亲爱的安妮：我喜欢我的工作，我也刚刚获得升职，但现在我碰到了一个难题。过去三年里，我一直试图加入我非常心仪的公司，但却未能如愿。但现在那家公司给了我一个无法拒绝的工作机会。我知道现在的老板会生气，但我不能失去这个机会。如何知会公司我的离职，对于这个问题，你有什么建议吗？ — 炙手可热

    亲爱的“炙手可热”：确实，刚刚获得升职就离开是有点尴尬。但是，除非你的雇用合同有专门的规定，“每个人都可以‘自由转会’。”波士顿高管培训与新职介绍公司埃塞克斯事务所（Essex Partners）的合伙人霍华德•塞德尔指出。“公司常常解雇员工，反过来员工也可以自由离职。尽管按照自己的最高利益行事，无需为此抱歉。”

    话虽如此，你还是得小心处理离职这件事。在“起飞”之前，我为你准备了一个“登机”（departure有登机和离职两个意思——译注）清单：

    光明正大。“第一个应该知道你离职的人是你的顶头上司，”塞德尔说。“而且要面谈。”他注意到，当人们担心离职的消息引起的反应时，“就不敢出头露面，而是用电话、短信或者电邮知会对方。千万别那么干。”

    只有两个可能的例外，他说：“如果你一直就远程办公，很少见到老板；或者老板的日程安排太紧，你担心可能几周都看不到他或她，这时可以考虑电邮。但一定要尽可能地试图跟进，安排会面。”会面的时候，“注意语调。无需自我辩护或者道歉，但也不要趾高气扬。只要平静地陈述事实就好。”

    “直奔主题，”招聘公司Winter, Wyman的纽约市会计与金融分部的合伙人乔纳森•马佐奇建议。“就像撕去创可贴那样干脆。”

    马佐奇建议写一封简短的正式辞职信，内容包括你预期的最后工作日，然后在会面时带上一式两份：“请你的老板签署两份辞职信，你自己保留一份。”为什么这么做？“比如说你正参与一个长期计划，你的离职可能导致公司赔钱，”马佐奇假设说。“公司里有人想报复你，就告诉推荐核实人你是被炒掉的。有了这封签名辞职信，你就能证明你是自愿离职。”

    回绝挽留。马佐奇认为，在你这种情况下，“公司通常会给你加薪，希望你留下，即使会引起连锁反应。因为如果信息泄露，其他人也会要求加薪。”他进一步说，从你的观点来看这也不是什么好事，老板本来就因为你打算离开而感到不快，“如果他们费尽力气想要挽留你，最后还是遭到拒绝，那只会让人更加生气。”

    他说，为了防止这样的不快，你就要“斩钉截铁地表达你离开的意愿。简短地解释另一个工作对你的吸引力，比如那是你心仪已久的工作，而且是不抱希望时的喜从天降，此外还有某些机会是你现在的工作所无法提供的。”

    你不必明确透露下家是谁，马佐奇建议：“有些人确实会联系在你新东家的熟人，说你的坏话，目的就是为了报复你。这种事不常见，但也时有发生。”哪怕有一点点可能，也不要给任何人机会。

    做好交接班。即使新东家想要你马上上班，“你也不要对交接过程草草了事，”马佐奇警告说。“你也许得在晚上和周末加班加点，才能确保不会让你现在的公司陷入困境，但这样辛苦劳碌的几个星期会是值得的，因为它展现了你忠于职守的品质。”

    职场中会有这样的趣事：如果你在某个行业呆了数十年，甚至有时候你完全跳出这个行业，你还是会一次又一次地碰到同样的人，而你也无法预知将来谁会是你职业道路上的贵人。所以离开的时候，尽最大努力做到不伤害任何人。“太多的人只顾急吼吼地离开，”马佐奇说。“他们通常都会后悔。”

    Dear Annie: I like my job, and I just got a promotion, but I have a dilemma. For the past three years, I've been trying to get a foot in the door at my dream company, without success -- until now. The company has contacted me with an offer that I really feel I cannot turn down. I know my bosses where I work now won't like it, but I can't let this opportunity pass me by. Do you have any advice on how I should break the news that I'm quitting? — In Demand

    Dear I.D.: No doubt about it, leaving right after a promotion is awkward. But, unless you have an employment contract that says otherwise, "everybody's a free agent," notes Howard Seidel, a partner at Boston-based executive coaching and outplacement firm Essex Partners. "Companies terminate employees all the time, and the flip side is that people are free to quit. You absolutely should not feel bad about doing what's in your own best interests."

    That said, however, you'd be wise to handle your exit with care. Before you take off, here's a pre-departure checklist:

    Be direct. "The first person to find out you're leaving should be your immediate boss," Seidel says. "And have this conversation in person." When people are nervous about how their news will be received, he observes, "it's tempting to hide behind technology and call or send a text or an email. Don't."

    Two possible exceptions, he says: "If you always work remotely anyway and rarely see your boss, or if your boss's calendar is so packed that you're afraid you might not get in to see him or her for weeks, then maybe an email is okay -- but try to follow it up with an in-person meeting if you possibly can." Then, when you get there, "watch your tone. Don't be defensive or apologetic, but don't be defiant either. Just calmly state the facts."

    "Get right to the point," advises Jonathan Mazzocchi, a partner in the New York City accounting and finance division of staffing and recruiting firm Winter, Wyman. "It's like ripping off a Band Aid."

    Mazzocchi recommends writing a brief formal letter of resignation that includes when you expect your last day will be, and bringing two copies to this meeting: "Ask your boss to sign both copies, and you keep one." Why? "Let's say you're in the middle of a long project and your leaving will cost the company money," Mazzocchi hypothesizes. "Someone at the company may try to make trouble for you by telling reference checkers you were fired. With the signed letter, you have proof you left voluntarily."

    Fend off a counteroffer. Mazzocchi says that, in situations like yours, "companies most often will offer you more money to stay -- even though it's a slippery slope for them, because if word gets out, other people will want the same deal." From your point of view, he adds, the trouble is that bosses who are already dismayed because you're leaving will be even more so "if they jump through hoops to make you a counteroffer and you still turn it down. That really does upset people."

    The way to prevent that debacle, he says, is to "be very definite about your intention to leave. Explain briefly what appeals to you about the other job offer, including the fact that it's your dream job and fell into your lap when you weren't actively looking, and it comes with certain opportunities that aren't available in the position you have now."

    You don't have to say which company you're going to, Mazzocchi adds: "There are actually people who will call someone they know at the new company and badmouth you, just to be vindictive. It isn't common, but it happens." If that seems at all likely, don't give anyone the chance.

    Help hand over the reins to your successor. Even if your new employer wants you to start right away, "don't give short shrift to this transition process," Mazzocchi warns. "You may have to work nights and weekends to ensure that you don't leave your current employer in the lurch, but it's worth a few hectic weeks of extra effort, because it shows them you care."

    Funny thing about a career: Especially if you stay in the same industry for decades, and sometimes even if you don't, you tend to run into many of the same people over and over again, and you never know who will be important to your progress later on. So do your best not to trample on anyone's toes as you make for the exit. "Too many people just run out the door," says Mazzocchi. "They usually regret it later."