邮购新娘借助网络卷土重来

    就凭我在这网站的片刻逗留，我就能看出在这上面花钱有多容易。实际上，尽管我的账户没有提供个人信息或照片链接，在一个多月里我还是收到了176条信息，里面充斥下面这类句子，如18岁的艾丽莎发来“我就梦想找个温柔体贴的男人”，21岁的伊莲娜发来“我得承认，你的照片吸引了我的目光”。而要回复这些信息，每条要花10个积分。

    在国际相亲网站上找新娘实在代价不菲，这引起了一些维护妇女权益者的重视。塔希莉司法中心（Tahirih Justice Center）公共政策总监珍妮•斯穆特表示，男性在这类服务上大把花钱会让他们产生更高的期望值。她说：“现在有人担心，有些人似乎觉得他们有权利享有这种讨价还价带来的好处。”这种方式使女性变得商品化也是个问题，在这类网站上，女性似乎就是一种商品，款式众多，类型各异。另外还有人担忧，通过这类服务嫁到异国的女性会尤其容易遭到虐待。

    大多数网络聊天都不会走到线下，但一旦在线国际相亲离开了虚拟领域，就可能存在真正的安全隐患。去年就有一个德克萨斯的男子谋划要绑架并杀害他在网上碰到的一个女人。这个行业里家庭暴力的案例更是不绝于耳。2005年还出现了起气焰嚣张的杀人案，专门谋杀外国新娘，促使联邦通过立法保护那些经由国际婚姻中介嫁到美国的女性。

    这项名为《国际婚姻中介管制法》（International Marriage Broker Regulation Act）的法案刚出台时遭到了国际相亲公司的激烈反对。布鲁克斯称，现在对它的接受度高多了。他说：“现在这个行业已学会理解这项法案了。这个法案设计的宗旨就是要让国际相亲网站的女性会员感到非常放心和安全，而这对我们来说当然是头等重要的事情。”这项法案要求这类公司必须对会员进行背景调查，同时向外来新娘充分告知她们所享有的权利。不过，支持这项法案的人称，它的执行有时并不到位。

    跟我聊过一会儿的这位安娜塔西雅表示，她与男性见面时总会把安全放在第一位。她还确认，AnastasiaDate的翻译人员当时在场。这家公司会提供各种服务，让男性了解国外情况，让女性感觉更加安心。安娜塔西雅已经通过这个渠道见过两个人了。我问她这种见面是否有意思。她一叠声地说：“恰恰相反。糟透了。”其中一个男人好像对她毫无兴趣（他像是半死不活的）。另一个则认为她是个妓女。她说她觉得这些男人可能已有了根深蒂固的想法：一大群年轻姑娘在讨少量男性的欢心。她写道：“这个网站会展示男性不那么正面的形象。”

    不过安娜塔西雅并没有气馁。她还是在AnastasiaDate.com上锲而不舍地追寻着，因为她要找到自己的真爱——这跟我们多数人何其相似。当我问她，到底想从网上找到一个什么样的人时，她的回答和所有人——不管哪个国家，不管男女——几乎如出一辙：“我希望找到一个值得共度一生的人。”希望她梦想成真。（财富中文网）

    译者：清远

    During my brief time on the site, I could see how it might be easy to spend. In fact, despite the absence of a profile or photo linked to my account, I still racked up 176 messages in a little over a month with letters full of phrases like "I dream to find a man who is tender and caring," from 18-year-old Alisa or "I'd like to confess that your photo caught my eye," from 21-year-old Irina. Responding costs 10 credits each.

    The sheer costliness of courting a bride on international dating sites makes some women's rights advocates wary. Jeanne Smoot, the director of public policy for the Tahirih Justice Center, says that having spent large amounts on the courtship can leave men with a sense of expectation. "There is a concern there, about someone who feels that they're entitled to the benefit of their bargain," Smoot says. The commodification of women is a concern, with sites that offer so many options and such variety. And there are also worries that women who travel to a new country through such services will be particularly vulnerable to abuse.

    Though most conversations will end online, when international online dating leaves the realm of the virtual, there can be real safety risks. Last year a Texas man plotted to kidnap and kill a women he had met on a website. Examples of domestic violence cases in the industry abound. A pair of high-profile murders of foreign brides prompted the enactment of federal legislation in 2005 to protect women brought to the U.S. via international marriage brokers.

    That statute, called the International Marriage Broker Regulation Act, met with vehement opposition from the international dating companies when it was introduced. Now, Brooks says, it gets a warmer reception. "The industry has grown to appreciate it," he says. "It was designed to provide a very high level of comfort and safety to female members of international dating sites, which is, of course, of utmost importance to us." The law mandates that agencies perform background checks and provide immigrant women with information about their rights. However, proponents say the laws' enforcement is sometimes lacking.

    Anastasia, who I chatted with for a while, says she keeps safety in mind when she meets men in person. She makes sure that AnastasiaDate translators are present. The company provides a variety of services to both acquaint the man with a foreign country and to make the women feel more comfortable. Anastasia has met two men this way. I asked if it was fun. "Quite the opposite," she wrote. "It was awful." One man didn't act interested. ("He seemed semi-alive.") The other assumed she was a prostitute. She said she thought the odds -- so many young women vying for so little male attention -- had gone to their heads. The site "tends to show men from not such a bright side," she wrote.

    Still, Anastasia is undeterred. She's sticking with AnastasiaDate.com, she says, because she's searching for her one true love -- like a lot of the rest of us. When I asked her what she wanted from the site, her answer could have come from anyone, male or female, in any country: "I hope to find someone worthy to be with." Here's hoping that's what she finds.