亲爱的安妮：您近期的专栏文章提到了获得晋升可能存在的坏处，正好说中了我的心事，因为我现在正面临一个非常奇怪的问题。事情是这样的，过去几年，我尽心竭力，投入了大量时间，做了许多创造性的工作。当时，公司受到经济衰退的影响而陷入低谷。现在，公司形势有所好转，我前期努力的“回报”是得到大幅度提拔。可问题在于，很多时候，我都感觉自己得到的是“蠢材奖”。

    当然，我接受了这份工作，因为这样我的工资能涨不少，而且还有一间名至实归的私人办公室。另外一个原因是，我不希望因为拒绝接受这份工作而被看成“逃兵”。但我真的认为自己不适合管理别人。我的性格太过内向，我自己一个人工作（和思考）的效果要好得多，而且，我也不喜欢指派别人做事，或者让他们各司其职。如果我要求回到原先的工作岗位，是不是太过疯狂？或许，我应该坚持下来，尽量在这个工作岗位上做得更好？——C.O.B.

    亲爱的C.O.B.：首先，你所面临的问题并不奇怪，或许这能让你好受点。实际上，这是一种非常普遍的现象。比如：培训机构美国智睿咨询有限公司（Development Dimensions International.）近期的一项调查发现，新任管理者中，不足一半（42%）的人认为自己明白如何在管理岗位上取得成功，仅有23%的人确实希望领导其他人，仅十分之一的人真正为管理职位做过准备。

    而由贝瑞特•科勒商务出版社（Berrett-Koehler）进行的另外一项调查发现，只有43%的管理者在自己的工作岗位上如鱼得水，不足三分之一的人表示自己享受管理工作。

    德沃拉•扎克称：“所有人都认为只有自己才会面临这样的情况，但实际上，与真正喜欢管理工作的人相比，不喜欢的情况更为普遍。”德沃拉•扎克是美国华盛顿特区附近一家咨询公司Only Connect Consulting的负责人。在与企业汽车租赁公司（Enterprise Rent-a-Car）和美国国内收入署（Internal Revenue Service）等机构合作过程中，扎克遇到过很多闷闷不乐的管理者，为此，她专门写了一本即将在近期出版的书——《“管理厌烦症”患者的出路》(Managing for People Who Hate Managing)

    扎克发现：“许多人之所以厌恶管理，是因为对于什么样的人才是最理想的管理者，或者最理想的管理者应该怎么做，心中有一个固定的观念，而他们认为自己根本达不到那种理想状态。例如，你可能会想：‘既然我现在成了老板，就一定要足够坚强、坚韧和果断！’”但或许人们更应该在协商一致的基础上进行管理，或是反过来。她补充道：“如果你认为部分工作出现问题，可以改变工作方式，或者将工作分配给其他人。实际情况是，对于领导者来说，如何做好管理工作，并没有所谓的黄金法则。你需要找到真正适合自己的方式，而不要去空想所谓完美的老板。”

    首先，是要认清自己的个人风格。扎克的书中有一个基于迈尔斯-布里格斯性格类型测试的评估练习，可以判断出你是以事实与逻辑作为行为根据的“思考者”，还是凭借直觉，在与他人交往中更加感性的“感受者”。其实许多人会同时具有这两种品质，但了解自己在这个连续统一体中处于什么位置可以帮助你了解自己的优势。

    扎克建议：“接受自我，并利用自身的优势。”例如，我们来看看内向者最典型的特性——单独工作时的表现。扎克认为：“不同于主流观点，内向者其实能够成为非常优秀的老板。原因之一是，在进行一对一交流时，他们通常是非常出色的倾听者。”与此形成鲜明对比的是，外向者通常说得更多。对于内向者来说，有一项非常流行的管理技术会让他们痛苦不堪——开放政策。扎克表示：“整天有人打扰会让内向者发疯，他们会非常沮丧和不满。”其实，你可以告诉所有人，除了紧急情况外，你的大门只在特定时段开放。她补充说：“关键是要坚持那些能让你自己保持最佳状态的做法。人们往往会更乐意和实在的领导相处。”

    扎克给出的建议是：“花些时间弄清楚能调动手下积极性的因素。然后再有针对性地采取措施。”

    例如，她认为，如果你要对一名思考者进行绩效反馈，“一定要坚持以事实为依据，然后开门见山，直奔主题。否则你会惹恼他们，他们也就会把你的话当耳旁风。”此外，她建议，尽量针对不同的人调整自己的方法，虽然这需要付出更多努力，但却能得到更多的回报，而这反过来也会让你对自己的工作更加满意。

    在扎克看来，你现在开始管理工作至少有一大优势。“你愿意承认自己不喜欢这份工作，并认为自己并不擅长管理工作，这表明你具有很高的自我认识水平。”实际上这是一种积极的能量，只是目前尚未显现。扎克说：“其实，最糟糕的是，有些人自认是优秀的管理者，而实际上根本不是。他们才是真的会给公司带来损害的人。”

    反馈：您是否有在毫无准备或不情愿的情况下获得提拔的经历？您是如何进行自我调整的？欢迎评论。

    译者：刘进龙/汪皓

    Dear Annie: Your recent column about the possible downsides of getting a promotion struck a nerve with me, because I have kind of a weird problem. What happened was, I put in extremely long hours and a lot of creative effort during the past couple of years, while our company was suffering badly from the economic slump. Now that business has picked up a little, I've been "rewarded" with a big promotion. The trouble is that, most days, I feel like I won the booby prize.

    I accepted this job because it comes with a big raise, and an office with an actual door, and because I didn't want to seem like a slacker by turning it down. But I really don't think I'm cut out to manage other people. I'm too introverted, I work (and think) much better alone, and I don't enjoy telling other people what to do or holding them accountable for doing it. Would it be crazy to ask for my old job back? Or should I just suck it up and try to get better at this? — Corner Office Blues

    Dear C.O.B.: First of all, it might help to realize that your problem is not weird. In fact, it's extremely common. Consider: Fewer than half (42%) of new managers believe they understand how to succeed at their jobs, only 23% actually want to lead other people, and barely one in ten has had any formal preparation for the role, according to a recent study by training firm Development Dimensions International.

    Another survey, by business publishers Berrett-Koehler, found that only 43% of managers are comfortable in their jobs, and fewer than one in three (32%) say they like managing.

    "Everyone thinks they're alone with this, but disliking being in charge is actually more common than liking it," says Devora Zack, head of Only Connect Consulting, based near Washington, D.C. In her work with organizations as diverse as Enterprise Rent-a-Car and the Internal Revenue Service, Zack has met so many unhappy managers that she has written a book about it, the soon-to-be-published Managing for People Who Hate Managing.

    "Many people hate managing because they have a fixed idea in their minds of what an ideal manager is or does, and they think they can't live up to it," Zack observes. "For example, you might think, 'Now that I'm the boss, I have be strong, tough, and decisive!' But maybe you'd really rather manage by consensus -- or it might be vice versa.

    "If some part of your job feels wrong to you, change the way you do it, or delegate it to someone else," she adds. "The truth is that there is no one right way to be a leader. You have to find what works for you, not for some imaginary perfect boss."

    The first step, as you might expect, is to take a close look at your own personal style. Zack's book includes an assessment exercise, based on the Myers-Briggs Type personality test, to pinpoint whether you're a Thinker, basing your behavior on facts and logic, or a Feeler, leading from the gut and more empathetic in your approach to others. Most people have a mixture of both traits, but understanding where you stand on the continuum can help you understand your strengths.

    "Accept who you are and use it," Zack says. Let's look, for example, at your preference for working alone, a classic characteristic of introverts. "Contrary to popular belief, introverts can make great bosses. For one thing, they are usually excellent listeners one-on-one," says Zack -- compared to extroverts, who like to do most of the talking.

    One popular management technique that spells misery for introverts is an open-door policy. "Letting people interrupt you all day will drive you crazy and make you frustrated and grouchy," Zack says. Instead, make it known that your door is open only during certain times of day, except in emergencies. "The point is to stick with practices that let you be your best self," she adds. "People respond to leaders who are authentic."

    While you're at it, Zack suggests, "take the time to notice what drives the people on your team. What motivates and engages them? Then deal with them accordingly."

    For instance, if you're giving performance feedback to a Thinker, she says, "stick with the facts and get right to the point. Otherwise you'll just annoy that person, and they'll start tuning you out." Making the effort to tailor your approach to different individuals "is more work than treating everyone exactly the same," she adds. "But you'll get much better results -- and that in itself will give you more satisfaction with your job."

    You're starting with at least one big advantage, by Zack's lights. "Even being willing to admit that you don't like this job, and you don't think you're good at it, shows a high level of self-awareness," she says. It may not seem so right now, but that's actually a positive thing. "The worst is someone who thinks he or she is a great manager but actually is not," says Zack. "Those are the people who do real damage."

    Talkback: Have you ever gotten a promotion you weren't ready for or didn't really want? How did you adjust to it? Leave a comment below.