亲爱的安妮：我读过你写的关于如何要求加薪的文章，但假如有另外一家你一直非常期待的公司给你发来了工作邀请，但他们给的工资达不到你所期望的水平，你该怎么办？我所在的是一个高度专业的营销领域，我是其中一名经验丰富的管理人员。我调查了同一个城市不同公司类似职位的工资水平，结果发现，（可能的）新雇主给出的工资属于最低水平。

    这份工作是一个绝佳的机会，但他们给出的条件仅比我目前的收入略有提高，我相信我应该值更多钱。可我该如何提出加薪要求，又能避免让自己给人贪婪的印象，进而毁掉这次机会呢？——H.H.

    亲爱的H.H.：我猜你一定是通过Salary.com、PayScale.com和JobNob.com这些网站调查了其他公司的工资水平，对吧？这么做自然没什么问题——只是“网站并不会告诉你一个职位享有的那些福利，”克里斯汀•麦基-罗斯说。麦基-罗斯是猎头公司Witt/Kieffer圣路易斯办事处的主理合伙人，曾参加过数百次起薪谈判。“不要只盯着工资。对于高管和经验丰富的管理者而言，福利通常占到总薪酬的30%至40%。”

    她补充道：“薪酬的福利部分非常复杂。看看那些各种各样的保险，比如人寿保险和伤残保险，再加上奖金和股票期权，还有汽车补贴和健身俱乐部会员资格等等。求职者们很少会将这些福利的价值考虑在内。”因此，她建议看看全部薪酬内容，而不要仅仅关注工资本身。全部薪酬内容的价值可能远远高于你的预期。

    不过，我们假设你已经做过这样的调查，结果他们给出的薪酬依然很低。“你当然可以问问原因，”麦基-罗斯说。“但一定要小心。拿着你搜集的那些数据，然后对他们说：‘从这些数据来看，我的市场价值应该是X’，这种做法的基调显然并不正确，对抗性太强。如果你正在与之谈判的那个人是你在新工作中的直接上司，这种做法更不可行。

    相反，她建议：“你可以这样说：‘根据我所做的市场调查，我预期的数字更接近X。您能不能告诉我您是如何决定提供Y的呢？’你希望进行真正的谈判，而不是对质。”以下是其他四条建议，将帮助你增加获得理想薪酬的机会：

    1. 明确自己的优先目标。麦基-罗斯要求求职者们做一个列表，包括3个部分：要接受邀请必须获得的条件；哪些是可选的条件；以及哪些是他们最不关注的，并且为了得到其他东西而愿意放弃的条件。她发现：“列表中的项目，以及各个项目所属的类别，均因人而异。但在谈判之前，你必须得知道自己到底想要什么，需要什么，以及在什么情况下你会放弃。”

    Dear Annie: I read your column on how to ask for a raise, but I wonder, what can you do if you get a job offer from a company where you really want to work, but the salary they have in mind is less than you think it should be? I'm an experienced manager in a highly specialized area of marketing, and when I researched what comparable positions pay at various companies in the same city, I discovered that the offer my (potentially) new employer has made is at the rock-bottom of the range.

    The job is a terrific opportunity, but I believe I'm worth more than what they're offering, which is barely more than what I'm already making. How do I say this without seeming greedy, and without blowing my chances? — Hesitating to Haggle

    Dear H.H.: I'm assuming you researched what those other jobs pay by looking at sites like Salary.com, PayScale.com, and JobNob.com, right? There's nothing wrong with that -- except that "the websites don't tell you what benefits come with the position," notes Christine Mackey-Ross. As managing partner of the St. Louis office of executive recruiters Witt/Kieffer, she's a veteran of hundreds of starting pay discussions. "It's not just about salary. For executives and seasoned managers, benefits usually make up 30% to 40% of total compensation.

    "The benefits piece of the package can be complicated," she adds, "if you look at various kinds of insurance, including life and disability, plus bonuses and stock options, all the way down to things like car allowances and health club memberships. Very few candidates really take into account the value of all those things." With that in mind, she suggests taking a second look at the whole offer, rather than just salary. It might be worth more than you think.

    But let's suppose you've already done that, and the pay they're offering still looks too low. "You certainly can ask why," says Mackey-Ross. "Just be careful. Going in with the data you've collected and saying, 'According to this, my market value is X' sets the wrong tone. It's too adversarial, especially if you're negotiating with someone you'll be reporting to in the new job."

    Instead, she suggests, "Say something like, 'From the market research I've done, the figure I was expecting was closer to X. Would you mind walking me through how you arrived at Y?' You want this to be a real negotiation, not a confrontation." Four other tips for boosting the odds that you'll get the pay you want:

    1. Know your priorities. Mackey-Ross asks candidates to make a three-column list: What they feel they must have in order to take the offer; what is optional; and what they care least about and would be willing to give up in order to get something else. "The items on this list, and which category they fall into, can vary quite a lot from one person to another," she notes. "But you need to go into the negotiation knowing exactly what you really want, or need, and at what point you're willing to walk away."