亲爱的安妮：希望您和您的读者能给我一些建议。我在一家金融服务公司任中层，表现一直很优秀——在四年内曾被两次升职，直到最近发生了一些事情。我的父母都已经八十多岁，他们最近搬到了离我更近的一个小镇上，便于我照看他们。他们居住在一家有辅助看护的养老院，但我还是需要陪他们去看医生，时不时地过去确保他们的食品和药物充足。

    但问题在于，我的公司不允许弹性工作制或远程办公，对于我每周一两次迫不得已迟到或早退的情况，老板说了一些很尖锐的话。我的许多同事也在面临类似的情况，所以请问我们是否有什么选择，或者享有哪些法定权利？我们都不希望为了灵活的办公时间而跳槽。您有什么建议？——S.O.S.

    亲爱的S.O.S.：尽管这样的安慰有些苍白，但你与同事的情况并非个例，在美国正呈现日益增长的趋势。为了正确看待你面临的困境，我们来看一系列统计数据：皮尤研究中心（Pew Research）的调查发现，约有4,000万美国人，目前正在帮助照顾至少一位父母的日常生活，其中大多数人的年龄在40岁至59岁之间。大多数看护者为女性，男性占45%。此外，美国退休者协会（AARP）的调查发现，大多数看护者都有工作，其中70%不得不“做一些工作上的调整”——比如迟到或早退。

    但许多雇主似乎并未开始关注这一问题。比如：据人力资源管理协会（Society for Human Resources Management）2014年的员工福利调查发现，为寻找老人看护资源的员工提供转介服务的雇主仅有5%。只有不到1%的雇主会提供老人医疗咨询，或是在紧急情况下提供后援看护服务等福利。

    至于说员工的合法权利，现在还不够完善。《家庭医疗休假法案》（Family Medical Leave Act，FMLA）和类似的州级法律规定，如果员工为解决家庭问题而不得不无薪休假，雇主应该保留员工的职位。劳动法律师事务所Fisher & Phillips的合伙人史蒂芬•伯恩斯坦表示，在某些情况下，请假的时间“可以是断断续续的，而不是连续的，最少可按15分钟的增量累计。但这并不适用于所有情况。”

    包括密尔沃基、坦帕、华盛顿特区和亚特兰大在内的许多城市，均通过了地方性法规，禁止“家庭责任歧视”。鉴于大多数看护者是女性，因此公平就业机会委员会（Equal Opportunity Commission）和法院也认为，某些禁止性别歧视的联邦和州级法律，同样适用于这一问题。

    但伯恩斯坦认为，在大多数情况下，尽管老人看护者可能很快就能得到更多法律保护，但这毕竟是一个“正在发展变化的领域”。他补充道，随着7,700万婴儿潮一代步入老年，“将有越来越多的人一直工作到70多岁，同时还要照顾90多岁的亲人。立法者和雇主都必须认识到这一点。”

    毫无疑问，即便只是因为照顾老人的成本高昂这一原因，它也值得雇主关注。例如，美国大都会人寿保险（MetLife）2010年的报告称，员工照顾老人导致的生产效率下降、缺勤和因看护者不堪重负所产生的更高的医疗成本，每年为美国公司造成170亿至340亿美元的损失。

    那么，除了辞职之外，你和你的同事还能做什么？首先，福利公司Care.com的老人服务副总裁朱迪•加斯特弗莱德表示：“要看到集体的力量。”她建议你们共同去找公司人力资源部的相关人员，谈谈灵活办公时间的问题。

    她认为：“灵活的办公时间是首要问题。”没有人会对你们的要求感到意外。“灵活办公时间已经成为一个全国性话题，所以现在提出这样的要求比以往要容易得多。”

    与此同时，你需要将自己的情况如实告诉自己的老板。福利咨询公司Ceridian LifeWorks的员工与领导力培训总监丽莎•布尔表示：“如今，管理者有太多问题需要处理，如果你不告诉他们，他们不可能了解你正面临怎样的困境。”她表示，大多数老板会愿意给有价值的员工提供灵活的办公时间，而且“即使一点点灵活性，对于缓解压力也有极大帮助”，或者至少会减少你所听到的那些“尖锐的话。”

    此外，布尔补充道，你还应该仔细研究一下公司的员工援助计划（EAP），看看公司是否有可用的老人看护资源。

    她说道：“除非必须用到它，否则，大多数人根本不清楚雇主的员工援助计划包括哪些内容。”某些员工援助计划至少能帮员工联系提供老人看护信息和支持的政府机构和非营利组织，或帮助员工联系全美护理联盟（National Alliance for Caregiving）或家庭看护者联盟（Family Caregiver Alliance）等组织。

    对现在的你比较有价值的消息是，经布尔预测，越来越多的雇主很快将开始为老人看护者提供帮助，因为“这将成为吸引和留住人才的一个有效工具，尤其是非常看重工作-生活平衡的千禧一代。”

    对婴儿潮一代也是如此。Ceridian LifeWorks为其员工提供灵活的办公时间，慷慨的员工援助计划，以及针对老人看护者的其他支持，虽然对于一家福利行业的公司来说，这并不令人感到意外。布尔要同时照顾一位76岁的老人和14岁的孩子，她说道“如果我找其他工作，肯定也要求有这些福利。所以，我没有选择。”

    反馈：你的公司是否会提供灵活办公时间或其他老人看护协助？如果你就是一位看护者，那么，帮助你做好工作的因素都有哪些？欢迎评论。(财富中文网)

    翻译：刘进龙/汪皓

    Dear Annie:I’m hoping you and your readers can offer some suggestions. I’m in middle management at a financial services company and my performance has always been great—I’ve been promoted twice in four years—until recently. My parents, who are in their late 80s, have moved to a town nearby to be closer so that I can help them out. They’re in an assisted-living facility, but I need to go with them to doctors’ appointments, stop by to check on them, and make sure they have groceries and medications.

    The problem is, my company doesn’t allow flexible hours or telecommuting, and my boss has started making pointed remarks about the times when I am unavoidably late or have to leave early, once or twice a week. A few of my colleagues are dealing with similar situations, so we’re wondering if we have any options, or any legal rights. None of us wants to go work somewhere else to get flextime. Your thoughts? —Save Our Sanity

    Dear S.O.S.:Cold comfort though it may be, you and your coworkers are part of a growing national trend. To put your predicament in perspective, a few statistics: about 40 million Americans, most aged 40 to 59, now are helping at least one elderly parent with the tasks of daily living, says a Pew Research study, and, although most caregivers are women, about 45% are men. Moreover, AARP research says most caregivers have jobs, but 70% are obliged to “make workplace adjustments”—coming in late or leaving early, for instance.

    Yet it seems many employers haven’t caught on. Consider: a scant 5% offers a referral service to employees looking for eldercare resources, according to the 2014 Employee Benefits Survey from the Society for Human Resources Management. Fewer than 1% offers benefits like geriatric counseling or backup eldercare services for emergencies.

    As for your legal rights, they’re a bit sketchy. The Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) and its state counterparts say employers have to keep your job open for you if you take an unpaid leave of absence to deal with family issues. In some instances, the time off “can be intermittent, rather than continual, and in increments as small as 15 minutes,” says Steven Bernstein, a partner at employment law firm Fisher & Phillips. “But that doesn’t apply in every situation.”

    A few cities, including Milwaukee, Tampa, Washington D.C., and Atlanta, have passed local statutes prohibiting “family responsibility discrimination.” Since most caregivers are female, the Equal Opportunity Commission and the courts have also found that some federal and state laws against sex bias apply in these matters.

    But for the most part, although caregivers may soon gain more legal protection, this is still “an evolving area,” Bernstein says, adding that, as 77 million Baby Boomers head into old age, “more people are working into their 70s and taking care of relatives in their 90s. It’s something lawmakers, and employers, will have to start recognizing.”

    No doubt, if only because eldercare problems are expensive. A 2010 report from MetLife says, for instance, that caregiving costs U.S. businesses from $17 billion to $34 billion annually in lost productivity, absenteeism, and higher medical expenses for stressed-out caregivers.

    So, what can you and your coworkers do now, short of quitting? First, says Jody Gastfriend, vice president of senior services at benefits firm Care.com, “There is power in numbers.” She suggests you go as a group to speak with someone in your company’s HR department about the need for flextime.

    “Flexible hours are the No. 1 issue here,” she notes, adding that no one is likely to be surprised by your request. “Flextime has become a national conversation, so it’s easier to bring up than it used to be.”

    At the same time, you need to lay your cards on the table with your boss. “Managers now have so many things to contend with, they can’t know what you’re dealing with unless you tell them,” says Lisa Bull, director of employee and leadership learning at benefits consultants Ceridian LifeWorks. She says most bosses are willing to work out flexible hours with a valued employee and that “even a little bit of flexibility can go a long way” in taking some of the pressure off, or at least cutting down on the “pointed remarks” you’ve been receiving.

    You should also take a close look at your company’s Employee Assistance Program (EAP), Bull adds, to see if there are available eldercare resources.

    “Most people don’t even know the range of what their employer’s EAP provides, until they need to use it,” she notes. Some EAPs will at least connect you with local government agencies and nonprofits that offer eldercare information and support, or with organizations like the National Alliance for Caregiving or the Family Caregiver Alliance.

    For what it’s worth to you now, Bull predicts that more employers will start to offer help with eldercare before too long, because “it’s becoming a huge tool for attracting and retaining talent, especially among Millennials, who put a high priority on work-life balance.”

    So do Boomers. Not surprisingly for a company in the benefits business, Ceridian LifeWorks offers its employees flextime, a generous EAP, and other support for caregivers. And since Bull is taking care of both a 76-year-old parent and a 14-year-old child, she says, “If I were looking for a job somewhere else, I’d look for those same benefits. I’d have no choice.”

    Talkback:Does your company offer flextime or other eldercare assistance? If you’re a caregiver, what helps you get your job done? Leave a comment below.