亲爱的安妮：一位朋友发给我一篇您最近在《财富》杂志（Fortune ）上的专栏文章，内容是关于女性应该学会如何“克服信心杀手”，以提高自己在职场上的知名度。虽然我是男性，但我非常认同您的观点，因为我总是太腼腆，不敢大声表达自己的观点。（上学的时候，我都没在课堂上举过手。）

    我给您写信的原因是因为今天早上开会的时候，就像过去无数次一样，对于团队目前面临的复杂问题，我想出了一个很棒的解决方案，而且我的想法是正确的。为什么这么说呢？因为我虽然一言未发，但坐在我旁边的同事却提出了完全一样的建议——而最终他被任命为这个项目的负责人。我希望得到这个位子已经很久了。这样的事情经常发生。很明显，我要想在这家公司有所突破必须开始多表达自己。但我该怎么做呢？您和您的读者有什么实用的建议吗？——Q.M

    亲爱的Q.M.：乔尔•加芬克尔说过：“员工平均每周将大约三分之一的工作时间用于开会，所以要想让自己的专业知识为人所知，会议是最好的时机。”加芬克尔是一名高管导师，曾指导过数十名像你一样不愿分享自己想法的管理者，他们来自谷歌（Google）、苹果（Apple）、甲骨文（Oracle）、微软（Microsoft）和许多其他公司。此外，加芬克尔还写过一本非常实用的书，或许会对你有所帮助，书名叫《领先之道：三步提升职业发展》（Getting Ahead: Three Steps to Take Your Career to the Next Level）。

    他发现，人们不愿表达自己的观点的原因多种多样，从单纯的害羞，到完美主义（希望在表达之前确定所有细节），再到害怕观点的冲突（认为提出不同意见，尤其是跟老板不同的意见风险太大）。但不论你是出于什么原因，加芬克尔为你提供了下列七条建议：

    1. 不要妄自菲薄，低估自己想法的价值。在你心仪已久的职位被别人抢走的那次会议上，你肯定（再一次）注意到，你确实有许多很好的想法。所以，下一次开会之前，对自己讲一些鼓舞士气的话。加芬克尔建议：“提醒自己所拥有的能力和知识。曾经因为别人的信任，你走到了现在。而眼下是该你相信自己的时候了。”

    2. 率先发言。加芬克尔建议：“每次开会的时候，都要寻找机会，尽早让其他人注意到你的存在，理想的时间是在会议开始后的十分钟内。”就算你的观点只是赞同其他人的观点，或添加一点信息而已。为什么呢？他解释道：“因为越早表达出自己的观点，留给自己产生自我怀疑的时间就越少。如果你总是推迟表达观点的时间，你就越难参与到讨论中去。”

    Dear Annie: A friend sent me a recent Fortune article about how women need to learn to "conquer confidence killers" in order to be more visible at work. I can really identify with that, even though I'm a guy, because I have always been too self-conscious to speak up and express my ideas. (Even as a student, I never raised my hand in class.)

    The reason I'm writing to you is that just this morning, for the thousandth time, I was in a meeting where I thought I had a great solution to a complicated problem my team is facing, and I was right. How do I know? Because I didn't say a word, but the guy sitting next to me suggested the same thing I was thinking -- and, as a result, got put in charge of a project I'd love to have been assigned. It's clear that, if I'm ever going to get anywhere at this company, I have to start talking more, but how? Do you or your readers have any practical suggestions? -- Quiet Man

    Dear Q.M.: "The average employee spends about one-third of his or her work week in meetings, so they're the best opportunity you have to make your expertise known," notes Joel Garfinkle, an executive coach who has worked with dozens of managers who, like you, were reluctant to share their ideas at Google (GOOG), Apple (AAPL), Oracle (ORCL), Microsoft (MSFT), and many other companies. Garfinkle also wrote a terrifically practical book you might want to check out, Getting Ahead: Three Steps to Take Your Career to the Next Level.

    People hesitate to speak up for all kinds of reasons, he observes, ranging from simple shyness, to perfectionism (wanting to have all the details nailed down before saying anything), to fear of confrontation (the belief that disagreeing, especially with a boss, is too risky). But, whatever is holding you back, Garfinkle offers these seven suggestions:

    1. Don't underestimate the value of your ideas. As you noticed (again) in that meeting where the other guy got the plum assignment, you do have a lot to contribute. So, before your next meeting, give yourself a little pep talk. "Remind yourself of your capability and knowledge," says Garfinkle. "Others believed in you enough to help you reach your current level. Now it's your turn to believe in yourself."

    2. Be among the first to speak. "Look for opportunities in each meeting to make your presence known early on, ideally in the first 10 minutes," Garfinkle suggests -- even if your remarks are just agreeing with, or adding a bit more information to, what someone else has said. Why? "The sooner you contribute, the less time you have to generate self-doubt," he says. "When you delay saying anything, it gets harder to break into the discussion."