina, Meg Whitman, Oprah, and many others--had a hangup about the word when we started ranking them in 1998, but they've come around, and she should too: What's wrong with owning your power--saying you're powerful--if you use power in a good way?