怎样才能培养出女版乔布斯
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我们可以鼓励女性积极投身社会并张开双臂欢迎她们，但这并不会消除各种文化中一些已经传承千年的、对待女性的做法，它们一直强化着女性主要作为抚育者的角色（我指的并不只是养育孩子）。要克服这一点，就需要全世界有意识地持续努力。它在实践中意味着什么呢？主要是以下几点： • 男性支持这种观点，即他们的女性另一半有能力作为平等的合伙人作出经济上的贡献，有能力养家糊口。 • 把要不要孩子的选择权真正还给女性。这就要求消除对那些选择不要孩子的女性的非议，让她们真正获得生育的选择权。 • 把是否照顾年迈双亲的选择权还给女性。女性相对长寿，经济压力也较大，这意味着她们往往不得不照顾年迈的双亲和公婆。 • 对那些选择要孩子及照顾家里老人的女性提供社会和经济支持，这需要各类企业和政府帮一把。 从理论上来说，上述情况现在都存在。我之所以说是理论上，是因为如果它们确实存在，我们为什么还要对女性中没能涌现出马克、斯蒂夫、杰夫和埃隆这样充满创意的财富创造者大惑不解呢？请告诉我，如果整个社会对待女性的心态一直没有改变，这怎么可能呢？！ 不过，尽管现实中女孩和妇女听到的说法各有不同，但我还是要不揣冒昧地说，只有女孩和妇女才会真正明白下面这番话的深意，因为她们从青少年开始直到长大成人，每天都会听到这话：“到了年纪就找个合适的伴侣，因为我们摆脱不了生理规律，给家庭赚钱的同时，也要养好孩子。”而根据所处文化背景的不同还会加上这么一句：“同时也别忘了对老爸老妈和公婆的责任啊。” 我还要不揣冒昧地说，有些人（不是所有人）会一直把这类说法挂在嘴边，四处唠叨。她们往往是些上了点年纪的妇女，可悲的是，其中还包括我们自己的母亲！我说这话不是想要指责谁，只是要指明我们这一生所要面对的到底是什么样的人和事。 这就是让女性在养大成人和投身社会过程中总是寻求稳定而不是风险的诸多因素之一。一开始就选择工程学（这是大学里的小众学科）然后开始创业（这意味着收入不稳定），这本身就是有风险的。选择这条充满风险的道路说明我们是异类（这不算什么坏事）。其他人则在一边待着，看着我们会如何克服各种艰难险阻。如果没能打造一个价值十亿美元的公司，也没研发出什么创新技术，会不会有人对我们指指点点？我们会不会觉得自己痛失了做个好妈妈的机会？又或者我们有能耐做到家庭事业两不误吗？ 而与此同时，男人全力以赴地干事业却仍是这个社会可以接受的做法。 |
We can encourage women to participate and welcome them with open arms, but that won't undo the thousands of years of ongoing cross-cultural practices that reinforce a woman's primary role as a nurturer (and I am not just talking about nurturing children). To overcome this requires a constant and vigilant effort globally. What does this mean in practice? It means the following: • Men supporting the notion that their female significant other can contribute as an equal partner financially or be the bread-winner of the household. • Really leaving the choice of having children up to women. This requires eradicating the unspoken judgment passed on women who choose not to have children and truly having the right to choice. • Really leaving the choice of taking care of elderly parents up to women. Longevity coupled with financial strain often mean that women are left to care for elderly parents and in-laws. • Having supportive social and economic practices for those who do chose to have children and take care of aging family members, which will need to be reinforced by somebody such as companies or governments. In theory, all of this exists today. I say in theory, because if they actually existed, why would we be still left wondering why women aren't more innovative wealth-creators a la Mark, Steve, Jeff, and Elon? Please tell me how this is possible without a sustained change in society's mindset towards women?! However, as status quo goes there is a mixed message being sent to girls and women, and I will take liberty in saying that only girls and women will truly understand this because they experience it daily from young through adolescence and into adulthood: "Find the right partner by a certain age, because we are still controlled by biology, and nurture your children while still contributing to the family financially." Depending on your cultural background add, "Please don't forget about your obligations to your aging parents and in-laws." I will also take liberty in saying that some, not all, but some people, who continue to reinforce and propagate this mixed message are an older generation of women, which sadly, often include our own mothers! I'm not saying it to place blame, but to merely point out who and what we face throughout our lives. This is one of the factors that has led females to being bred and socially conditioned to seek stability, not risk. There is an inherent risk involved in first choosing to pursue engineering (being the minority in college) and then entrepreneurship (being financially unstable). Those of us who have chosen a risky path are merely anomalies (not a bad thing). The rest are waiting and watching to see how we will overcome the personal risk we've taken. Will we be castigated if we fail to build a billion-dollar company and innovative technology? Or will we feel like we missed out on motherhood? Or will we be able to balance both? Meanwhile, it is still socially acceptable for men to focus wholeheartedly on their career. |
