亲爱的安妮：我的朋友发给我一篇您写的专栏文章，文中提到了如何搞定专横老板的五条建议。不过，我的顶头上司情况更加恶劣。两个月之前，我才开始从事这份工作（这是我大学毕业之后第一份“真正意义上的”正式工作），但从一开始，我的上司就变成了我的噩梦。他总是对我做的事情吹毛求疵，冷嘲热讽。而且，他大约每周都失控一次，对我和其他同事歇底斯里地吼叫。在此我不想提到这些同事的名字。

    我还发现上司有另外一个毛病：他经常会在一项工作任务的最后关头压缩我们的时间，导致我们无法弥补失去的时间。之后，他就会向上级抱怨我们如何“懒散”，而那些高层好像都觉得他神通广大。我非常希望能在这家公司取得成功，但我不知道我还能忍受多久。我是否应该跟他的上司谈谈？因为他的上司看上去比较通情达理。如果不能的话，那我该怎么办？—— 受伤的新丁

    亲爱的新丁：听起来你的上司是典型的“职场恶霸”。所谓“职场恶霸”，是指不断对别人进行“言语虐待、威胁、恐吓或侮辱”的人，并且会“暗中破坏工作进度”（他们会突然改变某项工作的截止时间）。

    这个定义来自于职场暴力学会（Workplace Bullying Institute），该学会是一家非营利性研究培训机构。其实，职场暴力现象非常普遍：去年WBI对4,210名美国成年人进行的调查显示，美国就业人口中约有50%称自己在工作中受到过欺侮，或者见到过其他人受到不公平待遇。

    上个月，由求职网站CareerBuilders组织的另外一份调查也显示，美国员工中约有27%在工作中受到过欺侮。但研究显示，大多数人对于自己遭受的职场暴力都“选择了沉默”。

    WBI研究显示，约有四分之三（72%）的职场恶霸都是公司领导，而他们之所以没有受到惩罚，是因为在美国许多州，虐待员工并不违反法律，除非这种虐待明显涉及年龄、性别、种族或宗教信仰，所以公司的人力资源和法律部对他们的行为也就视而不见了。不过，这种情况正在逐步改变。到目前为止，共有21个州通过了反职场暴力法，另有11个州也正在酝酿出台类似法律。

    但即便身处职场暴力被法律禁止的地区，起诉上司或许也并不是最明智的决定。向他的上级投诉也不见得有效。因为，正如WBI会长加里•纳米对恶霸上司一针见血的描绘：他们擅长媚上欺下，并且小心翼翼，绞尽脑汁给上级留下好印象。

    纳米表示：“混进公司的职场恶棍总是把自己装扮成行动高效、雄心勃勃的能人。”换句话说，在高层看来，你的重要性可能比不上这些人。因此，2007年WBI的调查显示，当员工投诉受到上司不公正待遇时，53%的雇主选择视而不见。更糟糕的是，在这些投诉案例中，有24%的投诉者惨遭解雇。

    那你该怎么办呢？首先，既然你希望能在这家公司取得成功，留意一下目前或者未来是否有机会逃脱他的魔爪。你希望去公司哪个部门，就要多结识这个部门的同事，并关注职位空缺。你不会一直在这个家伙手底下工作，明白了这一点，容忍他的所作所为也就变得稍微容易点了。

    纳米参与撰写了《向职场暴力说不：避免伤害，维护尊严》（The Bully at Work: What You Can Do to Stop the Hurt and Reclaim Your Dignity on the Job）一书。对于如何避免身体和心理受到恶霸上司的伤害，他提出了三条建议：

    1. 练习屏蔽怒气。要在上司歇斯底里地怒吼时保持冷静，一种方法是在心里反复默念一句话：“不要生气，我犯不上为这事生气。”纳米表示，另外一种方法很简单，就是“想着恶霸上司外貌中最可笑的部分。”盯着上司愚蠢的发型或者肥硕的耳朵，“可以帮你保持冷静”，因为“你根本没拿他当回事儿。”

    2.核实真实情况。纳米强调道，对于“如何贬低下属的能力和价值”，恶霸上司们驾轻就熟。“如果上司老是贬低下属的工作和价值，下属也很难不信以为真。”

    他认为，应付这种情况需要借助好朋友或公司中有威望的同盟，“他们可以协助确定这些批评是否对你的工作有益。哪些部分是有效的，哪些是错误的、恶意的，甚至纯粹只是在发牢骚。”

    3. 寻求内部同盟。你前面提到，有几个同事也是这位上司间歇性暴脾气的受害者，因此不妨试着征求他们对这个问题的看法。“看他们是否愿意与你群策群力，想出办法来改善目前的处境，而不是各自为战，独自面对上司的欺侮。”

    但纳米警告，即便一群志同道合的受压迫者团结起来，可能也无法改变恶霸上司的行为。毕竟，到目前为止，这个恶棍还安然无恙地稳坐在自己的位置上。不过，在你们摆脱这个家伙之前，至少你们可以为彼此提供足够的精神支持。

    祝好运！

    反馈：你有没有遇到过恶霸上司？你是如何对付他们的？欢迎评论。

    （翻译 刘进龙）

    Dear Annie: A friend of mine sent me your column about five ways to cope with an autocratic boss, but I'm facing a problem with my immediate supervisor that is actually quite a bit worse. Since I started this job about two months ago (it's my first "real" job out of college), my boss has become a nightmare. He constantly snipes at everything I do, makes sarcastic remarks, and about once a week has a totally out-of-control screaming fit where he calls me, and a couple of my coworkers, names I don't even want to repeat.

    Another thing I've discovered: After cutting our time short to complete assignments, which he always does at the last minute so there's no way to make up the lost time, he complains to higher-ups -- who all seem to think he walks on water -- about how "lazy" we are. I really want to succeed at this company, but I'm not sure how long I can stand it. Should I talk to the person above him, who seems like a reasonable human being? If not, what can I do? — Ulcer in the Making

    Dear U.M.: Your boss sounds like a classic workplace bully, defined as someone who repeatedly inflicts on others "verbal abuse, threatening conduct, intimidation or humiliation" as well as "sabotage that prevents work from getting done" (those suddenly altered deadlines).

    That definition comes from the Workplace Bullying Institute, a nonprofit research and training organization. Alas, it's not an unusual problem: About 50% of the U.S. workforce reports either having been bullied by someone at work or having witnessed someone else being mistreated, according to a survey of 4,210 American adults that WBI conducted last year.

    Another poll last month, by job site CareerBuilders, found that 27% of U.S. employees have experienced some form of bullying at work. Most "never confronted or reported" the bully, the study says.

    The WBI research shows that about three-quarters (72%) of bullies are bosses, and one reason they get away with it is that, in most states, abusing employees is not illegal unless the mistreatment is demonstrably based on age, sex, race, or religion, so it flies under the radar of corporate human resources and legal departments. That is slowly changing. So far, 21 states have passed anti-workplace-bullying laws, and 11 more are considering following suit.

    Even if you live in a state where bullying is illegal now, suing your employer is probably not your best move. Neither is complaining about your boss to the person above him. For one thing, your boss fits a profile that WBI chief Gary Namie recognizes all too well: The supervisor who is adept at kissing up and kicking down, as the saying goes, and is careful to make a great impression on higher-ups.

    "Bullies sneak into companies disguised as high performers and desirably ambitious go-getters," Namie says. In other words, you're likely to be perceived as far more dispensable than they are. That's probably why, a 2007 WBI survey shows, 53% of employers did nothing when employees reported a bullying boss. In 24% of cases, it was even worse: The person who complained got fired.

    So what can you do? First, since you want to succeed at this company, start looking around to see if opportunities exist, or may soon exist, that would put you out of this person's reach. Get to know as many people as you can in other areas of the company where you might want to work, and keep an eye out for job openings. Just knowing that you won't be working for this boss forever can make it a little easier to put up with him.

    Namie, who is co-author of useful book called The Bully at Work: What You Can Do to Stop the Hurt and Reclaim Your Dignity on the Job, offers three other suggestions for protecting your psyche -- and your stomach -- from your bullying boss:

    1. Practice tuning out the tantrums. One way to keep your cool when your boss starts screaming is to practice repeating a mantra in your head like, "Ignore the anger. It's not yours." Another approach is to "simply think about the one aspect of the bully's physical appearance you find most awkward," Namie says. Focusing on the boss's goofy haircut or oversized ears "can help you to stay calm" because "you're not taking him too seriously."

    2. Get a reality check. Bullies have a knack for knowing exactly "how to make you feel incompetent or unworthy," Namie notes. "When confronted by a constant critic who picks apart both your work and your worthiness, it's hard not to believe he's right."

    To counteract that, he says, you need a good friend or respected ally at work "who could help you determine whether any of the criticism is useful to your work. Which parts are valid, and which are incorrect, misinformed, malicious, or just plain whiny?"

    3. Enlist supporters. Since you mention that a few of your coworkers have also been on the receiving end of your boss's screaming fits, try sounding them out about the problem, Namie suggests. "Are they willing to brainstorm with you about possible ways to improve the situation, without anyone having to take on the boss alone?"

    Even as a group of like-minded fellow sufferers, Namie warns, you probably can't transform a bully's behavior. After all, it's clearly been working pretty well for him so far. But at the very least, you can provide each other with enough moral support to last until you no longer work for this bozo.

    Good luck.

    Talkback: Have you ever worked for a boss who was a bully? How did you cope? Leave a comment below.