科恩表示，这种情况反映在职场中就体现为：“粗鲁行为不会招致恶果。如果老板本身就行为粗鲁，或者放任他人的粗鲁行为，人们会觉得，这种企业鼓励这种行为。结果，每个人都会变本加厉，直到有人站出来说，‘喂，这么干可不行。’”

    凭借一己之力对抗粗鲁行为可能听起来有点像唐吉可德般的理想主义，但是科恩建议，还是不妨试试下面三种策略：

    1. 直截了当，同时不失礼貌。或许这很难理解，但科恩说：“很多人确实不知道自己的行为是粗鲁的，或者他们的粗鲁让你感到不舒服。”因此，不妨找问题最严重的几个人单独谈谈，“不要用批评、对立的方式。只要告诉他们，当他们用粗鲁、充满敌意的方式和你讲话时，增加了你完成工作的难度。”谈一次可能还不够，但慢慢地就会收到效果。

    2. 友善待人最聪明。有些人的粗鲁举止让你难以忍受，不妨尝试着多去了解他们一些，这样或许会有帮助。科恩说：“找机会发现他们积极的一面，比如在午餐或咖啡时间。了解是不是有什么东西正在困扰他们，比如家庭问题。”友善就像粗鲁一样，往往具有感染力。他说，人人往往容易对不怎么了解的人粗鲁相待。因此，如果把令人反感的同事变成朋友，可能有助于改善氛围。值得一试。

    3. 看看是否有正式的培训或指导。科恩表示，在很多大公司里，所谓的团队建设培训往往就是训练常规礼仪的委婉语。“它被称为合作培训。一开始，让每个人都有机会谈谈，什么因素会影响团队的表现”——包括普遍存在的不尊重人和粗鲁举止。“然后，由团队共同起草一些基本规则，白纸黑字，不是管理层或人力资源部门一手包办，而是所有人的共识，”他说。“这样，它就会形成一种自我监控。”

    如果你打算向人力资源部门（当然还有你的老板）提出这项建议，科恩表示，“不妨这样说，‘我认为，如果能进行一些合作培训，我们的绩效将能大大提高’，他们的反应会远比你说‘希望同事不要再那么讨厌’更为热烈。”

    如果这些都不能奏效，你还有最后两个选择：要么学会忽略那里的粗鲁文化，自觉不要陷入其中；要么想办法摆脱这个环境，换到其他部门或者另找一份工作（这可能比你想象的要容易，而且非常值得）。祝你好运。

    反馈：你在职场中遭遇过粗鲁的对待和无礼的行为吗？如果有过这样的经历，你是怎么应对的？请在下面留言。

    译者：老榆木

    How this plays out in a business environment, Cohen says, is that "there are no adverse consequences for being nasty. If your boss is rude, or tolerates rudeness from others, you will feel it is the way to get ahead. And everyone will just keep it up until someone takes a stand and says, 'Hey, this is just not acceptable.'"

    Launching a one-man crusade against incivility may seem quixotic, but Cohen suggests these three tactics:

    1. Be direct (and polite). Hard as it may be to fathom, "many people are truly not aware that they are being rude, or that their rudeness makes you uncomfortable," Cohen says. So consider taking the worst offenders aside, one by one, and "in a non-accusing, non-confrontational way, just tell them that, when they speak to you or to each other in a rude, hostile way, it makes it harder for you to get your work done." You may have to have this conversation more than once, but eventually it might sink in.

    2. Befriend the most belligerent. It may help to find out more about the people whose rudeness grates on you the most, Cohen says: "Discover their positive side, maybe over lunch or coffee. Understand if something is bothering them, maybe trouble at home." Being nice, like being nasty, is often contagious. It's easier to be rude to someone you don't know very well, he adds, so turning obnoxious coworkers into buddies may help civilize the atmosphere. It's worth a try.

    3. Find out if formal training or coaching is available. In many large companies, so-called team-building training is often a euphemism for coaching in common courtesy, Cohen notes. "It's called collaboration training. Very early in the process, everyone gets a chance to speak up about what is getting in the way of the team's performance" -- including pervasive disrespect and meanness. "The group then draws up a list of ground rules in writing, not dictated by management or HR, which everyone agrees to," he says. "It becomes self-monitoring."

    If you're going to approach human resources (and of course your boss) to propose this, Cohen adds, "frame it as, 'I think we could perform a lot better as a team if we had some collaboration training.' You'll get a much warmer reception than if you spell out that you're hoping to make your colleagues less nasty."

    If all else fails, you have two choices: Learn to ignore the crass culture there, and make a conscious effort not to let it drag you down; or else find some way to get out, either by moving somewhere else in the company or finding a job elsewhere (which may be easier than you think, and well worth the effort). Good luck.

    Talkback: Has rudeness and disrespect increased where you work? If so, how do you respond to it? Leave a comment below.