亲爱的安妮：您关于（目前）《坚守岗位不跳槽的4个理由》 的文章引起了我的共鸣，因为我现在的老板快把我逼疯了。我也收到过其他的工作邀请，可再有18个月，我就能被纳入这家公司的固定收益退休金计划，所以我认为至少在此之前，我应该留下来。当然，这在一定程度上是因为，我在其他地方从未等到能享受这种福利就离开了。

    可问题在于，我的上司是“彼得原则”的典型代表——他的地位与他的能力完全不符——他犯过的错误不仅让公司蒙受了损失，也破坏了整个团队在高层和客户当中的信誉。而且，他没有一丝一毫的界线感，不分昼夜的给我发邮件或者短信，连周末也不放过，一遍遍地问一些并不紧急的事情。您能给我一些建议吗？——度日如年的人

亲爱的C：盖洛普民意调查（Gallup）最近对一百万美国员工进行了调查，结果显示，辞掉工作的人中，有75%是因为忍受不了顶头上司。听到这些，你应该不会感到惊讶了吧？

    波士顿职业发展公司凯斯通联合公司（Keystone Associates）高级副总裁兼高管导师杰恩•马特森称，这种情况非常可惜，因为只要一点真诚的沟通，就能解决你的一些烦恼。她说：“对于上司所犯的错误，许多人从来不会进行坦诚的交流。他们不会努力改善与上司的关系，而是选择离开——而通常情况下，他们在下一份工作当中也会重复同样的错误。”

    简而言之，你或许需要学会如何管理你的上司。马特森说：“要让自己更快乐，你可以做很多事情。如果你管理上司的方法得当，他或她甚至都不会有任何感觉。而你也会因为对上司有所帮助而获得加分。”她解释道，关键是通过强调他能获得哪些好处来得到你自己想要的东西。

    首先，来说一下不停发来的短信和邮件。睿仕管理咨询公司（Right Management）上个月进行的调查显示，约有三分之一（36%）的员工表示，上司在正常工作时间之外，依然用电子邮件对他们狂轰滥炸，另外有15%抱怨在周末和假期也有同样的遭遇。

    人们很容易把原因推到科技身上，而且你上司缺乏界线感，这确实是两个方面的原因——但你是否总是立刻回复，进而不经意中助长了这种做法？马特森说：“如果你收到每一条信息后便马上回复，这其实是在暗示‘我有空。’所以，以后不要这样做。”

    相反，要等到收件箱里积攒了五六封之后，再回复一条简短的信息：“我看到你有许多关于某某账户的问题。我们明天上午（或者周一上午）一早就来解决这个问题吧。我可以告诉你所有细节，然后我们可以讨论一下。”之后就不要再进行任何回复。

Dear Annie: Your column about staying in one's current job (for now) struck a chord with me, because I too am stuck working for a boss who drives me crazy. I've had a couple of other job offers, but I'm only 18 months away from being vested in this company's defined-benefit pension plan, and -- partly because I never stayed anywhere long enough to get vested before -- I think it would be smart to stick around at least until then.

    The problem is, I report to someone who is a classic example of the Peter Principle -- he's been promoted beyond his ability -- and he's making mistakes that are costing the company money and starting to damage our whole team's reputation with higher-ups and customers. He also has no sense of boundaries and emails or texts me at all hours of the day and night, and on weekends, over and over again, to ask about things that are not urgent at all. Do you have any suggestions for me? --Counting the Hours

Dear Counting: You probably won't be surprised to hear that about 75% of people who quit their jobs do so because they can't stand their bosses, according to a recent Gallup poll of more than a million U.S. employees.

    That's unfortunate, says Jayne Mattson, a senior vice president and executive coach at Boston-based career development firm Keystone Associates, because a little honest communication might go a long way toward fixing at least some of what bugs you. "So many people don't ever have a candid conversation with their boss about what's wrong," she notes. "Instead of trying to make the relationship better, they just leave -- and, too often, repeat the same mistake in their next job."

    In short, maybe you need to learn to manage your boss. "There are lots of things you can do to make yourself happier," says Mattson. "If you manage your boss well, he or she won't even realize you're doing it. You'll just get points for being really helpful." The key, she explains, is to get what you want by emphasizing how it would benefit him.

    First, let's talk about those incessant texts and emails. About one-third (36%) of employees in a poll last month by consultants Right Management said they work for people who bombard them with emails after regular work hours, and another 15% complained of the same thing on weekends and vacations.

    It's easy to blame technology, and your boss's lack of boundaries, since both play a part, for sure -- but are you unwittingly encouraging these intrusions by answering them right away? "If you respond to every message as soon as you receive it, you're indicating that you're available," says Mattson. "Don't do that."

    Instead, wait until five or six of them have piled up in your inbox and then respond with a brief message of your own: "I see you have lots of questions about the Ostrich account. Let's meet first thing tomorrow morning (or Monday morning), when I can give you all the details, and discuss it." Then stop answering.