亲爱的安妮：我主动承担了一个颇受关注的大项目，很显然这个项目超出了我的能力范围。我尝试了一种之前从未使用过的方式。我以为这种方法会奏效，甚至相比我们之前在类似项目上的投入，我认为这种方法可以节省大量时间和资金。

    很可惜，惨败的过程不必细说。如今事实证明，我的想法破产了。项目落后于预定计划，结果为了让项目“回到正常轨道”，我的上司指定了其他人负责。公司高层经常说，冒险是创新的一个重要部分，比如“多失败，快失败”之类的话。但我没看到任何人像我一样，把事情搞砸，我感觉自己像是办公室里的“低等贱民”。现在我想知道，我能否从那次失败中恢复过来，重新树立自己的“街头信誉”？或者我最好还是赶快找一份新工作？——I.D.

    亲爱的I.D.：先别着急更新简历。Highland咨询集团（Highland Consulting Group）总裁兼CEO、高管导师罗克珊娜•休尔森说：“只要想学东西，我们都会犯错误。这次失败会让你刻骨铭心，所以一定要充分利用它。”

    她补充道，这意味着先把自我放到一边，真正“理解关于自己，关于公司，你能从中学到哪些东西。”尽可能平静、冷静地仔细分析计划失败的原因。然后与上司以及项目目前的负责人坐下来，好好交流一下你为什么认为自己的想法会有效，同时解释一下最终失败的具体原因。

    这种谈话有些难度，正如在其他谈话中一样，态度决定一切。不恰当的语气，比如烦躁、生气或防御性的语气，对于你已经遭受打击的声誉无疑弊大于利。对于如何走出失败的阴影，休尔森提供了六条建议：

    1. 把问题摆到台面上。休尔森说：“就算你能隐瞒所发生的事情，也不要这么做。”如果不能做到完全诚实，会让人们禁不住怀疑，实际情况是不是比看起来更糟糕。

    2. 与上司进行坦诚的交流。如上所述，重点是你从这次灾难性的经历中学到了什么，以及你的上司认为通过此次失败你会有怎样的转变。如果你与公司管理曾关系良好，休尔森建议，询问一下他或她是如何从过去的错误中恢复过来的。每个人至少都犯过一个（通常更多）错误，他们或许会告诉你如何从失败中走出来。

    3. 勇于承担责任。休尔森认为，这样的一次挫折会不会让你消沉，关键“不在于错误本身，而是你的个性和应对失败的方法。大多数情况下，如果你能主动承认错误，人们会因为你的诚实而原谅你。”但这需要有勇气，心甘情愿吞下苦果，包括“没有借口，没有辩解，不责怪其他任何人，哪怕事实上有人要为失败负一定责任，”休尔森说道。

    Dear Annie:I volunteered to run a big, visible project that was something of a stretch assignment for me, and I took an approach that was radically different from anything that had been tried here before. I really thought it would work, and possibly even save a lot of time and money over what we had been expending on similar projects in the past.

    Unfortunately, and without going into all the gory details, it's now becoming painfully obvious that my idea was a bust. The project is way behind schedule, and my boss has put someone else in charge to "get it back on track." Senior management at my company is always talking about risk as an essential part of innovation, "fail often and fail fast," etc. But I've never seen anyone here actually blow it like I just did, and I'm feeling like the office pariah. Now I'm wondering, can I recover from this and get my "street cred" back, or would it be smart to start job hunting? -- In the Doghouse

    Dear I.D.:Whoa, don't start updating your resume just yet. "We all make mistakes, if we're going to learn anything," notes Roxana Hewertson, an executive coach who is president and CEO of Highland Consulting Group. "You'll never forget this one, so make the most of it."

    That means putting your ego to the side and "truly understanding what you can learn from it, about yourself, and your business, in every way possible," she adds. Analyze exactly how and why your plan went off the rails, as calmly and dispassionately as you can. Then sit down with your boss, and perhaps the person now in charge of the project, outline why you thought your idea would work, and explain precisely why it didn't.

    In this difficult conversation, as in so many others, attitude is everything. The wrong tone -- whether whiny, angry, or defensive -- can do way more harm than good to your already bruised reputation. Hewertson offers six tips for recovering from a flop:

    1. Put all your cards on the table. "Even if you can, don't hide anything about what happened," Hewertson says. Anything less than total honesty is likely to make people start wondering if the situation is actually worse than it already looks.

    2. Have a heart-to-heart with your boss. As noted above, the emphasis here should be on what you've learned from this debacle, and about where he or she sees you going from here. If you have a good relationship with your manager, Hewertson recommends asking how he or she recovered from a mistake, at some point in the past. Everyone has made at least one (and often many), and sometimes they'll even tell you how they bounced back from it.

    3. Own it. Whether a setback like this sinks you or not is "not really about the mistake at all," says Hewertson. "It's about your character and how you deal with it. In most cases, people will forgive an honest mistake if you own up to it." That takes a willingness to swallow a big gulp of humble pie -- including, Hewertson says, "no excuses, no justifications, and absolutely no blaming anyone else, even if there were in fact others who contributed to what went wrong".