“平衡工作与生活论”新解

    史蒂文森说，他和其他很多人犯的错误是，“他们陷入了误区，不妨问问自己一些最简单的问题，比如‘今天我想要的东西真的和去年想要的是一样的吗？5年前我接受这份工作的理由如今还存在吗？’”这位不开心的企业家最后想清了一点，他并不想做什么新的事情。真正让他有成就感的是他一直以来做的事情：供养家庭。因此，他将更多重心转到了“职业生活”，创立了一家新的公司。

思考你会留下些什么

    史蒂文森表示，思考如何平衡7种生活的另一种方式是，不妨想想百年之后你的人生将被如何看待。你会留下些什么？史蒂文森说，人们总是会找一位导师，试图复制他们的职业。他认为，这样的道路注定失败。“不管别人的想法多么有吸引力，也不能完全真正地成为你自己的想法。你留下来的东西应该是你自己的，”史蒂文森说。他建议，比较好的方式是以榜样的想法为出发点，推动自己深入思考，什么真正有意义？什么真正令人满意？

    找到让你满意的东西后，还要经常留意史蒂文森称之为“拐点”的时刻，及时转向新的方向。为了说明这一点，辛诺威举了一个例子：中层管理者米歇尔的老板在一次重组中被解雇了。米歇尔表示，她感觉前途渺茫，不知道自己将来在部门中的新角色是什么。她已经在这家公司工作了10年，希望能有一个最好的结果。

    史蒂文森说，她在浪费一个绝佳的上升机会。他的建议：她需要争取和管理层对话，给出她对部门重组以及自身新职能的建议。也许她会遭到回绝，但藉此至少也能对个人的职业和前景多一些了解。如果成功，她将立即获得一份精彩的新工作。

最具挑战的部分：坦诚面对自己。

    人们常犯的另一个错误，史蒂文森称之为“在单人纸牌游戏中作弊”。史蒂文森在哈佛商学院曾经带过一名叫詹姆斯的学生，后来进入了房地产投资信托公司工作，但他对工作并不满意。这个人很聪明，也是办公室里工作最努力的一个，但却没能晋升到下一个级别。

    The mistake he and many other people make, Stevenson says, is that "they fall into the trap of not asking simple questions, like, 'Do I really want the same things today that I wanted last year? Are the reasons I took this job five years ago still valid now?'" The disgruntled entrepreneur eventually figured out that he didn't really want to do anything new. What really gave him fulfillment was what he had been doing before: providing for his family. So he shifted more emphasis to his "career self" and started a new company.

Considering your legacy

    Another way to figure out how to balance your seven lives, says Stevenson, is to start thinking about how your life will be perceived after it's over. What's your legacy going to be? Stevenson says people often find a mentor and then try to replicate their careers. This path, he argues, is bound for failure.  "As compelling as another's vision might be, you can't make it wholly, truly yours. A legacy is tailored to fit just one person," Stevenson says.  The better approach, he suggests, is to use a role model's perspectives as a catalyst to promote your own deep thinking about what's truly meaningful and satisfying.

    Once you have found what you think will make you happy, you have to be constantly on the lookout for what Stevenson calls  "inflection points," moments that can catapult you in a new direction. To illustrate, Sinoway uses the example of a middle level executive named Michelle whose boss was fired in a restructuring. She said that she was going to lay low and wait to find out what her new role would be in the department. She had invested 10 years in the company and was hoping for the best.

    Stevenson says she was wasting an excellent opportunity for growth. His advice: she needs to step up to management, and offer her ideas for restructuring the department and her new role in it. She might be rebuffed, but at least it would give her some valuable data about her career and prospects. And if it worked, she'd suddenly have an exciting new job.

The most challenging task of all: Being honest with yourself

    Another common mistake people make is what Stevenson calls "cheating at solitaire." A former Harvard Business School student of Stevenson's named James was frustrated in his job working for a real estate investment trust. He was smart and the hardest working person in the office, but he wasn't rising to the next level.