亲爱的安妮：您最近的一篇文章提到了彼得原理——即人们可能会被晋升到他们能力水平难以胜任的岗位，.我对这个话题很感兴趣，因为我担心这个原理可能恰好适合我的情况。我今年29岁，刚刚得到升职，现在一家广告公司管理一支客户经理团队。虽然他们全都比我年长，也比我更有经验。（事实上，三年前我刚被公司聘用的时候，其中的两位同事还曾负责对我进行过培训。）

    这着实有些令人尴尬。我之前从没做过别人的上司。说实话，能得到这份工作，我也非常吃惊。我能感觉到，团队中某些成员对我流露出怨恨的情绪，因为他们在工作中似乎开始拖拖拉拉（比如错过工作的截止日期等）。这意味着我必须得跟他们好好谈谈他们最近不尽如人意的表现，可我对这种事还有些恐惧。您有什么建议吗？——E.U.

亲爱的E.U.：你的经历是非常有趣的历史重演。这里就有另外一个一样的故事，芝加哥JB培训方案公司（JB Training Solutions）负责人布拉德•卡希说：“马基亚维利曾写道：‘如果不能两全，与其被爱，不如被怕。’人们似乎忘记了第二部分。管理者应该以获得尊重和喜爱为目标——但如果一定要选择其一，那么尊重更加重要。”

    卡希参与编写了一本新书，名为《管理者3.0：千禧一代重写管理法则指南》（Manager 3.0: A Millennial's Guide to Rewriting the Rules of Management）。我想你对这本书应该会很感兴趣。书中主要为对扎珀斯（Zappos）、团购网站Groupon、西南航空（Southwest Airlines）、谷歌（Google）和其他有大量年轻领导者的公司进行的微型案例研究。

    美国当前人口统计结果或许很快就会反映在大多数公司中：虽然在年长的同事眼中，千禧一代（1981年至2000年出生）“只是孩子”，但美国劳工统计局（Bureau of Labor Statistics）预测，截至2015年，职场中Y一代的人数将超过婴儿潮一代。由于X一代的人数太少，难以填补婴儿潮一代退休（每天有10,000人会达到65岁）所留下的空缺，所以许多千禧一代纷纷开始走上管理岗位。

    卡希说：“这种状况非常棘手。但要记住，你当前的担忧只有一部分与年龄有关。新官上任总会有一些疑惑和紧张不安，这与年龄无关。这是非常艰难的转变，因为你要走出自己的舒适区，进入一个陌生的领域。”

    此外，关于你感受到的怨恨情绪，卡希认为，或许其中的一部分来自你的臆想。他曾在许多公司提供领导力培训，在这些公司“新上任的年轻管理者感受到的怨恨往往多于实际情况。而他们之所以会产生这样的想法，或许是因为他们先入为主的预测。”或许，你的团队之所以错过最终期限，还有其他的原因，与你没有关系。把情况弄清楚总没坏处。

    与此同时，对于如何树立自己的信誉，同时“向团队和你自己证明你配得上这份工作”，卡希提出给出了三条建议。首先，他说道：“你必须承认，你之前的队友们确实比你经验更加丰富——但要成为老板，所需要的不止经验。如果人们看到你工作非常努力，而且做出了非常明智的决策，事情一定会逐渐好转。”要习惯这样一种观点，即要获得团队的尊重，可能需要六个月甚至一年的时间。卡希补充说：“这种事没有捷径。必须要有足够的耐心。”

    此外，卡希建议：“充分利用同事的经验。向他们征求对于团队决策的意见。即使你做出截然不同的决定，也要让他们知道你考虑过他们的观点。”

Dear Annie: Your recent article mentioning the Peter Principle -- which dictates that people tend to get promoted beyond their level of competence -- caught my eye because I'm a little worried that it might apply to me. I'm 29 and just got moved up to a job where I'm now managing my team of account executives at an ad agency, even though they are all older and more experienced. (In fact, two of these colleagues trained me when I was hired three years ago.)

    This is really awkward. I've never been a boss before and, to tell you the truth, I'm surprised I got this job. I'm sensing a lot of resentment from several of the people who were my teammates, to the point where they seem to be dragging their feet (missing deadlines, etc.), which means I have to talk to them about their not-so-great performance lately, and I am totally dreading that. Any suggestions? -- Ethelred the Unready

Dear E.U.: Interesting historical reference, there. Here's another one: "Machiavelli wrote, 'It's better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both,'" notes Brad Karsh, head of Chicago-based JB Training Solutions. "People tend to forget the second part. Managers should aim to be both respected and liked — but if you have to pick one, respect is better."

    Karsh is co-author of a new book you might want to take a look at, called Manager 3.0: A Millennial's Guide to Rewriting the Rules of Management. It's full of mini-case studies from Zappos, Groupon (GRPN), Southwest Airlines (LUV), Google (GOOG), and other companies with lots of young bosses.

    Given current U.S. demographics, that may soon describe most companies: Although Millennials (born between 1981 and 2000) often look to older workers like they are "just kids," the Bureau of Labor Statistics projects that Gen Y will outnumber Boomers in the workplace by 2015. Since the number of Gen Xers is too small to fill all the corner offices vacated by retiring Boomers — who are turning 65 at a rate of 10,000 a day — many Millennials like you are stepping into management jobs.

    "It's a tricky situation," Karsh notes. "But bear in mind that your uneasiness is only partly age-related. Almost every brand new boss, at any age, has doubts and jitters. It's a tough transition because you're moving beyond your comfort zone and onto unfamiliar ground."

    Moreover, regarding that resentment you're sensing, Karsh wonders whether you might not be imagining at least some of it. He has done leadership coaching at companies where "new, young managers are seeing more resentment than there really is. They see it because they expect it." Maybe there's some reason why your team has been blowing deadlines that has nothing to do with you. It can't hurt to ask.

    Meanwhile, Karsh has three suggestions for building your credibility and "proving to your team, and yourself, that you deserve this job." First, he says, "you have to acknowledge that, yes, your former teammates do have more experience than you do — but that isn't all it takes to be a boss. Things will get better, slowly, if everyone sees that you're working hard and making good decisions." Get used to the idea that winning the team's respect could take six months or even a year, Karsh adds: "There is no quick fix. It takes patience."

    At the same time, Karsh suggests, "Tap into all that experience your colleagues have. Ask for their input on decisions. Even if you decide to go a different way, acknowledge that you've considered their point of view."