工作生活失衡不能怪老板

    桑德伯格的讲法已遭到批评。职场专家们担心，平衡工作和家庭关系方面存在的切切实实的困难，粉饰这种困难可能会让雇主藉此撇清关系。

    “答案部分在于让雇员自己负责，但不要把标准降得太低，”提供职业发展支持的非营利组织ThirdPath的创始人杰西卡•迪格鲁特说。“如果没有更多有勇气的人站起来反对，美国企业就会给雇员提过多的要求，结果对婚姻和家庭造成破坏。”

    让我们看看前雷曼兄弟（Lehman Brothers）首席财务官艾琳•卡兰全身心扑在工作上所付出的代价：她的婚姻结束了。雷曼倒闭时，她感觉自己整个人也消失了。“最初我并没有将全部投身工作作为自己的目标。这是日积月累形成的，”最近她在《纽约时报》（New York Times）的一篇文章中这样写道。“个人空间的界线逐渐消失，一直到最后只剩下了工作。”

    其他职场专家指出，有关平衡工作与生活的讨论通常忽视工薪家庭面临的挑战，因为他们的选择更有限——如果还有选择的话。“有数百万女性像桑德伯格一样努力工作，但她们每年辛辛苦苦赚的钱不到15,000美元，”为低收入女性代言的非营利组织9to5的全美执行董事琳达•美瑞克说，“对于那些全职的低收入工作，‘扩大影响圈'和其他个人决定与选择不会让他们找到摆脱贫困的出路。我们需要一个工作标准，为所有员工和家庭提供稳固的平台。”

    尤斯特说，要想实现工作-家庭平衡，达到这样的飞跃，具体取决于个人。根据《纽约时报》刊登的《向前一步》一书中的部分内容，桑德伯格还看到了学习新的职场技能的重要性，无论是谈判，还是时间管理。

    “任何地方都有想法。光有想法还不够，”尤斯特说，随着科技、全球化和人口结构的转变，过去的界线已经消失，其他东西将取而代之。我们必须站出来。它关乎男性、女性、年轻人、创业者和年长的工作者。它不只关系到父母，不只关系到女性。它关乎我们每个人。”

    Sandberg's message has been subject to criticism. Workplace experts fear that glossing over the real tensions and difficulties of balancing work and family life lets employers off the hook.

    "Part of the answer is people taking ownership, but let's not lower the bar too far," says Jessica DeGroot, founder of ThirdPath, a nonprofit that supports men and women with their career paths. "Without more courageous people standing up, corporate America often asks too much of employees, and it's hurting marriages and families."

    Just look at the price that former Lehman Brothers CFO Erin Callan paid for giving her all to the job: Her marriage ended, and when Lehman collapsed she felt her entire identity was gone. "I didn't start out with the goal of devoting all of myself to my job. It crept in over time," she wrote in a recent New York Times essay. "My boundaries slipped away until work was all that was left."

    Others note that the work-life debate often overlooks the challenges of working class families, which have even more limited choices -- if any. "There are millions of women who work just as hard as Sandberg, but who are barely scraping by on wages that amount to less than $15,000 a year," says Linda Meric, national executive director of 9to5, a nonprofit that advocates for low-wage earner women. "For those working full-time at low-wage jobs, 'leaning in' and other personal decisions and choices does not provide a path out of poverty. We need labor standards that provide a stable floor for all workers and families."

    Yost says it's up to individuals to make the leap from work-life inspiration to implementation. Sandberg also sees the importance of learning new workplace skills, whether that's negotiation or time management, according to Lean In documents published in the New York Times.

    "There is inspiration everywhere. It's not enough," Yost says. "With technology and globalization and demographic shifts, the old boundaries are gone, and something has to take its place. We are going to have to step into that breach. This is about men, women, young people, entrepreneurs, older workers. This is not about parents and not about women. This is about every single one of us."