怎么和孩子谈钱？

    然后，我想到了头一天晚上我的丈夫、兄弟和我因为高兴，喝酒助兴，花费远远超出了21.99美元。为什么不能让我的孩子也开心一下？

    事实或许让人难以接受，但除非我愿意让我们大家都过清苦的日子（但我们努力工作不正是为了过得好一点吗？），否则根本就没办法教孩子和我一样的节俭，当年我为了省下每罐鸡汤1.5美元的钱，曾经自己炖鸡骨头做高汤。如果我现在买的是密保诺（Ziploc）的品牌保鲜袋，孩子们将来也会买密保诺保鲜袋，而不是普通保鲜袋。

    不过，这也不全是坏事，我不知道我能省就省的观念，究竟是因为节俭是一个优秀品质，还是因为看多了个人理财资料。它有它的好处：我除了按揭贷款外从未有过其他债务。但也有弊端，我在慈善捐款和礼物馈赠方面总是有所节制。

    由于请人照看孩子的费用不菲，在请人方面我总是能拖就拖，结果导致我无法全身心追求职业发展，还给我们的婚姻带来了很大的压力。我也不愿在我的事业方面进行投资，比如雇几个助手或进行付费宣传，因为我总是告诉自己，我自己做，就可以把钱省下来。可是有时事情做得并不如意，更多情况下根本就没做。

    我想告诉孩子们，如果不是为了实现更大的目标，为节省而节省并不是一项美德。金钱具有强大的力量，但并不是因为数目，而是因为金钱能做到很多事情。有时候，我们必须要承担风险，有时候面对重要的事情该花就得花。

    其中也包括孩子们的快乐。我不确定将来等他们工作时，决定经济的因素是什么。必须得为未来做好计划，但如果未来不可知，也可以适当享受现在。我试图在省吃俭用和铺张浪费之间找到适当的平衡点——使金钱褪去浮华，成为我们实现人生梦想的工具。可惜的是这个道理很难在玩具区给孩子讲明白。

    劳拉•范德卡姆是财富网站（Fortune.com）的定期供稿人，上周她撰写的新书《最幸福的人：金钱世界的收支之道》（All the Money in the World: What the Happiest People Know About Getting and Spending）已经上架销售。

    译者：老榆木

    Then I remembered that my husband, brother, and I had spent much more than $21.99 on drinks the night before, because we were having fun. Why can't my kid have his fun, too?

    The hard truth is that unless I'm willing to impose austerity on all of us -- an austerity we have worked hard to avoid -- there is just no way to teach my kids the same flintiness that once manifested itself in my boiling chicken bones to make soup stock to save the $1.50 a can. If I now buy name brand Ziploc bags, my kids will learn to buy Ziploc bags, rather than the generic kind.

    But that's not all bad, because I'm not sure that my temperamental cheapness is as noble a trait, overall, as much personal finance literature makes it out to be. It has its upside: I've never had any debt beyond a mortgage. But it has its downsides, too. I give less generously than I would like, to charity and with gifts.

    I put off hiring as much childcare as we needed, because it was expensive, but that made it harder to build my career, and put a lot of strain on my marriage. I have been reluctant to invest in the business side of my work, by hiring assistants or paying for publicity, because I tell myself I could "save" money by doing it myself. Except then it gets done badly or (more often) doesn't get done.

    I want to teach my children that frugality is not a virtue in its own right, divorced from any larger goal. Money is powerful not because of anything inherent in these numbers, but because of what it can do. Sometimes we have to take risks, and sometimes we should invest in things that matter.

    That can include the happiness of our children. I'm not sure what forces will shape the economy they'll eventually work in. You have to plan for the future, but if the future is unknowable, there is something to be said for enjoying today as well. I'm trying to figure out the right balance between squirreling and profligacy -- that magic point where money is stripped of the drama, and becomes a tool for building the lives we want. Too bad that's hard to teach in the toy aisle.

    Laura Vanderkam is a regular contributor to Fortune.com and the author of All the Money in the World: What the Happiest People Know About Getting and Spending, out this week.