一位菜鸟老板的经验教训

    “年度老板”并非是我要努力争取的一个奖项。说真的。如果我的团队能安然无恙地度过今年，我一定会兴奋不已。

    去年，我25岁，辞去了在麦肯锡（McKinsey）的分析师工作，创办了面向年轻职业女性的社交网络Levo League，迫不得已走上了管理岗位。我通过读书来缓解作为一名新手的恐慌；我读过大卫•格尔曼的《情商》（Emotional Intelligence），书中讲到了如何在控制自身情绪的同时，影响其他人的情绪。Zappos电商网站CEO谢家华的《传递快乐》（Delivering Happiness），让我产生了建立自己公司文化的念头，我希望公司所有员工能全身心投入工作，为了共同的目标而努力。我把自己的想法付诸实施，结果很快就陷入僵局，在管理方面大放光芒的梦想也被无情击碎。读再多的书也成不了管理大师；只有经验才最重要。经过几个月的反复尝试之后，我终于明确了自己管理上的优先度——比如进行困难但至关重要的对话，提供有用的反馈，以及帮助其他人解决问题等。

    沟通是关键

    最初，我很难接受团队成员挑战我的观点。我本来期望得到建设性的反馈，结果却让我非常不爽。于是我的态度从积极变得易怒：“我没时间”或“我不关心”成了我的口头语。最后，我意识到恼人的问题并不代表对方试图推翻你的领导；源头在于缺乏清楚的沟通。与说出问题相比，避免冲突可能引发更大的问题；最后，我不得不重新考虑自己的沟通策略。

    我认识到透明的重要性。现在，我会写“周日鞭策邮件（SKAE）”，邮件中会列出团队的总体目标，并细分一周内每位员工的责任。团队用于理解工作内容的时间大为减少，于是有了更多创意时间，来开发后续项目。

    反馈也要注意方式

    有一天，我压力满满，可一位员工一直问我该把一张桌子搬到哪儿去。我怒不可遏地回了她一句“我才不管你把那张该死的桌子放在哪儿，”然后继续工作。每当我回想起当时的表现，都会打冷颤。我将自己遇到的挫折发泄到一位完全无辜的团队成员身上。我认识到时间、地点和语调的重要性，尤其是办公室里的员工大都年轻敏感、精力充沛。未来我会如何回应上述问题？把她叫到一旁，然后跟她说：“我非常希望你能接管这件事，自己决定如何摆放办公家具。”每家公司都需要完成这些基础事务。如果处理得当，可以提高下属的自信，这将有助于他们未来承担更大的任务。

    经验丰富的员工可以成为良师

    我的下属中，有几位女士比我大五到七岁。如果她们发现某些方面有问题，通常会以更令人舒服的方式提出来。她们会尽量安排一个时间来讨论问题。她们在其他公司的经验让她们了解到沟通和更有针对性地解决问题的重要性。

    Boss of the Year is not an award I'm vying for. Seriously. I will bethrilled if my team gets through the rest of the year in one piece.

    I left my job as an analyst at McKinsey to start the Levo League last year and, at 25, was thrown into a management position. Books soothed my panic; I poured over David Goleman's Emotional Intelligence, which describes how to influence others' emotions while controlling your own. Zappos CEO Tony Hsieh's Delivering Happiness stirred up fantasies of building a company culture of our own, where employees can bring their whole selves to work and get behind common goals. But putting these ideas into practice stalled, rather quickly, and shattered my dreams of managerial grandeur. Reading 500-some rather educational pages does not make a management guru; nothing compares to experience. My priorities -- having difficult but crucial conversations, giving useful feedback, and helping others solve their problems -- materialized after months of trial and error.

    It's all about talking

    At first, it was tough to have my ideas challenged by team members. What I should have welcomed as constructive feedback instead sent me into a fit. I went from positive to easily irritated: "I don't have time for this" or "I don't care about that" became my go-to responses. I eventually realized pesky questions weren't an attempt at a coup; they stemmed from a lack of clear communication. Evading conflict created much larger issues than talking it out; I was forced to reassess my communication strategy.

    I learned the importance of transparency. I now write Sunday Kick Ass Emails (SKAEs); they outline the team's overall goal and break down each employees' responsibilities for the week. We spend less time trying to understand what needs to get done, freeing up creative time to develop future projects.

    There is such a thing as feedback etiquette

    One stress-filled day, an employee kept asking me where they should move a desk. I bit back, "I don't care where you put the damn desk," and went on with my day. I cringe when I think about that moment. I projected my frustrations on a completely innocent team member. I learned the importance of time, place, and tone -- especially in an office filled with young, energetic, and impressionable employees. My future response? Take her aside and say, "I really want you to take ownership over this and be responsible for deciding where to move the office furniture." Every company has to do these kinds of basic tasks; when handled appropriately, they can give confidence to staffers, which will help them with bigger tasks in the future.

    Experienced employees make great teachers

    I manage several women who are five to seven years older than me. In general, they are much more comfortable with speaking up when they see something going wrong. They push to schedule time to talk through issues. Their experience at other companies has taught them the importance of communication and offensively attacking problems.