如何掌控高压状态下的谈判？

    有时在商务谈判中不得不采取强硬的态度。比如，老板要求你对付一个竞争对手，或者是应付一个难缠的客户。这时，我们必须表现得像一名即将上台的拳手一样，占据主导地位，告诉对方我们绝不会让步。

    然而实际上，专家指出，最佳的谈判者不必表现出强势态度也能获得他们想要的结果。专业谈判者称，强势态度或者愤怒情绪除了对个人健康以及工作场所的氛围产生不利影响之外，还会妨碍人们取得希望看到的谈判结果。

    沃顿商学院（Wharton）教授斯图尔特•戴蒙德称，不管怎样，在谈判中威胁或者责备他人都会对结果起到负面作用。他曾经写过一本有关于谈判的著作《赢得更多》（Getting More）。

    类似自尊心受到伤害这种主观感受也可能会毁了一场谈判。乔治敦大学麦克多诺商学院（Georgetown's McDonough business school）副教授克里斯•沃斯曾经担任过美国联邦调查局（FBI）的绑架谈判代表。沃斯说：“即使一桩交易有很大的甜头，他们也可能会拒绝。如果人们认为自己受到了不公平对待，他们会通过惩罚对方来获得心理上的满足感。”

    无论是否和对方意见一致，最好不要以可能会激怒对方的方式开始协商。戴蒙德称，实际上，谈判的实质内容对谈判的成败几乎不会产生什么影响。比所谈内容更能影响结果的是参与谈判的人，他们的目的、想法以及他们对待彼此的方式。

    理智的谈判者能让对方感觉到自己的话有人倾听，并以此来控制谈判进程。戴蒙德称，有一种很常见的错误想法：那就是，作为谈判者，自己才是最重要的人。恰恰相反，谈判者应该集中精力应对他们试图要说服的那个人。即使对方的目的不切实际，但他们提供的线索常常能够暴露出他们真实的想法。

    戴蒙德说：“我认为好的谈判者能够牢牢把握住那些明显的线索。”人们在高压力谈判中很容易把精力集中在达成自己的目标上，但却忽视了从对方的言行举止中去捕捉有用的线索。

    沃斯称，谈判在某种程度上能够操练情报收集的能力。他在美国联邦调查局的工作经历让他领悟到了这一点。他现在成立了自己的黑天鹅（Black Swan）公司，为企业提供谈判咨询服务。即使在商务谈判中，现场的情况也要比表面上看起来丰富复杂得多。比如，第三方常常会对谈判产生影响。对于公司谈判来说，最重要的是要知道，公司老板或者首席执行官是否会对谈判代表施加影响。对此，可以通过几种方法加以了解。当然，第一个办法就是亲自去问。但如果信息比较敏感，谈判者可以注意他们表述的时候用的是第一人称还是第三人称。当提到特定话题时，他们是否有所反应？通过人们的行为模式来判断还是很有用的。

    沃斯说，如果要关注所有这些额外信息，一个人的精力远远不够用。他补充说：“五名普通的谈判者组成谈判代表团，相互协作，他们的表现会比一名超级谈判专家还要优秀。”

    谈判与你本人或你的情绪无关。采取强硬立场的同时要保持头脑冷静，做到这一点可能会很难，但却很管用。

    译者：李玫晓/汪皓

    Sometimes you have to play hardball in a business negotiation. Say your boss throws you in the ring to settle terms with a competitor or a difficult client. You've got to go into it like a boxer, right? Dominate, show you won't budge.

    Actually, experts say that the best negotiators get what they want without the aggression. Beyond the detrimental effects that aggression or anger can have on personal health and the health of the workplace, professional negotiators say those emotions can get in the way of getting what you want out of a discussion.

    One way or another, threatening or blaming someone during a negotiation will negatively influence the outcome, says Stuart Diamond, Wharton professor and author of a book on negotiation called Getting More.

    Something as subjective as a wounded ego can flub a negotiation. "People will refuse a deal even though it would have actually made them better off," says Chris Voss, an adjunct professor at Georgetown's McDonough business school and former kidnapping negotiator with the FBI. "If people feel like they've been treated unfairly, they actually get psychological satisfaction from punishing the other side."

    So it's best not to start a discussion in a way that would provoke those people, regardless of whether or not you agree with them. In fact, the success or failure of a discussion is hardly influenced by the substance of what's being discussed, says Diamond. Rather, the people involved -- with their goals, their baggage and the way they address each other -- influence a negotiation much more than the content.

    Solid negotiators can control the tenor of a discussion by making sure that the other side feels heard. It's a common misconception that you, the negotiator, are the most important person in the room, according to Diamond. Instead, negotiators should focus their energy on the person they are trying to convince. Even if their goals seem unreasonable, people will often offer up clues on how they are thinking.

    "I kind of believe that really good negotiators have a firm grip on the obvious," Diamond says. In high-pressure situations, it's easy to focus on achieving your own mission, not picking up on hints that you can glean from the other person's speech or behavior.

    Negotiations should serve as a kind of intelligence-gathering exercise, says Voss, who picked that up during his time with the FBI. He now advises businesses on negotiation via his firm Black Swan. Even in a business discussion, much more is happening than it would seem on the surface. For example, third parties often affect discussions. In the corporate world, it's important to know whether bosses or CEOs wield power over the people discussing terms. There are a couple of ways to key in on this; the first, of course, is to ask them. But if the information is sensitive, negotiators can pay attention to whether people speak in first person or third person. Do they react when certain subjects are mentioned? Behavioral patterns can be useful.

    But being open to all of this extra information can require more than one person, says Voss. "If you give me five mediocre negotiators but they work as a team, they can perform better than one superstar," he adds.

    Negotiation isn't about you or your emotions. It may be more difficult, but it pays to keep a cool head while playing hardball.