性别定势思维：女儿给父亲上的一堂课

    听到这个理由后，我立刻不耐烦地回答道：“你应该早点儿告诉我。”我用相当严厉的语气提醒她别忘了我们告诉她的那些女性科学家。我甚至问我妻子能不能把女儿的选择改成和科学、技术、工程或数学有关的题目。妻子告诉我，来不及了。

    现在我意识到，我本该早早地问问女儿她想选哪个课题。由于没有这样做，我让过时的社会风气对她产生了影响，却没能帮她“向前一步”，选一个她喜欢的课题。女儿对科学的看法受到了一种思维定式的蒙蔽，我却没能打破这种思维定式，甚至对这样的情况所知甚少。可靠的研究表明，父亲的作用能让女儿接触到科学、技术、工程或数学，这让我备感自责。对于这个错误，我能找出很多借口。比如，女儿做出选择时我正在出差；古代文明是个好题目；多学几门课是明智之举；她只有10岁；明年还有机会；我们是人，因此容易受到下意识思维倾向的左右，诸如此类。

    但所有这些借口都不能掩盖这样一个令人不安的事实：虽然我有这样的意识和打算，但面对有可能阻碍这些小女孩涉足科学、技术、工程或数学领域的情况时，我没能预先采取措施。不过我也看到了一线希望。这个错误不光让我得到了一个尴尬的教训，它还给了我们这个家庭一次绝佳的机会，从而让我们共同就一个重要问题进行深入的思考。通过这件事，我们将来可以更多地探讨下意识思维倾向和有害的思维定式。

    谁知道呢，在犯了这个错误并从中吸取教训后，也许今后我们就有可能避免更严重、影响更深远的错误。另外顺便说一下，这个问题似乎已经得到了解决。女儿告诉我她发现古代文明“有点儿枯燥”，她觉得自己应该选一个和科学、技术、工程或数学有关的课题。而这就是她明年夏天的计划。（财富中文网）

    译者：Charlie

    On the spot, I responded in an impatient fashion: "I wish you had told me this before," I said to her in a rather stern tone, reminding her about all the women scientists we had exposed her to. I even asked my wife if we could change our daughter's choice back to a STEM subject. Too late, my wife told me.

    I realize now that I should have asked my daughter much earlier about her upcoming choice of topic at camp. As a result, rather than help my daughter "lean in" and pursue a topic she loved, I allowed outdated societal modes to distract her. I failed to counter, much less acknowledge, a stereotype that clouded the lens through which my daughter viewed science. And I feel doubly bad given the solid research that speaks to the role that fathers can have in influencing their daughters' approach to STEM.

    I can make lots of excuses for my slip. I was traveling when she first made the choice; ancient civilization is a good topic; subject diversification is wise; she is only 10; there is always next year; we are human and easily fall victim to unconscious biases, etc.

    Yet none of these excuses speak to an inconvenient truth: Despite my awareness and engagement, I stumbled when it came to preempting a bias that risks derailing girls from STEM fields at an early age.

    There is a silver lining here. The slip-up has more than taught me an embarrassing lesson: It has afforded our family a great opportunity to think, collectively and deeply, about a really important issue. As a result, we will be having even more discussions about unconscious biases and damaging stereotypes.

    Who knows, by making and learning from this mistake, maybe a potentially a bigger one with longer-lasting ramifications will be avoided down the road. And by the way, it looks like things are working out. My daughter told me that she found ancient civilization "a little boring" and she wishes she had taken a STEM course. Next summer, that's her plan.