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被家长逼到了崩溃的边缘:一名教师在工作24年后辞职

SUNNY NAGPAUL
2024-07-13

许多学校教师,尤其是那些在低收入地区工作的教师,都在努力管理大班教室,同时还要面对家长们的高期望值,他们认为这些期望是不切实际的。

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时年60岁的教师布伦达·C(Brenda C.)在过去24年里一直在教授七年级和八年级的课程,出于隐私考虑,她要求《财富》杂志不要透露她的姓氏。但来自家长期望的压力,加上多年来对学生行为支持的不足,将她逼到了崩溃的边缘。

她在TikTok上发布的一段视频中表示,她的目标是在退休前完成本学年教学,但她发现与难缠的家长周旋的压力让她难以承受。

她在视频中说:“家长们,你们不要再纠缠老师了。”

许多学校教师,尤其是那些在低收入地区工作的教师,都在努力管理大班教室,同时还要面对家长们的高期望,他们认为这些期望是不切实际的。由于高度的职业倦怠和压力导致教师短缺(疫情使这一情况变得更糟),一些教师鼓励那些陷入困境的教师不要完全离开这一行业,而是要找到能够为教师和学生提供适当支持的学区,以维持职业生涯的可持续性。

布伦达职业生涯的大部分时间都在加州湾区的不同地区教授初中生英语语言艺术和社会学。她在上一份工作待了不到一年,那是在一个被她称为“中下阶层”的地区,那里有很多军人子女,她形容这些人“极其地短暂地参与子女教育”。

她说,在这个地区,“有更多父母不在身边,或者因为在军队服役和搬家而不太参与孩子的教育。”这与她之前工作了12年的学区形成了鲜明的对比,那个学区也在湾区,却是一个“富裕的地区”,学生的行为问题较少。

由于她已经到了崩溃的边缘,布伦达在2月14日递交了辞职信,此时距离学年正式结束(6月)还有几个月。她对《财富》杂志表示:“我母亲在老家身体出现问题,而我刚刚开了一次非常糟糕的家长会,我实在无法忍受了。在那天之前,我已经考虑辞职好几年了,但每个人都会有忍耐的极限,对我来说,心理健康比继续工作对我来说更重要。”

关于那次家长会,她说,“我正被逼到崩溃的边缘,结果那位家长说了一些类似于‘你应该满足我孩子的需求’的话,这让我很生气,因为在一个有34个孩子、34个不同需求的房间里,这是不可能发生的。”

她在视频中说:“有些家长都很难满足一个孩子的需求。想象一下,同时满足34个人的需求。”

许多其他教师对此感同身受,其中包括圣路易斯东郊都会区的32岁教师萨拉·普(Sarah Pugh)。普在过去的10年里一直在教小学生,她认为,对于那些没有为教师和学生提供足够支持的地区的教师来说,教师们的压力会更大(可能正在努力解决导致行为问题的问题)。

普对《财富》杂志表示:“问题在于,提供这些额外的支持需要资金,而学校的经费已经很紧张了。”她补充道,“那位老师说一个教室里有34名学生。我的班级规模通常是20名学生,我们优先考虑小班教学,以帮助更好地满足学生的需求。不是每个学区都有资金这么做。”

普在目前所在的学区教三年级已经有五年时间了,有750名学前班阶段至四年级的学生。她形容这个学区“非常多元化,无论是种族还是经济方面,有很多低收入住房”。她说,这些情况通常意味着孩子们面临家庭贫困的压力,包括住房不稳定、心理创伤和单亲家庭,也意味着一些父母无法花足够的时间教授孩子们所需的核心行为技能。

她解释说:“在很多单亲家庭中,父母勉强维持生计,所以不一定是他们希望老师包办一切,但因维持生计所需,通常应由家长教的一些技能被抛在脑后。”

普认为,“孩子成功的最大关键是老师和家长作为一个团队共同努力”,尤其是在解决孩子们学习如何谈论自己的感受、管理自己的情绪以及与他人互动时出现的行为问题时。生活在经济困难地区的学生,包括普和布伦达曾任教的地区,可能会因贫困压力而产生行为问题,包括难以自我调节情绪和寻求关注的行为,这些行为可能会扰乱课堂秩序。

她说:“每个班级的情况都不一样,因为每个孩子的情况也都不一样。”她发现在“礼仪、在对话时轮流发言、不乱碰不属于自己的东西以及如何处理与其他学生的冲突”方面最常出现行为问题。

普说,她的大多数学生都没有出现过严重的问题,但“在我任教的第一年,曾经有人对她大吼大叫。”

这些行为问题也可能多年得不到解决,导致孩子们即使到了青少年时期,也无法完全学会自我调节情绪以及与其他学生交往的基本技巧。教了二十多年初中的布伦达就遇到了这种情况。

她告诉《财富》杂志:“有些刚入学的孩子在情感、社交和精神方面都有很多缺陷。我们并不是来当光荣的保姆、心理医生、牧师或拉比的。”

毋庸置疑的是,根据美国教育部(U.S Department of Education)2022年的一份报告,高水平的压力和职业倦怠正导致大批教师离开这个行业,并导致41个州和华盛顿特区至少有一个学科领域或年级出现教师短缺。

由堪萨斯州立大学(Kansas State University)副教授、研究员阮俊(Tuan Nguyen)牵头进行的研究显示,目前的教师缺口达5.5万,另有27万个教学职位目前由资质不达标的教师填补。

咨询和研究公司盖洛普(Gallup)对1.2万多名美国全职员工进行的一项调查显示,与高等教育、金融和零售等其他几个行业的员工相比,教师(尤其是指导学前班阶段至12年级的教师)的倦怠程度最高。调查显示,约52%指导学前班阶段至12年级教师表示,他们在工作中“总是”或“经常”感到精疲力竭,而高等教育行业的这一比例为35%,零售业的这一比例为32%。

普认为,为有行为问题的学生提供更多支持,对于减轻教师不必要的压力和切实改善问题行为至关重要,她所在的学区在某种程度上能够成为其他学区改进工作的典范。

2022学年伊始,她所在的学区推出了一个名为“培养坚强品格”(Character Strong)的项目,每周安排一节课,教孩子们如何说出自己的需求,以及如何以尊重和安全的方式处理强烈情绪或挫折。

她说:“教育系统正在推动制定更多的社会情感学习标准,我已经发现这个项目对我班上的学生有所帮助。”

她说,普所在的学区还雇佣了两名全职社工,在两三名学生的小环境中引导学生进行社会情感学习,而她之前所在的学区只有一名社工,“每周来一次,花半天时间,但如果你有很多行为方面的需求,这是不够的。”

普认为,她所在的学区还有其他一些行之有效的做法,包括行政人员积极让教师参与重要决策,如家长会和对学生的纪律处分,并给予教师时间(带薪)参加发展培训,比如如何与经历创伤的儿童打交道等。

对于那些在家长期望和学校支持不足的压力下苦苦挣扎的老师,普提供了一些忠告:“换一个学区,而不是完全放弃这份工作,因为并不是所有的学校都是这样的。你只需要找到好学校。”(财富中文网)

译者:中慧言-王芳

时年60岁的教师布伦达·C(Brenda C.)在过去24年里一直在教授七年级和八年级的课程,出于隐私考虑,她要求《财富》杂志不要透露她的姓氏。但来自家长期望的压力,加上多年来对学生行为支持的不足,将她逼到了崩溃的边缘。

她在TikTok上发布的一段视频中表示,她的目标是在退休前完成本学年教学,但她发现与难缠的家长周旋的压力让她难以承受。

她在视频中说:“家长们,你们不要再纠缠老师了。”

许多学校教师,尤其是那些在低收入地区工作的教师,都在努力管理大班教室,同时还要面对家长们的高期望,他们认为这些期望是不切实际的。由于高度的职业倦怠和压力导致教师短缺(疫情使这一情况变得更糟),一些教师鼓励那些陷入困境的教师不要完全离开这一行业,而是要找到能够为教师和学生提供适当支持的学区,以维持职业生涯的可持续性。

布伦达职业生涯的大部分时间都在加州湾区的不同地区教授初中生英语语言艺术和社会学。她在上一份工作待了不到一年,那是在一个被她称为“中下阶层”的地区,那里有很多军人子女,她形容这些人“极其地短暂地参与子女教育”。

她说,在这个地区,“有更多父母不在身边,或者因为在军队服役和搬家而不太参与孩子的教育。”这与她之前工作了12年的学区形成了鲜明的对比,那个学区也在湾区,却是一个“富裕的地区”,学生的行为问题较少。

由于她已经到了崩溃的边缘,布伦达在2月14日递交了辞职信,此时距离学年正式结束(6月)还有几个月。她对《财富》杂志表示:“我母亲在老家身体出现问题,而我刚刚开了一次非常糟糕的家长会,我实在无法忍受了。在那天之前,我已经考虑辞职好几年了,但每个人都会有忍耐的极限,对我来说,心理健康比继续工作对我来说更重要。”

关于那次家长会,她说,“我正被逼到崩溃的边缘,结果那位家长说了一些类似于‘你应该满足我孩子的需求’的话,这让我很生气,因为在一个有34个孩子、34个不同需求的房间里,这是不可能发生的。”

她在视频中说:“有些家长都很难满足一个孩子的需求。想象一下,同时满足34个人的需求。”

许多其他教师对此感同身受,其中包括圣路易斯东郊都会区的32岁教师萨拉·普(Sarah Pugh)。普在过去的10年里一直在教小学生,她认为,对于那些没有为教师和学生提供足够支持的地区的教师来说,教师们的压力会更大(可能正在努力解决导致行为问题的问题)。

普对《财富》杂志表示:“问题在于,提供这些额外的支持需要资金,而学校的经费已经很紧张了。”她补充道,“那位老师说一个教室里有34名学生。我的班级规模通常是20名学生,我们优先考虑小班教学,以帮助更好地满足学生的需求。不是每个学区都有资金这么做。”

普在目前所在的学区教三年级已经有五年时间了,有750名学前班阶段至四年级的学生。她形容这个学区“非常多元化,无论是种族还是经济方面,有很多低收入住房”。她说,这些情况通常意味着孩子们面临家庭贫困的压力,包括住房不稳定、心理创伤和单亲家庭,也意味着一些父母无法花足够的时间教授孩子们所需的核心行为技能。

她解释说:“在很多单亲家庭中,父母勉强维持生计,所以不一定是他们希望老师包办一切,但因维持生计所需,通常应由家长教的一些技能被抛在脑后。”

普认为,“孩子成功的最大关键是老师和家长作为一个团队共同努力”,尤其是在解决孩子们学习如何谈论自己的感受、管理自己的情绪以及与他人互动时出现的行为问题时。生活在经济困难地区的学生,包括普和布伦达曾任教的地区,可能会因贫困压力而产生行为问题,包括难以自我调节情绪和寻求关注的行为,这些行为可能会扰乱课堂秩序。

她说:“每个班级的情况都不一样,因为每个孩子的情况也都不一样。”她发现在“礼仪、在对话时轮流发言、不乱碰不属于自己的东西以及如何处理与其他学生的冲突”方面最常出现行为问题。

普说,她的大多数学生都没有出现过严重的问题,但“在我任教的第一年,曾经有人对她大吼大叫。”

这些行为问题也可能多年得不到解决,导致孩子们即使到了青少年时期,也无法完全学会自我调节情绪以及与其他学生交往的基本技巧。教了二十多年初中的布伦达就遇到了这种情况。

她告诉《财富》杂志:“有些刚入学的孩子在情感、社交和精神方面都有很多缺陷。我们并不是来当光荣的保姆、心理医生、牧师或拉比的。”

毋庸置疑的是,根据美国教育部(U.S Department of Education)2022年的一份报告,高水平的压力和职业倦怠正导致大批教师离开这个行业,并导致41个州和华盛顿特区至少有一个学科领域或年级出现教师短缺。

由堪萨斯州立大学(Kansas State University)副教授、研究员阮俊(Tuan Nguyen)牵头进行的研究显示,目前的教师缺口达5.5万,另有27万个教学职位目前由资质不达标的教师填补。

咨询和研究公司盖洛普(Gallup)对1.2万多名美国全职员工进行的一项调查显示,与高等教育、金融和零售等其他几个行业的员工相比,教师(尤其是指导学前班阶段至12年级的教师)的倦怠程度最高。调查显示,约52%指导学前班阶段至12年级教师表示,他们在工作中“总是”或“经常”感到精疲力竭,而高等教育行业的这一比例为35%,零售业的这一比例为32%。

普认为,为有行为问题的学生提供更多支持,对于减轻教师不必要的压力和切实改善问题行为至关重要,她所在的学区在某种程度上能够成为其他学区改进工作的典范。

2022学年伊始,她所在的学区推出了一个名为“培养坚强品格”(Character Strong)的项目,每周安排一节课,教孩子们如何说出自己的需求,以及如何以尊重和安全的方式处理强烈情绪或挫折。

她说:“教育系统正在推动制定更多的社会情感学习标准,我已经发现这个项目对我班上的学生有所帮助。”

她说,普所在的学区还雇佣了两名全职社工,在两三名学生的小环境中引导学生进行社会情感学习,而她之前所在的学区只有一名社工,“每周来一次,花半天时间,但如果你有很多行为方面的需求,这是不够的。”

普认为,她所在的学区还有其他一些行之有效的做法,包括行政人员积极让教师参与重要决策,如家长会和对学生的纪律处分,并给予教师时间(带薪)参加发展培训,比如如何与经历创伤的儿童打交道等。

对于那些在家长期望和学校支持不足的压力下苦苦挣扎的老师,普提供了一些忠告:“换一个学区,而不是完全放弃这份工作,因为并不是所有的学校都是这样的。你只需要找到好学校。”(财富中文网)

译者:中慧言-王芳

Brenda C., a 60-year-old teacher who asked Fortune to withhold her last name due to privacy concerns, has taught grades 7 and 8 for the last 24 years. But stress from parental expectations, combined with years of inadequate behavioral support for her students, drove her to a breaking point.

Her goal was to make it to the end of the school year before she retired, she said in a video posted on TikTok, but found the stress of navigating difficult parents to be unbearable.

“Parents,” she said in the video, “you need to get off the backs of your teachers.”

Many school teachers—especially those who work in low-income areas—are struggling to manage large classrooms along with high expectations from parents that they feel are unrealistic. As high levels of burnout and stress are driving a teacher shortage (made worse by the pandemic), some teachers are encouraging those struggling not to leave the profession entirely, and instead find districts that offer both teachers and students the proper support they need to maintain a sustainable career.

Brenda spent the majority of her career teaching English language arts and social studies to middle schoolers in different districts around California’s Bay Area. She spent less than a year at her last job, which was in a district she described as “lower-middle class,” with a lot of children of military parents, who she described as “very transient.”

In the district, she said, “you have more absent parents, or parents who are not as involved in their children’s education because they’re in the military and they’re moving.” It’s a stark contrast to the district she previously worked at for 12 years, which was also in the Bay Area, but was “an affluent district,” where students had fewer behavioral problems.

Brenda submitted her letter of resignation on February 14, months before the school year officially ends in June, because she hit a breaking point. “My mom was having health issues back home and I just had a really bad parent meeting, and I had just had it,” she told Fortune, adding, “I had been thinking about resigning for quite a few years prior to that day, but everybody’s got a breaking point in life and my mental health was more important to me at that point than continuing.”

On the meeting, she said, “I was going into it burnt to the crisp, and the parent said something to the affect of, ‘you’re supposed to meet my child’s needs,’ and that’s what set me off, because that’s not going to happen in a room of 34 children with 34 different needs.”

“There are some parents who struggle meeting the needs of one child,” she said in her video. “Imagine trying to meet the needs of 34 all at the same time.”

It’s a sentiment many other teachers can empathize with, including Sarah Pugh, a 32-year-old teacher based in the Metro East suburban area of St. Louis. Pugh, who has been teaching elementary school students for the last 10 years, believes these stresses are much harder for teachers in districts that don’t offer enough support for instructors and students who may be struggling with issues that cause behavioral problems.

“The issue is those extra supports cost money—and schools are already tight on money,” Pugh told Fortune, adding, “that teacher talked about having 34 students in a classroom. My class sizes are normally 20 students, and we prioritize having smaller classes to help meet the students’ needs better. Not everyone has the money to do that.”

Pugh has taught third grade at her current school district, which covers 750 children in grades K-4, for five years now, and describes the district as “very diverse, both racially and economic-wise, with a lot of low-income housing.” These situations, she said, often mean children face stresses of poverty at home, including housing instability, trauma, and single-parent households—and also means some parents aren’t able to spend as much time teaching their children core behavioral skills they need.

“In a lot of single-parent households, parents are overstretched trying to make all the ends meet,” she explained, “so it’s not necessarily that they are expecting the teachers to do everything, but some of those things that normally a parent would be teaching gets left behind for survival instincts.”

Pugh believes the “biggest key to a child’s success is teachers and parents working together as a team,” especially when it comes to addressing behavioral issues that come as children learn how to talk about their feelings, manage their emotions, and interact with others. Students who live in economically-challenged areas, including the districts Pugh and Brenda have taught in, can have behavioral issues that arise from the stresses of poverty, including difficulty self-regulating emotions and attention-seeking behavior that can disrupt classes.

“It varies from classroom to classroom because all kids are different,” she said. “Things like manners, taking turns in conversations, keeping hands to themselves and how to handle conflicts with another student” are some of the most common behavioral issues she sees.

Pugh said she doesn’t experience serious issues with the majority of her students, but has “been growled at in the past during my first year of teaching.”

These behavioral problems can also go unaddressed for years, creating situations where children never quite learn the basics of self-regulating their emotions and interacting with other students even as they become teenagers. That’s the situation Brenda, who has taught middle school for over two decades, found herself in.

“Some children are coming into school with so many emotional, social, and spiritual deficits,” she told Fortune, adding, “We didn’t sign up to be a glorified babysitter, psychiatrist, priest or rabbi.”

To be sure, high levels of stress and burnout is driving an exodus of teachers out of the profession and has contributed to a shortage of teachers in at least one subject area or grade level in 41 states and Washington D.C., according to a 2022 U.S Department of Education report.

Studies led by researcher Tuan Nguyen, an associate professor at Kansas State University, place the current teacher shortage at 55,000 vacant positions and an additional 270,000 teaching posts currently filled by underqualified teachers.

Teachers, especially those who instruct grades K-12, also report some of the highest levels of burnout than workers in several other industries, including higher education, finance, and retail, according to a poll of over 12,000 full-time U.S. employees by consulting and research company Gallup. The poll shows about 52% of K-12 teachers report feeling burned out “always” or “very often” at work, compared to 35% of employees in higher education and 32% of employees in retail sectors.

Pugh believes more support for students with behavioral problems is paramount for reducing needless stress for teachers and actually improving the problematic behaviors—and her district could be somewhat of a model for improvements other districts could make.

At the start of the 2022 school year, her district launched a program called “Character Strong,” a weekly lesson that teaches kids how to speak up about their needs and handle intense emotions or frustrations in respectful and safe ways.

“The education system is pushing for more social emotional learning standards,” she said, “and I’ve seen that program help students in my class.”

Pugh’s district also employs two full-time social workers who lead social emotional learning in small settings of two or three students, she said, while her previous district had a social worker who would “come in once a week for half a day, but if you have a lot of behavior needs, that’s not enough.”

Other things Pugh thinks work well in her district include administrative staff that actively involves teachers in important decisions, like parent-teacher meetings and disciplinary action for students, and being given paid time to attend development training in areas like how to engage with children experiencing trauma.

For other teachers who are struggling with the stress of parental expectations and inadequate support at school, Pugh offers some tender advice: “Move districts instead of just giving up the job entirely because not all schools are like that. You just have to find the good ones.”

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