不要把个人生活带到工作当中。尼尔森说道：“糟糕的老板，通常会将私人生活中的太多细节带入到职场。但办公室不是用于集体治疗的场所。设定界限非常重要，这样所有人才能尽职尽责，把全部精力投入到手头的任务上。”

    她补充道，如果团队中有人为个人问题所困扰，“你需要制定一项开放政策，让下属感觉他们可以与你交流自己的个人问题，此外，你要表现出同情。但你的职责应该是为团队成员推荐专业帮助，而不是亲自介入对方的问题。一旦你成为所有人的好友闺蜜，你作为上司的权威便会大打折扣。”

    永远不要散布流言蜚语。尼尔森表示：“对于有利于自己的流言蜚语，糟糕的上司在传播的时候从来不会三思。但谣言不仅是消极有害的，也会浪费你自己及公司的时间与精力，对于实现自己的目标也是毫无用处。”

    还有一点或许会对你有帮助：你提到，你认为团队成员能看出你是在“虚张声势”。这不见得是坏事。桑德勒培训公司（Sandler Training）对1,010名员工进行的最新调查显示，有80%的员工同意下面这种说法：“我们公司期望在没有正式培训的情况下，公司管理层仍然知道如何进行领导和管理。”桑德勒培训公司主要为中小型公司（与你所在的公司一样）提供培训服务。

    换言之，把一个人突然放到管理岗位上这种“不游则沉”的方式，是一种常见做法，而不是例外情况，而且很明显，大多数人都清楚这一点。此外，有超过70%的受访者表示，他们“喜欢”或“爱戴”他们的上司，这表明，不论是否已经做好准备，你都有可能成为一位好上司。祝你好运。

    反馈：要成为一位好上司，你认为需要具备哪些品质？你希望自己的上司会做（或不会做）哪些事情？欢迎评论。（财富中文网）

    翻译：刘进龙/汪皓

    Leave your personal life at home.“A bad boss will often inject way too many details of his or her private life into the workplace. But the office isn’t the place for group therapy,” Nelson says. “It’s important to set boundaries, so that everyone’s attention is where it belongs—on the task at hand.”

    If someone on your team is distracted by a personal problem, “you need to have an open-door policy, where people feel they can talk to you, and to be compassionate,” she adds. “But your role should be to refer team members to professional help, and not to get personally involved. If you become everyone’s buddy and confidant, your authority as the boss is undermined.”

    Don’t gossip. Ever.“Bad bosses never think twice about spreading rumors, especially nasty ones, if that’s advantageous to them,” Nelson observes. “But gossip is not only hurtful and destructive, it’s a waste of your time and energy—and the company’s—and does nothing to accomplish your goals.”

    One more thought that might help: You mention that you think your team members can tell you’re “kind of faking it.” That’s not necessarily bad. A new survey of 1,010 employees by Sandler Training, whose coaches work mainly with small-to-medium-sized companies (like yours), says 80% agreed with the following statement: “My company expects managers to know how to lead and manage without providing them any formal training.”

    In other words, a sink-or-swim approach to putting people in charge is more the norm than the exception, and most people apparently know that. Even so, over 70% of those surveyed said they “like” or “love” their boss, which suggests that, ready or not, it’s possible to be pretty good at this. Good luck.

    Talkback:What do you think it takes to be a great boss? Is there anything you wish your boss would do (or not do)? Leave a comment below.