专业人士为什么说一套做一套

    卡洛斯•格林在一家大型共同基金公司负责退休规划业务时，同事们都没想到，他的五张信用卡居然共计欠款约40,000美元。

    为了新工作，现年49岁的卡洛斯和他的妻子凯瑟琳搬到了辛辛那提。两人的一些关键决定造成了债台高筑的局面：比如两人根本没有进行预算，便决定凯瑟琳留在家里，照看两个年幼的孩子；再比如买一栋大房子和一辆好车。很快，卡洛斯的预算就开始吃紧。因为油价高企，除了上班和回家之外，他几乎不敢开车出去；家庭娱乐活动也只有晚上在家里看看电影，每到月底都要为如何应付账单而焦头烂额。最糟糕的时候，在下雨天，他不得不用硬纸板来堵住皮鞋上的洞，因为他没钱买新鞋。

    他回忆说：“我的压力太大了，我一直在想：‘既然我从事的是金融服务业，我应该很清楚才对。我本应该有更好的计划。’这样的局面令人难以接受。我感觉沮丧，对自己也很生气。”

    他并非唯一一个不遵从自己的专业建议的人。我们听到过各种各样类似的故事，比如检察官违反法律，宣扬简朴生活的精神领袖却在大肆敛财，猎头公司的CEO居然表现糟糕，而基层护理医生却体重超重，嗜好吸烟等等。但对于这样的事，除了讽刺（道貌岸然的政客嫖妓被抓后，人们甚至会有一点幸灾乐祸）之外，我们是否也能从中借鉴些什么呢？

    首先，重要的是要理解，一个在职业生涯中只遵循一种理念的人，在私人生活中，为什么会沉迷于完全对立的一面。纽约组织心理学家、高管导师本•达特纳表示，人们从诱惑领域中选择一个职业的目的或许是把它作为一种防卫机制，用来保护自己免受内在缺陷的伤害。

    达特纳说：“其中或许还有更深层次的心理原因。吸引你的领域或许也正是你的弱点所在。”

    例如，有强烈反叛倾向的人可能选择宣扬法制的职业来抑制自己的缺点，而一位厌食者可能成为一名喜欢看其他人吃东西的美食家。但一旦面临压力，一个人会倾向屈从于诱使自己做出职业选择的某种被压抑的品质，比如违法或暴饮暴食。

    这些人或许正在努力尝试通过在职场中培养一些策略来弥补自己的弱点，帮助自己对抗缺点。有的人习惯性缺乏条理，却可能成为一名专业的组织者，为自己混乱的生活寻找解决方案。虽然她不可能始终如一地将这些策略应用到自己的生活当中，但她却能很容易理解客户的困难，给他们提供有用的建议。达特纳说：“我们最擅长为别人做的事情，而换成自己的时候，往往就变成了最不擅长的事情。”       

    When Carlos Greene worked in retirement planning for a major mutual fund company, none of his colleagues knew that he was carrying nearly $40,000 on five different credit cards.

    The debt built up quickly after a few key decisions Carlos, now 49, and his wife Katherine made when they moved to Cincinnati for Carlos's new job: deciding Katherine would stay home with their young boys without crunching the budget numbers, then buying a big house and a nice new car. Pretty soon, Carlos was on a strict budget, unable to drive anywhere but work or home because of the cost of gas, limiting family entertainment to movie night at home, and juggling bills at the end of every month to get them all paid. The low point came when he covered the holes in his dress shoes with cardboard when it rained, since he couldn't afford to replace them.

    "It became extremely stressful, and I was thinking, 'I'm in the financial services industry, I should know this. I should have planned this out better,' " he recalls. "It's hard for a man to swallow. I felt so frustrated and upset with myself."

    He's not alone in his failure to follow his own professional advice. We've all heard the stories of prosecuting attorneys who break the law, spiritual leaders who preach modest living while amassing fortunes, headhunting firms with disastrous CEOs, and primary care doctors who are overweight and smoke. But is there a lesson to be learned beyond appreciating the irony (and perhaps a bit of schadenfreude when a moralizing politician is caught with a prostitute)?

    It's first important to understand what may drive a person who built a career following one philosophy to personally indulge in the exact opposite. It could be that he chose a profession in an area of temptation as a defense mechanism in an attempt to protect himself from an inner flaw, says Ben Dattner, an organizational psychologist and executive coach based in New York.

    "There can be deep psychological reasons for that," Dattner says. "The areas that fascinate you can also be your areas of weakness."

    For instance, someone with a strong rebellious streak may choose a law-and-order profession to try to curb that flaw, or an anorectic may become a gourmet cook who enjoys watching others eat. But in times of stress, a person is prone to succumbing to the suppressed trait that led to his career choice, whether breaking the law or binge eating.

    These individuals may be trying to compensate for a weak spot by developing strategies in work life that help combat it. Someone who's chronically disorganized may become a professional organizer to find solutions to her chaos. Even if she can't consistently apply those strategies in her own life, she can easily understand her clients' struggles and give them useful advice. "We're often best at doing for others what we're worst at for ourselves," Dattner says.