我认为，社交是一个毫无诚意的过程。人们之所以愿意与你交往，是基于你能够给予他们什么：介绍合适的人或机构。即便如此，建立恰当的人脉关系，也是商业经营的重要组成部分，是一件你不想去做但又不得不做的事情。我的建议听起来或许与主流文化相反，但我相信，如果你能采用正确的社交方式，你一定能在芸芸众生中脱颖而出，享受人脉带来的好处。下面是我对社交的几种看法：

专注于你可以给予什么

在试图与别人建立有意义的联系时，想想自己可以为他们的职业或公司提供哪些帮助。针对你要说话的对象精心设计你的电梯演说。只要你将解决他们的问题放在首位，你便可以自动建立起与对方的良好关系，而且他们也更有可能报答你的好意。记住：人们更愿意帮助与他们有私交的人。

精心选择社交对象

在鸡尾酒会或会议期间，我经常看到有人精疲力竭，试图认识房间里的每一个人。我却建议采取相反的作法，只选择少数几个人，在活动期间与他们建立更深厚的关系。这种方法可以让你在私人层面上认识更多人，使你们之间形成一种真诚的联系，并且给彼此留下持久的印象。这样做可以帮你建立起一个能够长时间地记住你的人脉网络。

少说多听

当你与人初次见面时，你认为自己应该主导谈话，展示你的主要成就，这是正常的想法；你希望留下良好的印象。但我的建议是提出明智的问题，让对方多说话。再次强调一遍，你需要调整你的电梯演说，使其尽可能地与对方有所关联，并且能够清晰地说明你的情况，这一点非常重要。如果人们感觉自己的话得到了倾听，对话结束之后，他们会对你产生非常好的回忆。坦白说，所有人都喜欢谈论自己！

及时跟进

社交活动结束之后，及时跟进是建立持久关系的关键。一定要通过电子邮件或手写的便条联系你的新朋友，这样他们就知道如何联系你。由于生活的忙碌，这一步往往会被人遗忘，但事实上，它非常重要，因为它将帮助你巩固你刚刚建立的新关系。（财富中文网）

作者乌尔里克·博·拉森为Falcon Social公司创始人兼CEO。

译者：刘进龙/汪皓

审校：任文科

In my opinion, networking can be a bit of a disingenuous process. People tend to want to network with you for what you can give them: introductions to the right people or organizations. That said, making the right connections is an important part of business and in a way, a necessary evil. My advice may sound counterculture, but I believe that when you take the right approach to networking you’ll stand out from the crowd and reap the benefits. Here are a few ways I like to think about networking:

Focus on what you can give

When you’re trying to make a meaningful connection with someone think about how you can help them with either their career or business. Tailor your elevator pitch to whom ever you’re speaking with. If you take the approach of solving their problem first, you’ll automatically build goodwill with someone who will be much more likely to return the favor. Remember: people enjoy helping those they can connect with on a personal level.

Only network with a select few people

I often see people at cocktail receptions or conferences running themselves ragged trying to meet everyone in the room. I like to take the opposite approach, meeting only a select few people, and building deeper relationships with them during the course of the evening. This approach allows you to know those handful of people on a more personal level, creating a genuine connection that’s bound to have a lasting impression. And you’re building a community of contacts who’ll remember you in the long haul.

Talk less, listen more

It’s normal to feel like you have to dominate a conversation and highlight all your key accomplishments when you meet someone for the first time; you want to make an good impression. That said, my recommendation is to ask smart questions and get the person you’re networking with to do more of the talking. Again, it’s important to fine-tune your elevator pitch to make it’s as relevant as possible to the individual opposite you, while also clearly articulating who you are. If someone feels heard, they’ll likely walk away from the conversation with a very positive memory of you. And lets be honest, everyone likes talking about themselves!

Follow-up in a timely manner

Following-up with the people you meet at your networking event is essential to building a lasting relationships. Make sure to reach out to your new contact via email or a hand-written note so that they know how to reach you. This step is often lost in the busyness of life, but it’s an important one as it’ll help solidify the new relationship you’ve recently made.