托朋友找工作也要公事公办

    戴维•巴克当初准备从酒店管理业跳槽到金融行业时，马上想到了在美国坦帕市一家抵押借贷公司工作的朋友。在这位朋友的推荐下，他成功获得了这家公司的金融分析师职位。

    但事情的结果却并不如意。这份工作顶多只能算是比秘书工作好一点。巴克在这里并没能像他朋友保证的那样，有机会学习风险管理与财务预测，而是每天复印文件、接电话，或者做会议记录。他向朋友倾吐对工作的不满时，这位老友试图让他感到内疚的答复使他陷入了两难境地。他说：“如果你辞职的话，会影响我在公司的信誉。因为是我让你得到了这个职位。”

    但不久，巴克还是离开了这家公司。从此之后，两人可谓老死不相往来。目前，45岁的巴克正在亚特兰大从事金融服务行业，他说：“好在我有酒店管理背景，所以，我最终还是回到了这个行业。虽然这件事没有给我造成经济上的困难，但却使我失去了一个朋友，这才是令人沮丧的地方。”

    随着我们的个人生活与工作日益重叠，为了避免巴克的不幸遭遇，我们需要进行更好的沟通和更周全的考虑。其实，通过朋友找工作的风险很高，因为我们不希望失去友情，也不希望失去工作机会。但是，我们非常容易放松警惕，或者常常误以为朋友和我们想法一致。因此，对朋友开诚布公地提出自己的想法就显得格外重要。如果通过朋友求职，就要把朋友当作正式的工作联系人，给予足够的考虑，并且按照行业规范来做。

    职场策略师达雷尔•W•格尼将这种情况称为“自由贸易交往协议”：双方在协议中会明确讨论介绍、推荐或其他情况的条件。格尼曾著有《打破常规求职法》（Never Apply for a Job Again: Break the Rules, Cut the Line, Beat the Rest）一书，他说，你可以这样说：“我可以给你介绍。但能否充分利用这次机会，全在你自己。”或者，巴克的朋友可以这样说：“我可以推荐你，但你要自己决定这份工作是否合适，否则最终可能使我的信誉受损。”

    回过头来看，其实巴克当时可以更仔细地咨询招聘经理，明确自己的工作职责，以及要过多久才可以更进一步，获得一个涉及抵押贷款方面的实质性岗位。决定接受这份工作之前，他不应该过于依赖朋友的承诺。

    那么，借助友情来提升个人职业生涯到底值不值得一试？可以说，马特•怀特科尔就是这么做的。怀特科尔今年27岁，他的商业伙伴就是在拳击俱乐部里认识的。

    他说：“拳击运动很受白领阶层的喜爱。拳击俱乐部里的公司高管和CEO多得出乎人们的意料。因为高管们热衷于竞争，即便是在下班之后也不例外。”

    When David Bakke was looking to move from restaurant management into finance, he immediately thought to contact a friend who worked at a mortgage-lending firm in Tampa. Based on the friend's recommendation, Bakke was hired for a financial analyst position at the company.

    Then things turned sour. The job turned out to be little more than a secretary position. Instead of learning about risk management and financial forecasting as Bakke's friend had promised, he was making photocopies, answering phones, and taking notes in meetings. When his friend learned of Bakke's dissatisfaction, he tried to guilt trip him, saying, "If you quit, that's going to damage my reputation around here. I got you hired on the spot."

    Shortly thereafter, Bakke gave notice and left the firm. His friend hasn't spoken with him since. "Fortunately, with my restaurant management background, I was able to get back into the industry," says Bakke, 45, who now is working in financial services in Atlanta. "It wasn't like I suffered any financial hardships out of the situation, but I did lose the friendship, which is unfortunate."

    As our personal and work lives lap into each other, it heightens the need for better communication and forethought to avoid an uncomfortable situation like Bakke's. The stakes are higher, because you don't want to lose your friendship -- or your job. Since we're more likely to drop our guard or assume our friend has the same perspective we do, it's important to bring hidden assumptions into the open. Give as much thought to due diligence and professional etiquette with your friend as you would with any work contact.

    Career strategist Darrell W. Gurney calls it a "free trade networking agreement," in which you explicitly discuss the terms of an introduction, recommendation or other situation. You might say, "I'll make the introduction. I'll leave it to you to nurture and make the most of that connection," says Gurney, author of Never Apply for a Job Again: Break the Rules, Cut the Line, Beat the Rest. Or, in Bakke's case, his friend could have said, "I'll recommend you for the job. You need to determine that it's the right fit, or it could hurt my reputation."

    In retrospect, Bakke would have questioned the hiring manager more closely to learn exactly what duties he'd be responsible for, and how soon he could advance to a substantive position in mortgage finance. He wouldn't have relied on his friend's representations before taking the job.

    So is it worth it to try to use your friendships in your climb up the career ladder? Matt Whitteker wouldn't do it any other way. Whitteker, 27, met his business partner in the boxing ring.

    "There's a huge white-collar following in boxing clubs," he says. "You'd be surprised how many executives and CEOs go. The executives want that competition, even in their off hours."