恐惧为何能造就更好的领导者

    最近，我们看到许多女性领导者面临严峻的挑战，最终锤炼出更卓越的领导能力。比如，通用汽车（GM）CEO玛丽•巴拉、美联储（U.S. Federal Reserve）主席珍妮特•耶伦、德国总理安吉拉•默克尔和国际货币基金组织（IMF）总裁克里斯蒂娜•拉加德等。这些女性领导的公司、国家和全球金融机构，经历了前所未见的历史性事件。虽然她们看上去沉着而果断，但我猜想，在很多时刻，她们可能感到身处自己的舒适区之外——超越了她们的学习区；处在恐惧的边缘，进入了完全未知的领域。

    但“那些打不倒你的东西会让你更强大”这句话，的确很有道理。逆境会让一个人变得更强大，能够培养出更优秀的领导者。事实上，创新领导力中心（Center for Creative Leadership）的报告显示，超过66%的领导力可以通过接受挑战来培养。虽然你我不可能像通用克莱斯勒（GM Chrysler）或美联储的领导者那样，动辄面对数十亿美元的全球挑战，但我们也会遇到个人和职业上的挑战，同样可以从中学习和培养新的领导能力。

    我自己最近也有过一段让我惊恐失措的经历。在发现自己患有不孕症之后，我经受了一段为期两年的挣扎期。这件事令我震惊，颠覆了我的世界观，更毁掉了我的个人与职业生活。我无法承受这样的挑战；我必须学习新的知识，培养新的技能，承担巨大的风险。对我而言，这是最糟糕但也是最好的一段经历，我可以坦诚地说，经历过此次令人难以置信的挑战之后，我变成了一个更聪明的人、一位更好的领导者。

    在与各位领导者合作期间，我经常用甜甜圈来形容我们生活和学习的方式。甜甜圈洞里面的生活代表我们的舒适区。在这里，生活是安全的、熟悉的、舒适的，可能还有一点无聊。相反，甜甜圈上面的生活则是我们的学习区。我们在这里成长、拓展和尝试。在这里，我们感觉更有活力、受到鼓舞，并保持清醒。大多数领导者都位于学习区，在不断地学习、成长和发展。而在甜甜圈边缘的生活，便是学习区的外边缘。这里便是恐惧边缘，大多数人——即便优秀的领导者——都无法突破这个区域。

    多年来，我一直在培训全世界的领导者如何避免恐惧边缘。我甚至对他们说，凡是有自知之明的人，都会控制自己的生活，让自己始终处在学习区内。而且到目前为止，我也是这么做的。我在学习区内为自己精心设计了精彩的生活和职业，但与不孕症的战斗却将我推到了恐惧边缘。我并非要将自己的挑战，与带领通用汽车解决史上规模最大的汽车召回相提并论，但这些女性领导者恐怕自己也没有想到，她们会面临如此艰巨的挑战。然而，她们还是勇敢地面对这些挑战。只要突破恐惧边缘，你便会产生惊人的灵感、成长和非凡的领导力。

    如何让自己变得更强大？一个词：勇气。心理学家一致认为，勇气，即面对困难时的胆量和决心，是克服障碍、挫折、挑战和逆境的最大因素。有勇气的人更有毅力、决心和积极性。走出舒适区和学习区，突破恐惧边缘之后，勇气将成为在逆境中成功、领导或管理的关键所在。这正是我克服挑战的法宝，而且我可以肯定地说，玛丽•巴拉、珍妮特•耶伦和其他女性领导者肯定也掌握了这个法宝。

    Recently, we’ve seen examples of women leaders facing tremendous challenges and developing even greater leadership skills as a result—think GM CEO Mary Barra, U.S. Federal Reserve Chair Janet Yellen, German Chancellor Angela Merkel, IMF head Christine Lagarde, etc. These women lead companies, countries, and global financial markets through unprecedented historical events. While impressively composed and decisive on the outside, I imagine there were many points at which they felt outside their comfort zone — beyond their learning zone; and on terror’s edge, leading into unchartered territories.

    There’s a lot of truth, however, when they say, ‘what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger.’ Adversity can make us stronger people and better leaders. In fact, the Center for Creative Leadership reports that over 66% of leadership capabilities are forged through challenges. While you and I may never face multi-billion global challenges like the leaders of GMGM 3.62% Chrysler or the Fed, we do face our own personal and professional challenges from which we can learn and forge new leadership skills.

    In my own case, I recently experienced something that took me beyond my terror’s edge. I went through a two-year odyssey with infertility that shook me to my core, rocked my worldview, and disrupted every aspect of my life personally and professionally. I couldn’t just work my way through this challenge; I had to learn new things, develop new skills, and take huge risks. It was both the worst and best experience of my life, and I can honestly say that I am a wiser person and better leader after this incredible challenge. (Click here to watch my TedX talk on Navigating Infertility).

    In my work with leaders, I often use the image of a donut to help describe the way we live and learn. Life inside the donut hole represents our comfort zone. That’s where life is safe, familiar, comfortable, and potentially a little boring. Conversely, life on the donut reflects our learning zone. This is where we grow, stretch and experiment. This is where we feel alive, inspired and awake. This is where most leaders live, constantly learning, growing and developing. Now, life on the edge of the donut is the outer edge of our learning zone. This is terror’s edge, and most people—even good leaders—never get past it.

    For years, I taught leaders around the globe to avoid terror’s edge. I went so far as to say that people who are self-aware can control their lives so that they stay in the learning zone. And up until recently, I had done that myself. I had crafted a pretty amazing life and a pretty wonderful career in my learning zone, but then my battle with infertility pushed me beyond my terror’s edge. I am not comparing my challenge with that of navigating GM through the largest automotive recall in history, but those female leaders probably never imagined they would face the extraordinary challenges they did. But face them they did. Pushing past terror’s edge is where tremendous inspiration, growth and extraordinary leadership can emerge.

    How do you come out stronger? In a word, grit. Psychologists have long maintained that grit—courage and firmness in the face of hardship—is the single biggest factor to overcoming obstacles, setbacks, challenges and adversity. People with grit maintain their stamina, determination and motivation. When you are outside your comfort and learning zones and beyond terror’s edge, grit is the key to succeeding, leading, or managing through adversity. It’s how I got through my challenge and I imagine that Mary Barra, Janet Yellen, and their cohorts have it in spades.