亲爱的安妮：为什么这么多公司都要求求职者在申请职位时（尤其是在线申请时）提供证明人呢？有时甚至在安排面试之前就提出了这个要求。他们通常会要求求职者提供老师、亲属、熟人、现在和过去的老板及同事的联系方式。

    对此，我感到很不自在，原因主要有以下几条。第一，我已年过四十，距离大学毕业的时间已经很久，所以把求学时的教授作为证明人很不现实。第二，我不愿意提供家庭和亲友的信息，因为我觉得这些信息都很私密。而在与工作相关的证明人方面，我的大多数老同事和老上司都已退休或者跳槽，我已经与他们失去了联络。此外，我不想让现在公司的人知道我正在找工作，所以我也不能选他们。因此我的问题是，我能拒绝提供证明人吗？用人单位通常并不会真的花时间去询问证明人，对吧？——难在旧金山

    亲爱的“难在旧金山”：当然，你可以拒绝提供证明人。但是，如果本来有希望聘用你的单位突然不联系你了，你也千万别感到意外。证明人查证公司埃里森泰勒（Allison & Taylor）执行副总裁杰夫•沙恩称：“公司肯定会联系证明人进行核实的。尤其是在当前这样的就业市场，同一个岗位通常会有很多符合条件的候选人竞争。拒绝提供证明人风险很大。”

    他说，个人证明人相对来说不那么重要，因为朋友对你的赞美之辞“通常不会有太大分量，重要的是要有专业人士的强力推荐，尤其是有前任上司的推荐更好。”沙恩称，拒绝让招聘经理联系证明人是“一个危险信号”，在很大程度上这意味着你试图有所隐瞒，这可能会让你根本连面试的机会都拿不到。

    那么你现在应该如何去做？首先，努力寻找出至少两到三位你失去联系但对你曾经的工作很熟悉的人士。理想情况下，这些人应该是你的直接上司，如果没有的话，以前的同事和其他人（比如对你很满意的客户）也凑合。借助谷歌（Google）搜索他们，登录商务社交网站LikedIn上面寻找他们，或者看看从专业组织或共同的朋友圈里能否找到他们的联络方式。

    你很好心，不愿意打扰已经退休的老上司，但如果你毫不吝惜地感谢他们理解作为证明人的重要性，你就会发现这种担忧根本没有必要。曾经做过招聘工作的经理人都很清楚证明人有多重要，所以他们不大可能拒绝你的请求。如果你希望尽可能少地打扰他们，完全可以自己写好推荐信，然后请他们签字。

    沙恩表示，所有这些调查和交际手段都是值得的，因为“如果用人单位对你感兴趣，而你不提供证明人，他们可能就会采取另外的做法。”招聘经理或者人力资源部会跟你原来公司的人事部门打电话，寻找一位记得你、并且愿意聊你过去工作情况的人。

    Dear Annie:Why do so many companies request personal references on job applications (especially online) even before setting up an interview? They usually ask for contact information for teachers, relatives, and acquaintances, as well as bosses and coworkers, both current and former.

    I'm really not comfortable with this, for several reasons. First, I'm in my mid-40s and have been out of college a long time, so giving professors as references isn't practical. Second, I don't like to provide information on family and friends because it's too personal. As for work-related references, most of my previous colleagues and supervisors have retired or moved on, and I've lost touch with them. And I don't want anyone at my current company to know I'm job hunting, so they're out too. So my question is, can I just decline to give references? Employers usually don't take the time to check them anyway, do they?— Stumped in San Francisco

    Dear Stumped:Well, of course you can decline to give references -- but don't be surprised if that brings any further contact with a prospective employer to a screeching halt. "Companies certainly do check references," says Jeff Shane, executive vice president of reference-checking firm Allison & Taylor. "Especially in this job market, where there are often many qualified candidates competing for each opening, saying 'no' to this request is rolling the dice."

    Personal references are relatively unimportant, he adds, since kind words from your friends "generally don't carry much weight anyway. What is critical, however, is strong professional recommendations, particularly from former bosses." Refusing to let hiring managers contact them, Shane says, is "a red flag" -- in large part because it suggests you have something to hide -- and could well cost you the job before you've even been interviewed for it.

    So what should you do now? First, try to track down at least two or three of the people who were familiar with your work in the past and with whom you've since lost touch. Ideally, these would be people to whom you reported, but erstwhile peers and others (satisfied clients, for example) will do in a pinch. Google them, look them up on LinkedIn, or see if professional associations or mutual acquaintances have any information on how to reach them.

    It's nice of you not to want to bother former bosses who have retired, but if you thank them profusely for understanding the importance of your request, you'll probably find your misgivings are misplaced. Managers who have done any hiring at all are well aware of how much references matter, so they're unlikely to resent your asking. If you want to keep your intrusion on their time to a minimum, you can always write your own letter of recommendation and ask them to sign it.

    All this detective work and diplomacy is worth the effort, says Shane, because "if an employer is really interested in you and you don't provide references, they may go to Plan B." That's where the hiring manager or a human resources person calls the HR department at a company where you used to work and fishes around for someone who remembers you and who is willing to chat about what your work was like.