亲爱的安妮：一年前，我爱人被裁员。从那之后，为了增加家里的收入，我开始兼职做一些咨询工作。我发现，我真的非常喜欢这份工作，甚至想把它当作全职来做。问题是，现在我该怎么跟老板说呢？

    迄今为止，我做咨询工作都是尽量利用自己晚上和周末的业余时间，同时非常谨慎地避免利用公司资源来做兼职项目。（我都是在家里开展咨询业务，用的也是单独的电子邮件地址、电话线等。）但是，如果我不把这件事告诉老板，好像显得不够诚实。尤其是，我们还是朋友。我是不是有义务告诉他这件事呢？——双面人

    亲爱的双面人：这得看具体情况了。你们公司有没有相关的正式管理制度，要求你必须公开你的兼职工作（比如许多大学和公司就会有这样的规定）？或者，你是否签署过要求公开兼职信息的劳动合同呢？

    如果有的话，那么你应该这么做：保持沉默。风险是你可能会失去目前的工作，比计划中更快地成为一名全职咨询师。

    《朝九晚五疗法：改造你的人生——做你所想》（The 9-to-5 Cure: Work on Your Own Terms and Reinvent Your Life）一书的作者克里斯汀•卡迪纳雷认为，即便没有制度或者合同要求你公开兼职工作情况，但是，由于你跟老板还是朋友关系，“这里就涉及一个信任的问题。”

    卡迪纳雷对身兼数职的情况了如指掌。她本身既是美国密尔沃基市的一名职业导师，教授大学课程，同时还创办和经营着一家技术支持公司，以及一家全国性的会议公司。

    卡迪纳雷表示：“为了获得主动，你可以告诉老板你正在做的事情，以避免他从别的途径得知，而使情况变得更加棘手。因为他可能会认为，你是在背着他这么做，这肯定不是你想要的结果。”

    但是，把你正在做的事情告诉他，并不意味着你必须得解释原因。在这种情况下，你的表达方式非常重要（在其他情况下也是如此）。卡迪纳雷强调，如果你说：“我已经开始了自己的咨询业务，并且正努力把它变成一份全职生意。”这肯定行不通，因为，“如果你那么说，你的老板肯定会认为，你呆在他的公司只是权宜之计，随时会离开。”

    所以，告诉他你目前的咨询项目，但不要提及你的长期规划。卡迪纳雷表示：“如果你告诉他，你获得了一份兼职工作，并且强调这只是短期的——比如，只是接下来的一两个月——而且你还要强调，这会提高你的专业技能，这样你需要承担的风险就会很小，甚至根本没有风险。”

    她补充道：“而且，你说的也都是真话。除非你已经决定了，要开始全职开展咨询业务，否则，你只不过是在摸索而已。”

    另外，你目前的情况并不少见。2010年，据美国劳工统计局报告，约350万美国人，即工作人口的4.5%，在从事一份全职工作的同时，也在从事副业。对于与你有类似情况的人，卡迪纳雷给出了三条建议：

    1. 在从事兼职工作时，只能利用自己的资源，绝对不要占用老板的资源。虽然你已经在这么做了，但是这一点还是值得再次强调。在公司系统内给咨询客户发电子邮件，或者利用工作时间来完成兼职工作，这会让你丢掉饭碗。

    2.向客户申明你的兼职时间。卡迪纳雷建议：“事先跟你的兼职客户说明，你正在从事全职工作，在正常工作时间，可能不一定能提供服务。”尽管模糊时间的界限听上去很诱人，但你应该把全职工作放在首要位置——除非你决定辞职。

    3. 量力而行。在安排时间时，要给自己留下调整的余地，这样才不会让你心力交瘁。卡迪纳雷表示：“很大程度上，咨询工作靠客户相互推荐。所以，你肯定希望能有足够的精力，为客户提供最优质的服务，这样他们才会把你推荐给其他人。”

    她补充道，之所以让你量力而行，另外一个原因是，“既然你现在还在摸索阶段，你的兼职工作应该成为一种积极的经验，而不是让你筋疲力尽。”对于你目前应付不了的业务，还是婉拒吧，不用担心：“如果你设定了可以胜任的业务范围，那么，当你真正接手一个项目的时候，你就能更出色地把它完成——实际上，你这么做，你的客户会更尊重你。”

    祝你好运！

    Dear Annie: Ever since my spouse got laid off about a year ago, I've been supplementing our income by taking on some consulting work in addition to my regular job. I've found that I really enjoy it, and eventually I'd like to segue into it as a full-time occupation. The question is, what do I tell my boss in the meantime?

    So far, I've managed to fit my consulting work into my own time on evenings and weekends, and I'm very careful to avoid the use of any company resources for outside projects. (My consulting business is home-based and has a separate email address, phone line, etc.) Still, it seems dishonest not to mention to my boss that I'm doing this, especially since we are friends. Do I have an obligation to tell him? — Double Agent

    Dear Double: That depends. Does your employer have a formal policy requiring that you disclose any outside employment (as many universities and some companies do), or do you have an employment contract that calls for disclosure?

    If so, the decision is made for you: By keeping mum about your part-time gig, you run the risk of becoming a full-time consultant sooner than you planned.

    But even if not, particularly since your boss is also your friend, "there's a trust factor involved," says Kristin Cardinale, author of a book called The 9-to-5 Cure: Work on Your Own Terms and Reinvent Your Life.

    Cardinale knows a thing or two about wearing multiple hats. A Milwaukee-based career coach who also teaches college courses, she founded and runs both a tech support company and a national seminar firm.

    "As a pre-emptive move, you could tell your boss what you're doing, just to avoid a potentially sticky situation if he hears about it some other way," Cardinale says. "You don't want to seem to be doing this behind his back."

    Telling him what you're doing doesn't mean, however, that you have to reveal why. In these situations, as in so many others, how you phrase it makes all the difference. Saying "I've started my own consulting practice, and I'm working on building it into a full-time business" would probably be a mistake, since "putting it that way is likely to make your boss start thinking of you as temporary and on your way out," Cardinale notes.

    Instead, mention a current consulting project without bringing up your long-term plan. "There is little to no risk involved in saying you've taken on an outside gig if you emphasize that it's short-term -- say, for the next couple of months -- and if you stress how it's helping you sharpen your professional skills," says Cardinale.

    "And you're not saying anything untrue," she adds. "After all, until you are ready to make the leap into full-time consulting, you're still just exploring."

    By the way, this situation is less unusual than you may think. In 2010, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, about 3.5 million Americans, or 4.5% of the workforce, held a full-time job while also pursuing a part-time sideline. For anyone considering doing likewise, Cardinale offers three tips:

    1. Be fanatical about using your own resources, not your employer's, for outside work. You're already doing this, but the point bears repeating. Emailing consulting clients on the company's system, or devoting time during work hours to meeting an outside deadline, can get you sacked.

    2. Clearly define your availability. "Be upfront with your outside clients about the fact that you're working full-time and may not always be reachable during regular business hours," Cardinale advises. Tempting as it may be to let the boundaries blur, your full-time job has to be your top priority -- at least until you decide to leave it.

    3. Don't bite off more than you can chew. Build some breathing room into your schedule so you don't burn out. "Consulting works on referrals. You want to have enough energy to give clients your best work, so they'll recommend you to others," Cardinale says.

    Another reason not to take on too much at once is that "while you're still trying this out, it should be a positive experience, not one that leaves you exhausted," she adds. Don't worry about turning away business that, realistically, you can't handle right now: "If you set limits -- so that, when you do take on a project, you can give it your very best -- clients will actually respect you more."

    Good luck!