帮朋友忙要不要收钱

    “你应该付钱给我。”经过这样的交流，以后再蜻蜓点水地继续提供建议，这样就可以传达出一个信息：偶尔麻烦你解决问题和经常让你从事原本应该得到报酬的真正或有意义的工作，两者之间是有区别的。

    最后，推荐其他可能对你朋友的事业有所帮助的人。这表明你并不想借此牟取暴利——你真诚地关心好友的核心利益。也许只是因为双方正式的合作会觉得太尴尬，或者让人感到不舒服，也许你单纯只是因为没有时间或者能力解决问题，跟钱没有关系，又也许你并不是做这份工作的最好人选。无论是哪种情况，你都可能认识某个能够帮上忙的人。

    你要努力不贬低自己的时间价值。尽管你很高兴在适当的时候做出贡献和分享建议，但是你并不愿意白白被别人利用。你有足够的自尊和信心，合理地珍惜你的时间和精力，在你力所能及的时候提供帮助。但是不要觉得自己被迫年复一年地为艾德娜阿姨报税，为约翰尼写大学论文，或者免费提供法律意见。

    乔迪•格利克曼，沟通培训和领导力开发公司 Great on the Job的创始人。她著有《职场秘诀：提高工作绩效的沟通技巧》（Great on the Job: What to Say, How to Say It, The Secrets of Getting Ahead；圣马丁出版社，2011年5月）。

    译者：凌云

    Offering over-the-shoulder advice after the more formal "you-should-pay-me" route communicates that there's a difference between pinging you occasionally with questions and taxing you regularly with real or meaningful work that you should be compensated for.

    Lastly, go ahead and recommend others who might help your friend's cause. This demonstrates that you're not trying to profiteer here -- you genuinely have your buddy's best interest at heart. Perhaps working together formally is just too awkward or uncomfortable, perhaps you don't have the time or capacity no matter the financial arrangement, or perhaps you're really not the best person for the job. Whatever the case, you probably know someone who can help.

    You owe it to yourself to not undermine the value of your time. While you're happy to give and share advice when appropriate, you're not in the business of being taken for a ride. Have enough self-respect and confidence to value your time and energy appropriately and help out when you can. But don't feel forced to do Aunt Edna's taxes year after year, write Johnny college essays, or give legal advice for free.

    Jodi Glickman is the founder of communication training and leadership development firm Great on the Job. She is the author of Great on the Job: What to Say, How to Say It, The Secrets of Getting Ahead (St. Martin's Press, May 2011).