他补充说：“老板们会很欣赏你这么做，因为他们不用再费劲回想在这一整年中，你都做了什么”，这件事很显然是老板没时间做也不愿做的。胡佛指出，在一些公司，人事部门会要求员工撰写自我评估，对全年的活动和成绩进行总结，对于那些记性不好的老板来说相当于便利的“小抄纸”。

    说到这里，胡佛还提出了需要牢记的其他几点：“就算老板犯了错，也要一如既往地保持礼貌和幽默感，老板毕竟也是人，而且他们常常工作过度。此外，除非你的老板天生是自虐狂，否则对于他们来说，业绩评估一定是他们最头痛的工作。传达坏消息或者批评意见是很难的，老板们可能宁可去扫厕所也不愿干这个。所以还是对他们抱以同情心吧。”胡佛在书中指出了十种不同的老板类型，自虐狂就是其中一种。

    胡佛说，还得记住：“除了配偶、孩子或者其他重要的人，跟老板的关系是你这辈子最重要的人际关系。它能决定你的工作满意度、职业生涯前景和生活质量。奇怪的是，每个人都会毫不犹豫地建议他人，要学着与配偶和孩子更好地沟通，但如果你建议对老板也要如此，别人就会嘲笑你‘拍马屁’。”

    胡佛认为这种想法大错特错。化学反应在任何人际关系中都很重要。“如果能打消‘拍马屁’的顾虑，并努力做到用老板的语言进行沟通，而不是自说自话，那么你就能够培养出这种情感来。”

    虽然这听起来需要花费很多气力，但胡佛表示，这是值得的。他说：“伟大的领导者会做很多准备功课。他们能记住别人孩子的名字。他们聆听你的倾诉，如同房间内只有你一人。如果希望得到赏识并最终获得影响力，那就必须这么做。”毋庸赘言。

    译者：李玫晓/汪皓

    He adds, "Bosses appreciate this, because it saves them the work of trying to reconstruct the whole year from memory" -- a task your boss apparently hasn't got the time or inclination for. At some companies, Hoover notes, the HR department asks employees to write self-evaluations summing up the year's activities and achievements, which serve as handy "cheat sheets" for bosses whose powers of recall are less than total.

    Speaking of which, Hoover suggests a few other things to bear in mind: "Even when your boss drops the ball, always be polite and keep your sense of humor, because bosses are only human, after all, and they're often way overworked these days. Not only that, but unless you have a genuinely sadistic boss" -- one of 10 distinct types identified in his book -- "performance evaluations are the most unpleasant task he or she faces. It's hard to deliver bad news or criticism. Your boss would probably rather clean the restrooms. So have some empathy."

    Remember, too, that "besides your spouse or significant other and your kids, if you have any, your rapport with your boss is the most important relationship in your life," Hoover says. "It determines your job satisfaction, the future of your career, your income, your quality of life. The strange thing is, nobody hesitates to recommend that people learn to communicate better with their spouse or their children, but if you make the same suggestion about a boss, it's scorned as 'kissing up.'"

    Big mistake, according to Hoover: As with any relationship, chemistry counts, and "you create that chemistry by getting the phrase 'kissing up' out of your vocabulary and making it a point to communicate in your boss's language, not your own."

    That may sound like a lot of work, but Hoover says it will pay off: "Great leaders do their homework. They remember people's kids' names. They listen to you as if you were the only person in the room. If you want recognition, and ultimately influence, this is how you get it and keep it." Enough said.