亲爱的安妮：坦白讲，我之所以向您求助，是因为我曾在网上寻找问题的答案，却被五花八门的回答搞晕了。事情是这样的：我在五月底刚刚从大学毕业，在此之前从来没有从事过“真正的”工作（只做过实习生）。但现在我所在的一家小公司，却突然让我负责一支八个人的团队。

    在技术方面，我一点也不担心——这家公司之所以聘用我，是因为我在大四的一项发明，并且获得了专利，现在公司正在将这项专利开发成新的产品，但管理职责却让我彻夜难眠。我从来没有接受过相关培训，不知道如何给人当老板，我觉得人们一眼就能看出来我是虚张声势。您有什么好建议吗？——A.H.

    亲爱的A.H.：毫不出奇网络搜索结果让你不堪重负。你可能已经知道了，在谷歌搜索“管理”，能找到749,000,0000条结果。而那些大部分都不是你所需要的。随着你在职场不断前进，你将会发现管理者们在工作中让人讨厌的行为有很多。而，诺埃尔•尼尔森表示，你目前最需要做的，就只有五件事。

    尼尔森是一名临床心理学家，她为电子书《如何让坏上司为你所用》（Got a Bad Boss? Work That Boss to Get What You Want at Work）进行了一些研究，然后给出了建议行为清单。尼尔森表示，在某种程度上，要成为一名好的上司，其实就是“观察糟糕的上司都做了什么，然后反其道而行。”她给出的开创强力开局的五条基本法则如下：

    提供帮助，并且在需要的时候接受帮助。尼尔森说：“糟糕的上司永远不会帮助他人，也不会寻求帮助。他总是太缺乏安全感。他不希望让别人认为自己不知道所有问题的答案，或者他担心，如果自己帮助他人取得成功，对方会把所有功劳

    她说，你自己当然要竭尽所能，但“如果有某件事情需要援手，要毫不犹豫地寻求帮助。此外，要乐于助人，不要有任何附加条件，也不要让对方感觉受恩于你。帮助他人会为你赢得尊敬，进而帮助你更上一层楼。”

    做出负面反馈时要在私下里进行。尼尔森发现：“糟糕的上司总是喜欢当众对某人大声吼叫。她或许认为这是在展示自己的权威，但事实上，公开批评下属是无能的表现。”员工评估，尤其是对不太优秀的员工进行的评估， 不应该“在众目睽睽下进行。”

    将批评当作学习的机会。由于糟糕的老板缺乏安全感，因此，他们不愿意听从别人的建议，从而更明智、更迅速或以更低成本完成工作。但这种“要么听我的，要么滚蛋”的态度，通常会阻碍下属提出问题和反馈其遇到的困难，等到局面无法控制时已经为时已晚。那时，你会焦头烂额，疲于应付。

    要避免发生这种情况。尼尔森表示：“不论你认为事情进行得多么顺利，肯定会有人告诉你事实并非如此。要认真听取他人的反馈，尽可能收集有用的信息，然后集中精力将工作做得更好。”

    Dear Annie:I’m turning to you and your readers because, frankly, I’ve been all over the Internet researching my question and now I’m totally overwhelmed. The thing is, I just graduated from college at the end of May and I’ve never even had a “real” job before (just internships). But I’m now working for a small company where they immediately put me in charge of a team of eight people.

    The technical side of it doesn’t worry me at all—I was hired because of something I invented and patented during my senior year, which we’re now developing into a new product line—but the management part is keeping me awake nights. I’ve had no training at all in how to be a boss, and I think people can tell I’m just sort of faking it. Do you have any suggestions? — Amateur Hour

    Dear A.H.:It’s no wonder the Internet has left you overwhelmed. Google “management” and, as you probably already know, you get 749,000,000 hits. Happily, that’s way more than you need. As you get further along in your career, you’ll no doubt discover the many and varied ways that managers can be terrible at their jobs but, for now, says Noelle Nelson, you really only need to do five things.

    Nelson, a clinical psychologist, bases her list on the research she did for her e-book, Got a Bad Boss? Work That Boss to Get What You Want at Work. To some extent, it’s a matter of “looking at what really bad bosses do, and then doing the opposite,” Nelson says. Her five basic ways to get off to a strong start:

    Offer to help, and accept help when you need it.“A bad boss will never help others, or ask for help. He’s too insecure,” Nelson notes. “He doesn’t want to appear as if he doesn’t have all the answers or he fears that, if he helps someone to succeed, that person will get all the credit.”

    Do your best on your own, of course, but “when you need a hand with something, don’t hesitate to ask,” she says. “At the same time, help others willingly and graciously, with no strings attached and without making people feel indebted to you as a result. This will earn you the respect you’ll need on your way up.”

    If you have to give negative feedback, do it inprivate.“A bad boss has no problem with yelling at someone in front of everyone,” Nelson observes. “She may think she’s showing her authority, but in fact, criticizing people publicly is a sign of an incompetent manager.” Employee evaluations, especially less-than-stellar ones, are “not a spectator sport.”

    Take criticism as an opportunity to learn.Because bad bosses are insecure, they aren’t open to suggestions about how to do things smarter, faster, or cheaper. But a “my way or the highway” attitude will usually discourage people from telling you about problems and setbacks, until it’s too late to fix them and you’re up to your elbows in alligators.

    Avoid that. “There will be times, no matter how well you think things are going, that someone will tell you they’re not,” notes Nelson. “Listen up, glean as much useful information as you can, and then put your entire focus on doing better.”